


Insane

by Speedforce1229



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-15 08:02:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 83,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5777785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Speedforce1229/pseuds/Speedforce1229
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU after Season 5 a. After Hook's sacrifice and learning that Gold tricked them all, Emma falls into a spiral of depression and rage that will change the lives of everyone in her life. Lost in the darkness of her own mind, only Regina can understand the path she is on and try to save her before Emma destroys herself and everyone around her. Major Character death, TW for mentions of suicidal attempts and past mentions of abuse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I own none of the characters or TV show. Purely for fun. This will be a dark story with a Swan Queen endgame. It starts after Season 5 A but will not involve the underworld or Hook. So no matter what happens in 5 b this will be AU. TW for suicide attempts, discusions of past abuse and violence.

Chapter 1

“I don’t understand what is wrong with her.”

“She is in mourning David!” Snow hissed, hoping her daughter lying on the couch in the living room did not hear her idiot husband. As much as she loved David, Snow secretly felt sometimes Regina made valid points in regards to his grasp on the obvious.

“I know that Snow, but she hasn’t moved from that couch in days. She just lies there and stares at the ceiling. She hasn’t cried since Killian’s body was taken by the medics, she hasn’t spoken, she refuses to eat and she refuses to talk, to anyone! This cannot be normal. It’s like she isn’t even there. C’mon Snow, you have to admit this is strange.” David whispered back, not that Emma had given any response since Hook had died. Snow left her for a bit to take care of Neal and David was unable to come right over to relieve her due to a minor car accident he was called to and Granny had seen Emma walk into Gold’s shop. She came out ten minutes later and returned to the house as David was arriving. Walking past him without a word, almost like a lifeless zombie, she lay back on the couch and continued her observation of the ceiling. The house that was supposed to belong to her and Hook. The house that held Excalibur in the basement not long ago. The house where she tried to remove the darkness from Hook and place it in Zelena, who she then planned to murder.

“Look she needs … I mean she won’t even speak to Regina or Henry! She only gets up to go to the bathroom which isn’t much considering she doesn’t eat or drink. You realize we are going to have to start feeding our 30 year old daughter if she doesn’t start doing it for herself.”

“Then that is what I will do, David! I have let her down too many times in the past. If I have to spoon feed her I will.”

David took a deep breath and came to peace with the fact that he wasn’t going to win this argument. It wasn’t that he did not want to take care of Emma, he just felt they were going about it the wrong way. Giving her space wasn’t working, hovering over her wasn’t working. She needed to cry, to scream like she had when forced to kill Hook. Instead she had gone into a near catatonic state, one which was lasting longer than any had thought.

David was scared. Snow was as well but she was convinced with love and patience, Emma would be fine. This was her daughter. Emma always came back strong. She came back from her childhood, Neal’s death, the alternate universe tha Author sent them to. She had fought so many battles and always came out on top. Even as the Dark One, everything she did was for Killian.

Now she had lost love once again. Snow’s heart broke every second of the day. Why couldn’t the woman who brought back happy endings have one for herself? How much more would her daughter have to suffer in this world because of bad decisions Snow made in the past? As much as she loved Regina, if Snow had allowed her to be executed none of this would have happened. If she had kept Emma with her, found another way, found somewhere safe. If Blue hadn’t lied to her about being able to go through the wardrobe with Emma, to protect Gepato, things would have been so much different. Emma felt abandoned not just in her pre Storybrooke past but even while she was here. She felt replaced by her younger brother, unloved and nearly driven to the Snow Queen because of her parent’s fear of her magic, abandoned by Henry in some ways, although Snow would never call him on it. In unguarded moments, mostly after Emma had been drinking, she mentioned to Snow how angry she was that Henry accepted Neal so readily in his life, knowing what the man did to her.

Emma had so many demons and perhaps David was right. Maybe this wasn’t natural. She looked like …

Emma looked beaten and lifeless. Snow had seen her upset, depressed, angry, happy, in love, but she had never seen her beaten. Even in Neverland when things looked their worst, had she looked beaten. Tired and frustrated, worried yes, but not this utterly lifeless countenance she displayed now.

A cloud of purple smoke and Regina materialized in the kitchen next to Snow. Snow was so worried she didn’t even mind the shock or respond to it as she usually did.

“Any luck?” David asked.

“No. Gold refused to say what he and Emma talked about. He said it was personal. I threatened him but he knew I wouldn’t do anything. Imp invited me to do my worst and oh how I wanted to.”

“That is strange. The only time Emma walked away from this house was to see him. Do you think she could still be feeling the affects of the darkness?” the David asked.

“Until she talks we have no way of knowing.”

Regina was frustrated but the same as Snow, Henry and David she was frightened as well. Emma had always been strong, the one person who challenged her, who fought toe to toe against her and by her side and never once showed an ounce of fear. Regina also had accepted long ago that she loved Emma. But with Hook and the book showing her that Robin was her… it made no sense. The feelings never made any sense but she put them aside. She focused on being her best friend and yet Regina had done nothing to help her. Albeit she had been at a disadvantage without her memories but it hurt her quite a bit that Emma did not trust her with the truth. She had sacrificed herself for Regina, given her the dagger and trusted her with the Dark One’s existence, but the Mayor still felt she let her down. Regina was supposed to be the savior while Emma was cursed. Instead she let the blonde lose Jones, a man who despite the things he did to hurt Emma and her family, did the right thing at the end.

“Henry wants to know if she will be at Hook’s funeral tommorrow. Has she said anything about it?” Regina asked.

“She hasn’t said anything Regina.” Snow answered. “Only Gold has spoken to her and since he isn’t the Dark One any longer, I believe I will go to his shop and beat him until he answers my questions.”

“Not a bad idea but we should probably focus on getting Emma to talk to us. Has she eaten or drank anything?”

“No.” David answered.

“I could try yelling at her again?” Regina offered. Both Snow and the sheperd gave her that look, the one she usually reserved for the two when they said something particularly daft.

“Fine, then I think we should call the cricket.”

Snow and David both seemed surprised for a moment but then thoughtful.

“You are suggesting Jimminy, Regina? Aren’t you the one usually pointing out that he recieved his degree from a curse?”

“David we are out of options. The curse did give him the skills needed to be a professional therapist. We are out of our league. I couldn’t believe it when she wouldn’t talk to Henry but it was like she wasn’t even there.”

“Fine, I’ll give him a call.”

David hurried outside to speak on his cell, lest Emma overhear or pay any attention to what was happening around her.

An hour later, after an hour of unsuccesful attempts by Snow to engage Emma in any kind of conversation, Archie took over.

It only took Archie fifteen minutes to discover what the rest were still in denial about. Emma was not going to speak to anyone for a very long time, at least until she was ready and no amount of coaxing would cause her to.

“Can we step outside, but please David, stay where you can look into the door and keep an eye on her.”

Surprised by this, David did as he was told. On the porch the three circled Archie.

“Alright Hopper, what can we do to snap her out of this?” Regina demanded.

Archie sighed, having many years of experience with the former Queen.

“Regina she is not under a spell. She is most likely suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and is dealing with it by retreating into herself.”

“PTSD? From being the Dark One and then Hook… you know.” Snow finished.

Archie sighed once more, figuring honesty would be best here, even if Snow may not like the answers.

“I have never spoken to Emma in a professional capacity. I do know what I have learned from you and what I have heard. Small town gossip and her status as Princess, Savior, everything else, I have a pretty good idea of what she has gone through. Before I explain I need to ask a difficult question. David did you and Snow really banish the darkness in Emma before she was born and place it into that Lilly girl? She has made claims and…”

“Yes. We are ashamed of it but we did it.” David told him with no hesitation.   
Archie nodded his head as if he already suspected the truth to Lilly’s claims.

“If you hadn’t Emma would probably have been a violent psychotic long before she reached Storybrooke. She was probably abused as a child. I know enough about the foster system to know it isn’t kind to young pretty girls like her, who are not adopted as babies. She grew up feeling unloved and unwanted and the fact is she was unloved and unwanted. There has no doubt been physical abuse and possible sexual abuse.”

Snow flinched at this possibility but Archie continued.

“The emotional turmoil of being set up by her first love and sent to prison, pregnant with his child must have been horrible, not helped by the fact that it came to light in vivid detal when she arrived in Storybrooke.” 

Archie did not look at Regina but she felt punched in the stomach regardless.

“The damage to her psyche caused by abandoning a baby the way she believed she was abandoned, then to meet the father years later, only for him to die with so many unresolved feelings would have been particularly helpful. She never got closure in Neal’s case. Take into account everything that has happened to her since she has been in Storybrooke. Finding Henry, finding her parents, the same age as she is no less, not knowing exactly where she fit in, the Enchanted Forest trip, Neverland, Neal’s fiancee, the time traveling and seeing what she believed to be Snow’s death. Coming back only to lose her powers due to Zelena, The Author and killing Cruella. Nearly killing Lilly, correct Regina?”

Regina said nothing.

“Then she sacrifices her own happiness for Regina, leaving the one person she believes loves her the most, to save the other person she loves.”

Regina moved to say something but Hopper held up his hand.

“Save it Regina. Everyone in town knew she loved Hook but she loved you as well. Probably more because she gave her life for you. Hook, the one whose life she saved, turns on her, blames her for trying to save his life, and then proceeds to attempt to kill those she loves, finally begs her to kill him, which she has to do to save you all. Quite frankly in my professional opinion she is losing the will to live and should be considered suicidal. At the very least she is undergoing a severe nervous breakdown.”

All three objected to the idea that someone as strong as Emma would be suicidal, but Archie would have none of it.

“I am not saying she is going to try and kill herself! I am saying that someone in her position, who has been hurt as much as she has, has undergone so many battles and experienced so much grief in the past, especially having her entire belief system changed in the last couple years, is in danger of acting irrationally. She may have given up, and you should all be aware of the possibility that she could harm herself. Every single time she has opened herself up to another person it ends in tragedy.”

“So we watch her. Again Bug, how long can this last?”

“How long did it take you to get the despair and rage out Regina?” Archie asked pointedly. Regina paled but did not answer.

“Keep trying to get her to open up. I can try each day but if she isn’t talking to any of you she certainly won’t talk to me. We have to get her speaking before she can get any help. At that point she will need intensive therapy and still won’t be the person she was before. I doubt Emma will ever be the woman we knew before but she can get better, learn to find some happiness in her life. The process will be long. If we had an inpatient facility I would recommend sending her there but since we don’t …” Archie finished with a shrug of the shoulders. 

Archie turned away before David’s hand stopped him.

“Is there any medication we can give her? Do we need to take her out of Storybrooke to get help? I’ll take her anywhere. The curse she cast is over, we can leave the town.The scroll can get us back in. Even without it I will take her. I will take her anywhere and stay with her.”

“I will continue to monitor her this week, David. If I believe she needs it I will find a facility and go with you. For now just hope for the best. You should also know she won’t be attending Hook’s funeral tommorrow. I have strong doubts at least. Granny mentioned she spoke to Gold?”

“Yes.” Regina answered.

“It is important to know what was said. I need to know. It could be the key to helping her come out of the fugue state she is in now.”

Regina sat on the recliner across from the sofa Emma lay on, Emma’s eyes were open as always, blinking occasionally. She shifted every few minutes slightly, her fingers interlaced with each other across her torso flexed and wiggled. If one didn’t know better, at first glance, Emma could just be waking from a nap, or deep in thought.

“Emma please just say something.” 

“You need to go home Regina.”

Regina was so accustomed to the silence, the words did not register at first. Once they did Regina’s heartrate increased while she did her best to stay calm.

“Emma? You are going to … I mean you can …”

“Of course I can talk. I just haven’t felt like it. I still don’t. Go home Regina. I gave up everything so you could be happy, be a wife and mother, now go do it. Leave me alone. No matter how much Snow might have wished it before she had my brother, I am not a child nor do I require babysitting.”

“I … I think I will stay here regardless, Miss Swan. I’m becoming quite fond of this place.”

“Regina, I am going to tell you something and then you are to go home. Do not let Henry near Gold. He tricked us Regina. Hook thought he was destroying the darkness when I killed him but Gold tricked us. He did something to Excalibur. I’m not even sure what or how but the dagger called out to me. I followed its call to Gold’s shop. He showed me the dagger. HIs name is on it. The bastard admitted that he tricked us because he wanted the darkness back. He seems to think he is more powerful than ever, although I can’t see his reasoning. The power of all the Dark Ones has always resided in that dagger. He is dangerous Regina. Let Belle know and stay away from him.”

Regina’s blood boiled. Of course, that would be why Gold would not tell her about his conversation with Emma.

That fucking bastard.

“I’m going to kill him.” Regina hissed. 

“And become the Dark One yourself? Isn’t that what I have given up my life to prevent? Go home to Robin. Raise his kid, keep being the great mom you are to Henry, just go. Go be with your family.”

“You are my family as well. Henry is on his way to visit you and I will find that damn imp …”

“It is midnight! No one is visiting me! I want you out now!”

For the first time that day Emma Swan stood. The lightbulbs in the room shattered and the walls began to shake.

Regina was not impressed.

“I’m not leaving you…”

Before she finished the statement, Regina found herself in her home. Henry and Robin were sitting on the floor of the living room looking at the baby in Henry’s arms and both nearly stood when she poofed in front of them, grey smoke surrounding her.

“Mom? I thought you were going to be with Emma tonight?” 

“I was. She kicked me out.” Regina said quietly, taking in her new location. It had been many, many years since another sorceress had been able to teleport her without consent. The power she just felt from Emma rivaled what she felt eminating from her as the Dark One.

“She is talking? Thats great news! I … wait, how did she kick you out? Why did you leave?”

“I didn’t leaveHenry, she literally kicked me out and sent me here. I need to see Snow and David. Robin stay with Henry and the two of you do not leave this house. According to Emma, Gold is the Dark One again. Who knows what he is up to.”

“Grandpa …”

“Do not call him that, Henry!” Regina screamed, causing the baby to cry.

“But he…”

“Your father left Emma in prison to rot for his crime and when she found him, you couldn’t call him Dad fast enough. Did you ever think about that? She told you he was dead for a reason, because he was dead to her! What has Rumple ever done that you think he deserves to be called a grandfather? He fathered and abandoned the man who would father you and then abandon you and your mother.”

Henry was shocked by Regina’s outburst but did his best not to show it. His mother was obviously emoional right now.

“I’m sorry Mom. I won’t call him that. But maybe he isn’t up to anything. I mean he has been the Dark One as long as anyone can remember and he helped in Neverland, he …”

“Henry, that man is the one who caused the alternate reality, the one I died in, the one he tried to kill you in, remember? He told the Author what to write to save his own black heart from dying. Do you realize how dark a heart must be to kill a supposedly immortal being? He is given an undeserved second chance with a new heart and what does he do with it? The first opportunity to take his power back, he takes it. At the time he thought Emma was going to kill herself with Excalibur to save us. He was going to take advantage of her sacrifice for his own gains. If you ever speak kindly of that man in this house again, I will help you pack your bags and drive you to his house myself.”

Robin and Henry were struck silent. Regina had never spoken to Henry in this way. She was trembling, angry, hurt, worried and pacing. Robin prayed the baby would stop crying so Regina would not become even more agitated.

“I have to get back to her. Call Snow and David and tell them to meet me there. Henry do not leave this house! No more sneaking around and trying to be a hero on your own. You do not want to cross me on this.”

Without waiting for a response, Regina teleported herself to Emma’s house.

Only to find herself outside the gate. She tried to walk through the gate and was thrown to the ground by a shield, nearly as strong as the one Emma had erected to keep her out when she kidnapped Zelena.

“Emma! Let me in damn it!”

Regina tried to push past the border, using every bit of magic she could muster to break it. Twenty minutes went by with no luck. The border was weakening but so was Regina.

“This is ridiculous. Emma I know you can hear me. Open this damn shield now! If I have to waste anymore time and energy on it, you will regret it when I break through. You know I will. I don’t quit, Emma!”

Regina’s rant was stopped short by David’s truck slamming to a stop on the street. Snow and David ran out to stand by Regina.

“Henry called you?”

“Yes but we … do … did Emma say anything about letters?” Snow asked, eyes never leaving the house.

“Letters?”

“Yes. Right before Henry called I noticed some letters on the counter. There were three, one for you, one for Henry and one for David and I. It was Emma’s handwriting on the envelopes.”

“Did you read them?”

“No, Henry called and I was excited about Emma even talking and then … I realized she must have used magic to get these letters to us. I don’t even know when she would have had time to write. Should I read them or ask …”

“Read the damn letter, Snow!”

Snow nodded and the Queen saw her eyes. Snow had not opened the letters because she was afraid of what might be inside.

“Snow she is alive. The barrier would not be up if not for her magic keeping it up. Just read the letter.” Regina told her in a softer voice, trying to allay her fears and wanting to know what the damn letter said.

David stood over Snow and the two read the letter using the flashlight on David’s phone.

Even in the dark Regina saw Snow pale.

“It’s a suicide letter, Regina.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Emma would not do that no matter what the bug said.” Regina told her, trying to hide the doubt in her voice. 

But the doubt was there. Still Emma must be alive…

“David her service weapon is not inside, is it?”

“No. It has been at the station this whole time. It’s not like she has comeback to work since all this …”

Charming stopped speaking when they all saw the first flicker of light in the window.

Then a flash seen through the kitchen window. Upstairs a whoosh and a sudden blaze. 

Before their eyes Emma’s house lit up in flames, engulfed in every corner. David ran to the invisible border and was repelled back into the street.

“Regina, break through!” Snow cried. 

Regina took her panic, her despair and even her rage at what Emma was trying to do and focused every bit of it towards Emma’s shield. Magic was emotion and Regina had seldom if ever been more emotional than right now.

The border flashed, rippled, sizzled and after what felt like a lifetime but was actually ten seconds exploded in a flash of orange and was gone.

Regina tried to run towards the house and collapsed after the first step, her energy gone after counteracting the barrier spell. Snow caught her while David rushed the house, kicking in the front door and running headfirst into the inferno the woodframed house had turned into. Regina and Snow held each other and waited. Other residents of the block came out, sirens were heard in the distance, but Regina and Snow only had eyes for the Prince and his Princess.

David ran out of the fire, with Emma in his arms, as the second story collapsed onto the first seconds later. David could barely breathe due to the smoke he inhaled and Emma was unconscious.

“Is she alive?!” Snow cried out while grabbing her daugher and checking her throat for a pulse.

“Yes. She was just lying on the couch but flames were all around her. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing smoke. It took me a while to find her. The house didn’t seem so big but I had to feel my way around. Was I too late?”

“No, she is alive but she needs care immediately.” Regina grabbed Emma and tried to teleport them to a hospital, but was unable to.

“Damn it! I don’t have enough… damn it!”

“Its okay Regina. The ambulance is here. David and Emma both need to be taken care of. Let me drive you to the hospital okay? David you are going to stay with her right?”

“I won’t leave her.” David gasped, covered in soot, eyes red and trying to breathe as much oxygen in as possible.

Snow and Regina watched as the Savior, was loaded with her father into the back of an ambulance.

“We need to go. Do you want to call Henry, Regina?”

“No, lets just get to the hospital. We need to make sure she is safe and then …”

“Then what? Thats all that matters right now Regina.”

“No Snow, that is not all that matters. As soon as we know she is safe the two of us are going to have a discussion with Belle. It’s time she knew what kind of man she was married to, again.”

“What do you mean? What about Gold? What… no…”

“Yes Snow. He is the Dark One. Emma knew. The dagger has been calling to her because it never went away, it just went back into his slimy hands. I will destroy him Snow. No matter what happens to me, I will destroy him, even if it means taking the one thing he has left to love and turning it against him. If he wants to be immortal to avoid hell I will bring hell to earth.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snow and Emma visit with the Dark One and his wife.

I do not own OUAT or make any money off of it. Thanks for the kudos and the comments. I’ve never written OUAT before so this is a new experience for me. As far as plot this will be a more character driven narrative instead of a great adventure, I hope it will be interesting but it will be dark and character deaths will happen. We have seen mostlyRegina’s point of view but we will also see Emma, Snow, Charming and a few guest appearances by Elsa maybe and Lilly. Also this does not have a beta, but if anyone has experience beta’ing in OUAT and wants to help out contact me. I am new to AO3 but like what I am seeing so far. 

Chapter 2

“How is she?” Snow asked David, who was standing outside the door of the ER room Emma was now being treated in. He had an oxygen mask held to his face by a burse but his eyes never left Emma.

“They are putting some sort of breathing tube down her throat. Whale said something about carbon monoxide poisoning and … I don’t know Snow. I’m … I don’t know. Why didn’t … why would she do this? I mean this? I didn’t believe Archie even though I could see what he was getting at but Emma has always been so strong.”

Regina stood behind Snow, her eyes leaving Emma at the sound of David’s broken voice. The man had tears in his eyes and Regina felt hers welling up as welll. Snow had not stopped crying since they began the drive to the hospital. Regina had wanted desperately to fireball Gold’s house immediately but the draw to Emma was greater.

“Regina!”

“Mom!”

The Queen turned to find her son with her … lover… that sounded wrong but she supposed that was what he could be called, running towards her. Henry looked devastated. Robin simply looked concerned. She would have expected a bit more panic from him considering he would be dead now if not for Emma.

Henry rushed into Regina’s arms and then pulled away, attempting to run into Emma’s room before David’s hand stopped him.

“Let them work, Henry.”

“Is she okay? Why does she have that tube down her throat? Can she not breathe? Who set her house on fire? Why couldn’t she get away? Did someone use the cuff on her again? I didn’t check my room to see if it was still where I hid it.”

“Henry, you have the cuff?” Regina asked, surprised.

“Yeah, when we discovered the Dream Catchers, I used squid ink to take it off of her. I guess with everything else going on we never really had a chance to talk about it but I put it in my room.”

“Robin, in a bit can you take Henry to the house to retrieve the cuff? I believe we are going to need it.”

“Why Mom? For Mr. Gold right? He tried to kill Ma? How do you plan to get it on him? I can get close enough I think…”

“Its not for Gold, Henry. Why don’t you walk over here with me and lets have a seat. I need to tell you whats going on.”

Robin placed his hand on Regina’s shoulder but she jerked away, then immediately realized what she had done.

“I’m sorry Robin, I’m just a bit keyed up. I need to talk to Henry alone.”

“Of course milady.”

Regina guided her son to one of the waiting room chairs. As soon as he sat though, Regina could see the truth in his eyes. He knew.

“She tried to kill herself didn’t she? That’s why she sent you away? What happened?”

Taking a deep breath, not easy considering her own physically drained state, she went for what Henry would appreciate the most, blunt truth.

“When I tried to return, I was only outside her yard instead of inside the house like I intended. She cast a barrier spell around the house. David and Snow showed up after talking to you. They also found some letters that magically made their way onto Snow’s counter. There was a letter for the two of them, one for me and one for you. Before you ask, I will not let you read that letter until I have read it. I know it is yours but you are going to have to trust me on this. Emma is not in a good state of mind right now obviously. I haven’t read mine either. Snow read hers and found it was a suicide note. While I was trying to get into the yard, we saw fires being lit all over the house. It looked as if she was walking through the house fireballing everything.I managed to break the barrier and David found her surrounded by flames lying on the couch. He saved her but he took in quite a bit of smoke and she inhaled even more. Breathing in that much smoke is very dangerous and Emma is in great danger right now.”

“Why would she do this? I know she is hurting but she had us. She had all of us. Why would she try to leave us?”

“Henry, Emma has been through a great many terrible things, before and after Storybrooke. She will get help, I will make sure…”

“If she doesn’t die.” Henry’s voice was broken and his eyes filled with tears.

“She won’t die! As soon as I have my strength back I will try to heal her or force Blue to heal her. She is not going to die, I will not allow it. But we have to be strong for her now. I know we are both used to her standing on her own, but she can’t do that right now, Henry. There was a time in my life, before you, before her, before the curse even, that I felt what she is feeling right now. No hope, only tragedy, only pain. I refuse to let her take the same path I did.”

“I thought the darkness in her was gone.”

Regina sighed. Henry was so loving and brave but he had lead a fairly sheltered life. He was beginning to understand that not all things could be divided between good and evil but he had a ways to go.

“Henry not all darkness needs a dagger. It isn’t something you are born with, it is something that grows in time, the more life takes from you the more you either take back or give up. We all have a breaking point. I reached mine and hundreds, perhaps thousands, died because of it. Everyone in this realm and some others were ripped from their lives and given false ones, all because I reached my breaking point. Rumple had a hand in that as did my mother but I was the one who broke. Rumple has had a hand in Emma reaching her breaking point. The difference between myself and Emma was while I lashed out at the world, she lashed out at herself.”

“I shouldn’t have brought her here.”

“What?” Regina was surprised by this turn.

“I shouldn’t have brought her here. I brought her here because I wanted the curse to break and everyone to be happy, and she did that, everyone but her. I should have just let it be.”

“Henry you don’t mean that.”

“Yes I do. I forced my way into her life and now look at what she has gone through. I know she was under the influence of the Dark One when she tore Violet’s heart out and I still turned her away, wouldn’t even talk to her when she tried to see me. I never should have brought her here.”

‘Henry, Emma was not happy before you came into her life. She was alone and everyone, myself included, was miserable. Because of what you did…”

“She could have found somebody. Maybe she would have found someone to open up to eventually. Maybe she could have had a normal life, have a kid she didn’t have to give up to save from a life she didn’t think I deserved. I don’t know, I just know this is my fault.”

“It is not your fault. The darkness was loose because of Rumple, the dagger called to her because of his trickery, probably pushing her farther over the edge. Everything he has done to me, to your grandparents, manipulated me into casting this damn curse, getting them to trade strands of their own hair so he could write Emma into the curse before she was ever conceived, all in some plan to get back to his boy, none of us ever stood a chance Henry. He is the most evil, vile person who has ever existed and I will find a way to ruin him but never think this is your fault. This started the day he let Baelfire drop into that portal alone because he was to afraid to live without magic.”

“You want the cuff for him?”

“No, I want it for Emma.”

“Why?”

“Because she is strong, Henry. She has always possessed amazing raw magical strength even without the Dark One’s power. But her experience has given her perfect control of her magic and if she had not been weakening due to smoke inhalation I may not have been able to break her spell. She won’t make the same mistake next time. We have to keep her from hurting herself until she can get the help she needs. So I need you to go with Robin and get me that cuff.”

“I understand. What are you going to do about Gold?”

“Let me worry about that. I won’t try to take the dagger by force, I can’t, but he has to be contained and I will punish him. None of us, especially Emma, are safe with him having free reign. You understand, right?”

“I just don’t want you hurt, Mom.”

“I won’t. I won’t leave you and I won’t let Emma. She is the most important thing now.”

“What do you mean you won’t help her?!” a voice shouted behind them.

Regina and Henry looked quickly at Snow who was screaming at Blue of all things. When had the insect arrived?

“What is going on?” Regina asked, feeling more comfortable with someone she despised in her sight.

“Emma can’t breathe on her own. I told her you were weak from allowing us to get to her and Blue refuses to heal her!”

“Blue?” Regina addressed her, raising an eyebrow.

“I cannot help the princess. She may not be the Dark One any longer but her heart is still dark. I am sorry Snow.”

“If you can’t help her why the hell are you here?” Regina asked sharply, advancing into Blue’s space and please to see the insect shrink back.

“I heard, the whole town has heard about the fire already, and I came to support my Goddaughter.”

“So you had no problem giving someone as vile and evil as Rumple a new heart after all the wickedness he has done but you won’t help Emma, you sanctimonious bitch?! Do you know what he has done with that heart? He became the Dark One again!”

“I… I didn’t realize that. I suppose it was a mistake to help him. A mistake I won’t repeat here.”

Regina lifted Blue with magic and watched her throat squeeze with her feet dangling. She waited for Snow to object, only to glance over and see an absolute look of fury on her former step daughter’s face directed at the Blue Fairy.

With a flick of her wrist, Regina threw Blue across the room into a far wall. The fairy crumbled and did not try to get up. It was David who knelt by her.

“Blue you have always assisted our kingdom and Snow’s family. The royal family you swore allegiance to.”

“I will not change my mind, King James.”

“I prefer Charming or David and I don’t expect you to change your mind. The only person I trust enough to use magic on my daughter is Regina. Know from this point on you are banished from the royal court and any councils now and in the future whether they be here or in the Enchanted Forest.”

“You cannot do that!”

“I’m King right? I can do whatever the hell I want and I’m pretty sure I just did. If my daughter dies you can consider your kind at war with us. A war I am sure Regina has wanted to fight for a very long time. Leave this hospital and never speak to any of us again.”

“Snow, you will allow this travesty to…”

“Get the hell away from me, Blue. Stay away from my family. Emma told me once that there are no fairy godmothers in this world. You just proved how right she was.”

Blue appeared ready to speak but thought better of it when Regina stepped closer. A flash of light and she was gone.

Regina turned back to Emma’s room but felt feint and nearly collapsed, only to have Robin catch her.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have used that bit of magic. I am too drained but I couldn’t help myself.” Regina let Robin and Henry help her to a chair but she still felt unease at Robin’s touch. There was no reason she should but it seemed wrong with Emma near. The Queen had enough on her mind right now to delve to deeply into those feelings.

“Robin, where are Roland and the baby?”

“Granny has them, dear.”

“Please take Henry home to retrieve the cuff and bring him back, then collect the children and take them to the mansion. There is no reason for you to be here and I am sure Granny would like to be here as well.”

“But…”

“Robin I need you to do as I ask.” Regina’s tone left no room for argument.

“Of course. Come along Henry.”

“Mom? What if she… I mean…”

“You will be right back Henry and I promise nothing will happen to her. But if she wakes up and her powers aren’t nullified I have no way of preventing her from harming herself or anyone around her. It is important. Be careful, be quick and stay low. Now hurry back.”

Henry wiped his eyes and allowed Robin to walk him out. Regina closed her eyes and tried to center herself. She always needed to be in control and was in an absolute tailspin now.

“Regina, the nurses are walking out of her room.” Snow whispered. Regina stood as quickly as possible, wobbling a bit but steadied with David’s aid.

“How is she, Whale?” the Prince asked.

“She is not good but I think she has a chance of recovery. Why wasn’t she able to get out before inhaling so much smoke? Was she injured before the fire or while trying to escape?”

“She … probably was asleep and overcome with smoke before she even woke. I found her on the couch.” David offered.

“No.” Snow spoke up, deterimination on her face. “I am not losing her because of some attempt to save face. Listen to me Whale and listen closely. Emma has been having a difficult time with everything and has been very depressed. She tried to kill herself. This is as far as it goes. I am sure it will be all over Storybrooke soon enough but I could care less. Pray that I don’t track any of these rumors to you. She needs to be under constant survellience meaning one or more of us will be here around the clock by her side. She may need to be restrained and we will do so, no one else, if it is necessary. Archie will determine what she needs as far as care once she is awake and doing better. How long until she can breathe on her own?”

Whale had not had much experience with Snow White. Mary Margaret Blanchard he knew well, Snow White, bandit, queen and protective mother, he had never dealt with.

“If we can improve her oxygen level, I am hoping by tommorrow. She can breathe on her own but without the constant influx of pure oxygen her blood could become poisoned. It is a step by step process. I will keep her sedated during this whole process so Dr. Hopper can have time to formulate a treatment plan in conjunction with mine. I promise you, while we have had issues in the past, with your husband hitting me and your daughter throwing me into a wall, I take my oath very seriously, especially in regard to doctor patient confidentiality. You have my word, Mary Margaret. You both do.”

David nodded and Regina relaxed a bit, in her sadness, rage and worry over Emma she also felt a bit of pride in Snow. This was the woman who was her adversary in the past. Loving but strong, never backing down no matter what.

“Thank you Doctor. Can we sit with her?”

“Of course. I will have some an extra chair brought in. Give me an hour and we can have her moved to a larger room, The equipment will need to be prepped for transport.

The three sat, joined an hour later by Henry who had brought the cuff. They all sat in silence, next to Emma’s bed and followed her to the room prepared by Whale. None said a word, Snow’s thoughts betrayed by the tears constantly streaming down her face, David’s face stoic and still covered in smoke residue and Henry with the saddest look Regina had ever seen on him. Not even when he learned of Neal’s death did he look this sad.

As the sun rose, Regina looked at Snow who wiped her eyes one last time and nodded.

“David we need you to stay here with Emma and Henry.”

“No Snow. I know what needs to be done and I will deal with him.”

“You can’t David.” Regina told him softly. “We can’t defeat him or contain him, not yet. But he will be punished. I will find some way to get that dagger and force him from Storybrooke forever. Once he is outside the border he is … weak and all ours. But first we need to hurt him a bit. It’s time we let Bella in on a few facts. She won’t listen to me but she will believe Snow. Stay with her. If she wakes up, she is… she could be a lot to handle. This is still Emma and I have a feeling even without magic, she can beat up 90% of the population even in her weakened state. Perhaps even more so because of it.”

“So the cuff?” David asked. Regina nodded and stood, taking Emma’s wrist and tenderly placing it on her once again.

“As soon as she is okay it will come off David. I know you hate doing this but…”

“I’ll do whatever is necessary to protect her from herself. For once in my life I would like to protect her from something.”

“You saved her life darling.” Snow reminded him. He said nothing so the two left.

At his shop the old and new Dark One was enjoying quite the morning. News of course had gotten all over Storybrooke about the Sheriff’s unfortunate housefire. He had been a bit worried about her response to learning of his trickery. She had been so angry and then almost passive, broken even. Gold never expected her to kill herself, and though he had nothing against Emma, even with what she had done as the Dark One to him and Belle, (for who was he to judge) the idea of having a former Dark One still alive worried him. He was also worried about her spilling his secret to Belle. If Emma had been refusing to talk and then burned her house down around herself it was unlikely anyone in Storybrooke knew what he had done. He did need to confirm if she had indeed successfully committed suicide. Rumors at Granny’s this morning ranged from those who saw the Prince carry his still burning daughter out of the house, to her survival, to those who swore she was on life support at the hospital and only waiting for Snow to make the decision to end all efforts to revive her. Any of these scenarios worked in his favor except survival.

Of course the door blowing off the hinges, followed by the sound of a heels belonging to a very tired and angry Regina Mills blew away any hopes that Emma had not told anyone. It didn’t matter. Regina may like to think she has changed but she was and always would be what he made her. She would see this as an advantage and use the knowledge to get something she wanted, while he manipulated her wants for his own gain. It was a game played many times between the two and he never lost. The student would never surpass the teacher.

“And a good morning to you as well, Dearie. There was no need to burst the door open quite rudely, but I understand you have had quite the long night? Some trouble at Miss Swan’s residence I understand?”

“You know why I am here so just cut the crap right now, Gold. What the hell is wrong with you? You were given a second chance and you actively sought to be the Dark One again? What happened to being a better man for Belle?”

“I honestly don’t know what you are rambling about dear. I am a simple man now trying to get on with my life.”

“So if I pin you to a wall while I search this so called antique shop for a dagger that should be gone I won’t find it and it definitely wouldn’t have your name on it? Then I think I will help myself.”

Regina reached out, vines descending from the ceiling before a flick of Rumple’s finger stopped them.

“No need to be dramatic dear. Now tell me does the former Dark One live? Its becoming a habit, one I am glad I started and one I am disappointed she has continued. It would be interesting to see what the pull of the dagger will do to her. Of course I guess I know, don’t I? I can’t imagine that was a fire caused by natural causes and since I have no election campaigns to run for anyone that leaves only Emma as the potential arsonist. Suicide by fire. I must say I am surprised. She always struck me as more of a drink a bottle of whiskey and shoot herself in the head kind of woman. I suppose your flair for the dramatic is rubbing off on her. So is she alive or well done?”

A victorious, evil grin graced Regina’s face, despite her obvious rage, causing Gold to take a moment. She was playing an angle but what?

“You are a monster. You are the devil himself.”

Gold turned to the sound of his lovely wife’s voice, hiw wife who should have been at the library and instead walked quietlyinto the back of the shop. She had a look of utter revulsion on her face, matched by the revulsion and hatred of the woman next to her. Snow White.

“Belle.…”

“No. No Rumple. I have given you chance after chance and you told me you changed!”

“You said you didn’t love me! You left me! I offered to change and you left me! I only wanted you and when you were gone I had nothing else! What did you expect me to do?”

“Change because it was who you wanted to be, not I wanted you to be. You are still a coward. I thought you were heroic. I really thought…”

“Belle the darkness does not go away! It is as much a part of the world as the light! One cannot exist without the other. If I didn’t take it someone else would!”

“It would have gone to hell where Hook tried to take it! Where it belonged! You bastard!”

Rumple for the first time since he had resumed the dark mantle panicked and felt his world crumbling around him once again. It was not supposed to be this way. Regina Mills and Snow White, as always not behaving as they are supposed to.

“Belle please, what can I do? I will do anything. I knew you would be upset but I had to do this. You saw what Emma did as the Dark One. She obviously couldn’t control it…”

“Emma could have killed us both a dozen times over. She killed no one while she was the Dark One. Yes she did control and manipulate, but we knew that could happen and she tried to get rid of the darkness. You knew it could happen, that it had happened and you took it back anyway.”

“I am the only one who can control it!”

“And who controls you? Who do you answer too?”

“You! I answer to you and only to you!”

Belle searched his face for honesty and found none. After so much of her life wasted trying to see the good in him, past the darkness, she should have known. There was never any good to begin with. Just a cowardly boy being given a gun he was too immature to play with.

“If you answer to me then give me the dagger. You did it when we married. If you want me to believe you, then give me the dagger. Not a fake one either. Yes I know.”

Gold hesistated, glancing at Regina who was still smirking, too much glee in her eyes.

“If I give you the dagger you will be a target for these two. They blame me for Emma’s death and I had nothing to do with it.”

“Emma isn’t dead.” Snow told him, her voice cold and steady. “And I do not want the dagger, nor does Regina. I would feel comfortable with Belle having the dagger. I can trust her. Regina and I are only concerned with Emma.”

“And if I don’t give her the dagger?” Rumple asked, though it sounded more as a challenge.

“Rumple there is a reason the Dark Ones have never conquered a kingdom, being pawns to kings themselves instead.” Snow calmly informed him. “The populace would rise, kingdoms would unite and every magical being in the realms would strive to stop you. You are powerful but you are not a god. If you don’t give her the dagger you lose Belle, and Regina, the fairies, and anyone else we can find who knows how to use a weapon or magic will not stop until you are contained. We imprisoned you once, don’t think it can’t happen again.”

Rumple stepped back away from Snow, his face falling a bit. Place his life in Belle’s hands or be forced to wage war and potentially kill everyone in Storybrooke?

“Henry is the only blood relative you have left Rumple. He knows as well. What would Baelfire think of you now? He spent his entire life ashamed of you and now he has to be ashamed of you watching from above? He loved Emma and he loved Henry and this is what he sees you doing?” Snow pointed out.

“FIne! If I give you the dagger, you will stay Belle? That will prove to you that I have no evil plan, no hidden agenda? I can explain why I had to do this?”

Love is weakness, Cora’s voice sang in the back of his mind. Belle made him weak, she always did. 

“Yes Rumple, it would be a start. Snow will not rally the town to burn down our house with torches.”

Rummple surrendered. Without Belle, all he had was the darkness. He took it when he thought her gone but now she was back and fate had once again been cruel to him. 

Rumple slowly reached into the drawer under the countertop and pulled out the wooden box, protected by his magic.

“For this to happen I need you both to leave. I will only give this to Belle alone.”

“No! I need Regina to make sure you won’t be giving me a fake dagger again.” Belle told him, no room for argument.

“She can physically take it from you! Snow certainly can!” Rumple argued.

“I have given Belle my word, neither I or Regina will ever attempt to take the dagger from her by force.” Snow told him.

“Your word? What is that supposed to mean?” Gold asked bitterly.

“Its worth more than yours” Regina told him.

“Fine, take it Belle. My life is in your hands. Do with it what you well.” Gold thrust the dagger into her hand before he could think about it more. It went against his nature but if he had any chance of salvaging his marriage this would be it. Last time he had done this, it resulted in Belle forcing him from Storybrooke. He hoped this time she would listen. 

She did neither. She neither forced him to leave or listened. His wife handed the dagger over to Snow White.

“Belle!

“What?” she asked bitterly. “I’m tired of being responsible for you.”

“What are you doing? Snow, you gave your word! You lying bit…”

“I gave my word that I would never take it from her by force. If she wants me to take it I will. You should know when making an agreement, the devil is in the details, Dark One.”

“I’ll be leaving now. I have things to do. Mainly packing.” Belle told her, her face no longer sad but angry, glaring at her husband. 

“When you are ready to return, call me and we will give you the scroll at the border.”

“I’m not sure I will, Snow.”

“I understand but you can always come home. You have his cards and accounts correct?”

“Yes. Do you really think I should…”

“Consider it the wages he never paid you for cleaning that damn dark palace of his and putting up with him all these years. Take care Belle.”

“Just contain him Snow. I don’t want the darkness hurting anyone else.”

“I promise Belle, his days of harming others are done.”

Belle hugged Snow and wished Emma well. She then walked out of Rumple’s life. This time he knew, for good.

The three were alone, Regina walking to stand side by side with Snow while Rumple prepared for the worst.

“Well played you two. Now what do you have planned for me dear Snow White? Do you even have a clue or was this as far as you got in your revenge for your broken child?”

“My plan is to get to Emma and be there for her. You however, are going to pay for every single thing you have ever done to my family, to Regina and to the people of the realms you terrorized and manipulated. I am an amatuer at revenge however. Regina would you mind holding on to this for me?”

One of the Dark One’s greatest fears came to fruition before his eyes as Snow White handed the Dark One’s dagger to her once greatest enemy.

Regina took the dagger in her hand. For a moment Rumple felt as if she planned to kill him and take the power for herself.

“Relax you filth. I have no desire for the darkness inside of you but Snow is right. You will pay dearly. When I am done with you I believe I will follow you out of the border of Storybrooke and kill you then leave the dagger in the land without magic. If I can’t trap dark magic in the sorcerers hat I can certainly set it free in a land where no magic exists. I doubt it would get far there. For now we have to get back to Emma. You will close up this shop permanently and stay in the back, sitting in a corner on the ground. You will remain there until I return and give you further instructions. It may be a few days. Do not move from that floor or leave this shop.”

“I will make you…”

“And stop speaking. Yes, I don’t believe I want to hear your voice any longer. Only speak when either I, David or Snow ask you a direct question and then you will answer only the question and offer no other opinion or comment.”

Gold immediately walked to the shop and closed the front while Regina and Snow walked out the back. Regina did not have to wonder if he would do as she asked. It was no longer his choice. She hoped Belle could possibly find some happiness out of this, if no one else.

“Regina what you said about killing him outside the border, do you think that will work?”

“I believe so, yes. The darkness is magic and needs magic to survive. With no magic in the world, it should be contained. That was why Gold needed magic returned to Storybrooke to regain his powers.”

“I understand what he has done to you in the past but…”

“You can be there Snow. What happens will stay between the two of us, Henry will never know unless he wantsto and I will not lie or apologize to him for it. Rumple will die. However until I can be sure what effect this dagger will have on Emma, if its closeness or nearness helps or hurts, I am wary of getting rid of the damn thing.”

“That must be it right? The reason Emma is… it has to be the dagger… right?”

Regina did not answer, and knew she didn’t need to. Emma’s problems ran much deeper than a dagger calling to her. Hopper was right, this wasn’t a spell that could be broken or a curse that could be undone with true love’s kiss. It would be a long and drawn out process, painful and full of hurt, anger, sadness and hopefully love. The Queen knew she would be there every step of the way for her. Robin could wait, everything else can wait. She would not rest until Emma was happy again. Archie was right about Emma’s feelings for Regina. Regina had always denied a deeper connection between the two, due to the hard feelings in the past and then her involvement with Robin Hood, and Emma’s subsequent involvement with Hook. She could have been Regina’s but the Queen was too afraid to go against what was supposed to be fate, too afraid of what others would say, the Savior and the Evil Queen, to afraid of hurting Emma worse than she already had been. For all of Hook’s faults, he loved her, placed her above all others. Emma loved him for it. He was probably the first to ever admit love for her and not betray her. Not much anyway. Actually he had betrayed her a few times. Despite this, she gravitated to him due to her need to be loved.

Regina knew the feeling well. Robin made her feel loved and it was nice. She hadn’t felt like that in many, many years. Emma brought out stronger feelings but it could never be. So she had thought. Recent events had proven to her that life was short.

None of this mattered now. Any unresolved feelings or what may or may not have been, what she really felt for Emma and how it compared to Robin, none of this mattered. What did matter was Emma.

She was lost and no magic would find her. Regina would though. Her stubborness was matched only by Emma’s and she did not quit.


	3. Chapter 3

Do not own OUAT 

Thanks for the comment last chapter. This is new for me and even one comment makes my day and makes me happy that I am entertaining some people. Thanks for the kudos as well. That is something I am having to get used to on AO3 and I lke it a lot.

Chapter 3

While the word around her was filled, with grief, despair, panic and tension, Emma Swan was simply existing in the dark. It was a calming darkness that she could stay in forever. She was alone. Emma was used to being alone. The darkness reminded her of the closets she used to hide in to avoid the men who had hurt her since as far back as she could remember. She had no memories of a time someone had not tried to hurt her, even those who pretended to love her. Those were the worst pains of all. She expected to be abused, used by the men who were supposed to take care of her. As a child she was a paycheck, punching bag or toy to be used by those in control of her. Not only her foster parents but those other children she lived with. The so called siblings who stole her food or blamed whatever trouble they caused on her.

All she wanted was to be loved. She had thought Lilly loved her. Despite the abuse Emma had suffered, she had never been kissed, gently at least, by anyone before Lilly. No one else had ever been interested in anything other than her body.

Lilly was softness and love and belonging. She was also a liar and that betrayal hurt. Her second betrayal hurt even worse. 

But it was nothing compared to Neal.

Emma could not decide if loving men or loving women hurt worse. She had tried both and had no success with either.

Hook loved her. He had lied and betrayed her before but despite this, the love they had was hard fought and worth it. He was supposed to be her happy ending. She knew she loved another more but Regina was the forbidden fruit. Always there but always out of reach. Never in her short life had Emma ever connected as much with anyone as she had with Regina. Despite their prickly relationship, or perhaps because of it, Emma would lay down her life for the former queen and had risked her life often.

But Hook was easier. He adored her despite their rough past and Emma became addicted. Addicted to the feeling of being wanted above all else.

Regina? Regina was the biggest proponent of Emma not using magic to free Merlin but when her precious Robin Hood was dying, she was the one who begged her to save him. Just like every other time since the curse broke, since probably before Neverland, Emma could not turn her down. She saved the bastard so Regina could be happy, even if it was without her. Emma had Hook afterall. Hook was easy and Hook would follow her to the end of the earth.

But Hook betrayed her as well. She saved him, surrending her soul completely to the darkness and how had he repayed her? Anger that she had saved his life, turning him into the same thing she was. Why was he so angry to be like her if he claimed to love her? Did he try to get rid of the darkness with her? No, he betrayed her, brought back all the Dark Ones, tried to kill her family, and planned to leave her alone. He called her pathetic, weak, unlovable.

She asked Regina to join her at Granny’s when they all thought the battle was lost.

Regina refused. She needed to take care of Robin.

Everyone refused her. Even Henry moved back in with Regina after he was done with her. She had to take the girl’s heart. She had to free Merlin. DIdn’t he understand that? When Regina stole a boy’s heart to talk to him in Neverland he never complained. Emma supposed Henry was the one who decided when they were allowed to use dark magic and on whom.

Henry was a brat. Maybe if she had kept him he would realize the world wasn’t good and evil and hard choices had to be made.

Of course her failures led to the near death of all those she loved, who she thought would love her above all else, and then Hook’s death. Only at the end did he do the right thing. She had shared something with him in Camelot that she had not shared with anyone in a long, long time. Despite what she believed everyone thought of her, Emma was not a whore. Her body had been used too often in the past and she was very careful of who she allowed access to it. It had only been one time in Camelot, after their horseback ride. So what if she thought of Regina during the experience? She gave herself to Hook and he would have rather chosen death than be with her. Of course it wasn’t Emma’s name tattooed on his wrist.

Her parent’s named her replacement after the man who betrayed her. He was a hero according to Snow. What about her? Everyone said she was a hero. How do you honor a hero who betrayed your daughter and ruined her life?

Snow and Charming could go to hell with Killian.

Emma was just fine in her darkness, by herself. No one would hurt her here. This was her Heaven. She deserved it.

August. Standing at the well, telling her everybody needed her. What about what she needed?

The Blue Fairy lying to her parents about who could go with her.

Would Snow have even gone? She was prepared to stay in Neverland with Charming, leaving Emma once again. Why would she not be cursed with hi?. She risked her life to save his in the Enchanted Forest, knowing they were coming back for Emma, pregnant at that. How selfish was she? Charming was her everything, others be damned, even her on children.

She had many regrets but not killing Gold was at the top of the list. It didn’t matter though. That life was over. Let someone else deal with the pain.

Yes, Emma loved her darkness. She was alone, perhaps alone for eternity. She would not think of these things anymore. She had burned down her world and body so no one could touch her now.

“You aren’t alone.”

No. No this couldn’t be happening! This was Emma’s death, her peace. This bitch could not be here! But she was, somehow present, somehow visible, interupting her darkness, making her see.

“You can’t be here. I’m not the Dark One any longer. I am dead and you are supposed to be with the imp. I am dead! Can’t you leave me alone now?!” she screamed at Nimue.

“I wll always be with you. You were a Dark One. A part of me, of all of us will always remain in you. Hook may have defeated us but we are eternal. We live on as long as the dagger does. I am always here.”

“No, please no. Just leave me alone, Nimue. You killed Merlin. Aren’t you happy? You still have Gold, Hook didn’t defeat you, now leave me alone!”

“You aren’t dead you stupid bitch. You can’t even kill yourself correctly. Death by fire? How dense. Something wrong with that useless gun you love so much? You could have hung yourself. Taken a knife to your heart, the same as you killed Hook.”

“Thats not true. My barrier should have held until I was dead.”

“What do you want me to say? I’m only speaking the truth. I have never lied to you. If you had listened to me, none of this would have happened. You would be the Dark One and could have used that power to protect your loved ones, rather than letting them nearly be sent to the Underworld. You couldn’t even take Excalibur from Hook, even though you had much more experience with magic than he did. Perhaps your heart wasn’t in it? Perhaps deep down in that heart bursting with the magic of true love, you knew they wouldn’t save you given the chance. Even Regina forgot about your needs and saving your soul, to save her true love’s life, a man that not only left her because of some sense of duty but then fucked his wife, getting the bitch pregnant. Regina just took him back. Do you think he fucked Marion out of a sense of duty? A code of honor? Do you believe he was thinking of your Evil Queen while he fucked her?”

“That was Zelena.”

“Does it matter? He fucked around on her and she took him back. She told him to take care of his family. He took care of his wife alright. Less than two months gone and he knocked the bitch up. Regina truly is stupid. I don’t understand why you aren’t furious with the woman? How can you love her? You are no better than she is. A masochist, Swan, is what you are. Do you think it was learned from the beatings you took as a child? Or having your innocence ripped away before you were too young to know what innocence was?”

“Leave me alone Nimue.”

“I am only here because you need me. You need me to tell you what you have been denying to yourself. I told you the truth before and you disagreed with me. It was quite dramatic but it doesn’t change a thing. I was never nothing! But now you know the truth. You are nothing. You are nothing Emma Swan. Nothing but a tool for others to use and throw away when they are done with you. Hook didn’t love you, he loved the idea that he could be with the Savior. Regina will never love you. She is probably sucking Robin’s cock at this minute while you lay in this hospital. You are nothing. Love may be a strength for your eternally optimistic parents but not for you. For you love is death.”

“You’re right.” Emma admitted. “I am nothing. But I am here now and I can be nothing alone in the darkness. That is enough for me. No one will use me again.”

“You really can be so ignorant. The only reason you are still asleep is because you have been sedated. Once they are ready for you to wake, to feel the pain, to inflict more on you, to make you apologize to little Henry for making such a bad decision as to take your own life, you won’t be alone. You will be in a cell. They will protect you from yourself and say it is for your own good. They won’t even let you die in peace, Emma. Your life is not yours. You are nothing. A simple tool, no better than a hammer found in a shed.”

“I don’t want to be a tool. I just want it all to go away.” Emma whispered.

“Why? Why are you so damn weak? Maybe you couldn’t fight back when you were six or ten or even twelve but you can fight now. You can hurt everyone who has ever hurt you. You are the most powerful bearer of light magic who exists with Merlin dead. You have dark magic in you still from being a Dark One. The combination, Emma is amazing. You have both and neither. There has never been a magic that cannot be defined as yours is now. Not dark and not light, just pure raw power. You are stronger than the imp coward no matter what he thinks. He is reliant on the Dagger. It is a weakness. Belle is a weakness. You can have no weakness if you would just open your eyes. You could be a Goddess on Earth. If they won’t love you they can at least feel your wrath. The Blue Fairy? Dead. The Imp? He feared Cora and he will certainly fear you. So what if you take the Dark Magic from him? It belongs to you. He had no right to take it!”

“I won’t be the Dark One again. I don’t want that.”

“You don’t know what you want. You never had a chance to decide. Forget the Dagger and forget being the Dark One. You can be more powerful without it. Make his precious Bella kill him. Better take the Dagger and make him kill her. Make him your slave, to suffer until you die of a ripe old age. Of course you cold always freeze time like Regina and be immortal. If you want to be alone, be alone. No one can come near you. Why death? Why nothingness? Decide to be that which you have been made into. Do you want Lilly? Want her the way she once was? Take her, do not give her the choice to leave. Make her afraid to betray you. Do you really want the Evil Queen? Make her your slave, kill Robin Hood. Use Henry’s life to make her kill Robin Hood. Everyone of them deserve it Emma! Every single one of them! Do not tell me you have never even thought about ripping Snow White’s heart out of her chest and controlling her or simply killing her. I am in your head and I know everything, every fleeting thought you have ever had. Remember how afraid she was of your magic? Give her cause Emma. Because if you continue to be nothing they will lock you up for your own protection. I would bet a certain piece of jewelry will adorn your wrist when you wake. They will tell you it is for your own good. You are hurt and confused Emma. They love you, Emma. Then they are going to lock you up under the hospital, just like they did to Glass, Zelena, I would bet Arthur is there now. You are going to be just another forgotten villian of Storybrooke who needs help.”

“They wouldn’t do that. I told Mary Margaret once how afraid I was of being locked up since I got out of prison.”

“Mary Margeret is dead! Your mother killed her! How can you be so stupid?”

“I just want to die.” Emma stressed again.

“Then you are nothing. You were a plaything for your foster fathers and brothers, for Neal, and a tool for fairy tale characters. Is that really what you want Emma? You never even killed anyone as the Dark One and yet they feared you. The Imp was the Dark One for centuries. He created the curse yet no one tried to save him or stop him. He slaughtered almost as many people as Regina and yet there he was, collecting rent and plotting against everyone, even after the curse broke.”

“I don’t want to hurt my family. I don’t.”

But she did. In her heart Emma knew, she wanted them all to feel her pain. Every single one of them. 

Graham could have been good to her but he never had the chance. Regina killed him and what does Emma do? She falls for the woman, hard, forced to hide it, forced to deny the mixed signals Regina always gave her.

“I’m just a tool.” Emma whispered.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure the next time they are all in mortal danger, you will be loved briefly until it has passed. If you die they will bury you next to Neal and have a girl perhaps. Maybe Snow will name her Emma so she can resuse your baby blanket.”

“Are you really here?”

“Does it matter? Fine, thenyes I am. Once the darkness is imbedded in your soul there is no going back. You can’t clean souls, or hearts. Regina may have reformed but she will always be the Evil Queen inside. Snow will always be the self righteous fool who didn’t even have the courage to kill Cora. She tricked Regina into killing her own mother. She will always be the one who fought a revolution, killed countless soldiers herself to take back her kingdom. David will always be the shepard who encouraged her. Henry will always be the self righteous, judgemental little shit he has always been. The one that ran back into Regina’s arms rather than even considering going to New York with you. When are you going to stop being used Emma?”

“I don’t know.” Emma admitted.

“You had best decide quickly. Your magic is healing you quickly and they won’t be able to keep you sedated for long. When you wake up, the plan for fixing the poor, broken White Knight will begin. The cuff will be put on and your life will no longer be in your hands once again unless you take it back!”

Nimue blended back into the darkness with those parting words. Suddenly the darkness did not seem so peaceful. Emma was not dead and more pain was coming. The question left to her was whose pain would it be? Hers or others?

While Emma lay in her hospital bed, the heroes of Storybrooke sat in her room, watching her twitch. Her hands tried to break the straps around her wrists but still she remained asleep, the tube breathing for her.

“I have some good news.” Whale announced, catching Regina, David and Snow’s attention.

“Out with it Frankenstein.” Regina snapped, utterly exhausted.

“Her body is healing at an amazing rate. The blood cell test shows red blood cells are delivering oxygen to her system as they should and the PH in her blood does not appear life threatening. We should be able to take her off the ventilator in two hours or so and see how she does.”

“Thank you Doctor.” Snow told him gratefully, as weary as Regina but not snappish at all.

“Her brain activity is off the charts. I’m not sure exactly what is going on in there but she is dreaming up a storm. So if you plan to put that little magical handcuff on her I would do it soon. If she wakes up with the tube in her throat it could be bad and I have no interest in being throw into a wall again.”

“I will handle it Doctor. That will be all.” Regina told him.

“Great, also you should know I cannot tell if any damage to the baby occured but considering the fetus hasn’t developed lungs yet, considering there has not been a miscarriage already I would say the chances are good that everything will be okay on that front.”

David, Snow, Regina and Henry’s jaws all dropped.

“Uh, is it something I said? I kind of expected a bit of relief.”

“We… didn’t … weren’t aware she was pregnant.” David spit out.

“Well considering everything that has happened recently she may not be aware herself. Probably not many pregnancy tests in Camelot. She is approximately eight weeks along.”

“She conceived when she was the Dark One.” Regina whispered to herself, not believing what she was hearing.

“Yes. I’m sorry to break the news like this.I should have considered you may not know.”

Whale moved to walk out but stopped.

“One other issue. Since by your own admissions, Emma attempted suicide, she is obviously not in her right mind to be making medical decisions for herself.”

“Of course Doctor. My husband and I will take respon…” Snow began.

“Actually, about a year ago, I can find the exact date, Emma filed legal paperwork with the court and brought a copy here. You and David are second and third in making medical decisions in the event Emma was not able. She also completed a do not resucitate order which can be overridden by the one who does have legal authority to make the decisions regarding her. That would be you Regina.”

The entire room froze.

“How … why would she do that? A year ago? Regina and Emma weren’t in the best place then. I mean they weren’t trying to kill each other but…”

“Snow is right, Whale. Her and David are her parents, they should have the right to make decisions.” Regina agreed, wondering why Emma would have done something like this.

“I was a bit surprised myself but she didn’t explain. As far as David and Mary Margaret, you are more than welcome to do as they want but the decision lays with you Regina. That cannot be changed. The first thing you are going to need to decide is what to do with her when she wakes. Even with the cuff if she is suicidal she may not eat, in which case a feeding tube will have to be placed in her without her consent. She may need to be constantly restrained or held in the mental health ward, pending suggestions by Dr. Hopper. I would say you have a couple hours to think about things like this. I will leave you all alone. Be back in a couple hours.”

“I… I don’t even know where to begin.” Snow blurted out and Regina was annoyed to see tears already forming.

“I don’t know either.”

“She loves Mom.” Henry offered. All looked at him but he didn’t look away. “It’s true. She may have loved Hook but she loves you Mom. Why else would she have sacrificed everything for you? I don’t mean like a best friend either and you know it. Ma has always put you first, even helping find your true love. She trusts you, and it’s the same reason she gave you the Dagger in Camelot.”

“Henry, I don’t think you understand the different kinds of love…” Regina began.

“I understand fine. Right now, I don’t care and it isn’t important. I’m scared, she tried once and she may again and I can’t lose her. She won’t want the baby if she finds out. What are we supposed to do? We can’t put her in a cell and we can’t keep her tied up forever. I’m so scared. I don’t think I have ever been this scared in my life and considering what we have all gone through that is saying something.”

“We won’t let her harm the child.” Snow said immediately. While Regina recognized that it wasn’t really their decision to make, she agreed. Emma had tried to kill herself. Before that she was practically catatonic. She didn’t know what she wanted right now.

So many problems, Gold, Emma. Now a baby, fathered by Captain fucking Hook.

“Emma is going to have a baby.” Snow whispered.

“Yes, a baby concieved while she was the Dark One.” Regina pointed out, her heart breaking a bit for Emma and the child.

“Has a Dark One ever concieved a child?” David asked.

“I have no idea. I suppose it is possible.” Regina responded. 

“What does this mean? If Emma had a great potential for darkness before she was ever born then what will this child be?” Snow asked, as if Regina knew everything. It was becoming quite tiresome.

“The child will be loved unconditionally, by Emma and by all of us. I will make sure of it.” she told the three, Henry smiling for the first time in days.

Regina’s phone buzzed with a text from Robin.

Are you coming home soon? The baby won’t stop crying.

Regina replied without thinking.

I’m with Emma. Call someone else. I won’t be back till tommorrow at the earliest. Surely you can find one of those groupies that services your boys in the forest to handle the child for one day.

What is a groupie?

Regina turned off her phone. She did not need the distraction. What was important was Emma now. Robin impregnanted his sister and then wanted Zelena gone. Regina did this for him. He could handle the results of his actions for one day. She was a Queen who decided where she went and what she did, not a babysitter for Robin Hood. There were plenty of women living in the forest with his friends. He could figure it out himself.

Regina would not leave Emma’s side, no matter what.

Her real family, even Snow and David were what mattered now. She had decisions to make and needed to prepare them all. Who knew what Emma would be like when she woke? One decision had to be made immediately for the good of everyone, Emma and the child she carried especially.

“Henry, give me the cuff.”


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own OUAT or any of its characters. Thank you for the kudos and especially to bananalestrange and betagamma for your kind comments. Your encouragement is keeping me going. I haven’t had this much fun writing a story in a long time. Now some answers to Emma’s pregnancy.

Chapter 4

The breathing tube came out without incident and all four watched as Emma took steady if a bit wheezy breaths but did not wake up. Her eye’s moved constantly behind her closed lids and her arms flexed everytime her arms tried to move away from the bedrails they were bound to but she had not woken. All were anxious about her return to consciousness, wanting to know what sort of Emma would be returning.

But the wait continued. Almost as if Emma were making them suffer. The sedatives had stopped being adminstered six hours before and Whale warned them it could be a while yet they still expected her to wake any second.

“Maybe we should untie her hands? Do you think she will freak out if she wakes with her hands tied?” Snow asked, breaking the hours long silence.

“No!” David and Regina said at the same time. 

Silence reigned again. Henry stood up and paced the small room until Regina stopped him with a hand on his shoulder and guided him back to his chair.

Eight hours after the last dosage Emma’s eyes fluttered. She blinked rapidly and her hand immediately moved to her eyes to clear them, only to be stopped by the strap on her wrist. She slowly peered at her wrist and then the other, testing her bonds. Her face remained calm and strangely her eyes did not express surprise, almost acceptance.

Until her eyes looked back at her right wrist again, noting the binding was over that damn cuff.

Fury rolled like a sudden storm over her as she jerked up, pulling, shaking and even growling, her blonde hair flying as she tried to rip the guardrails off the bed.

“Get these fucking things off of me!” Emma screamed.

Snow rushed to her bed, reaching for her daughter’s wrist, only to have David pull her back. 

“Emma calm down!” Regina told her, trying to remain calm herself. She regretted letting Henry be in the room now. “You were hurt and tried to hurt yourself! You are not yourself right now and until you calm down no one is going to be taking anything off.”

Emma stopped fighting and looked at Regina, a look that could kill if possible.

“Go fuck Pine Cone and leave me the hell alone!” she hissed.

“I can’t do that Miss Swan. It seems you placed me in charge of your care if you were unable to make decisions for yourself and considering you attempted suicide and are trying to destroy a hospital room, I would say you aren’t in your right mind now.”

“Regina, I can’t be tied up. I hate being tied up. You don’t know the kind of things people do to you when they tie you up. You have no fucking right …” Emma’s rant was stopped by a coughing fit. “You have no right to do this or tell me I am not in my right mind. Let me go or I swear I will arrest you for kidnapping.”

“Arrest? You think you are still the Sheriff?”

“I am the Sheriff!”

“I fired you.”

“Its an elected position. You can’t. Not that you would know anything about elections since you are the only politician who has never had to be elected. Let me go and get this goddamn cuff off my wrist. Are you going to electrocute me as well? Trying out a reenactment of Mendel? Or have you been taking a page out of the foster parents guidebook?”

“Emma, please calm down. Henry is here and we have always been so worried about …” Snow tried.

“Henry? Get the fuck out of here. Go home to your step daddy. I’m done saving people for you. Get the hell out of this room!”

Henry jumped back toward the door, not believing the woman in his bed was the same mother he loved so much. Even as the Dark One he could still see her in there, knowing the right thing, even if she was justifying her actions. This woman looked like a crazed beast.

“Emma, you need to relax before you hurt yourself worse.” David tried in his best stern, fatherly voice. Emma looked at him and spit, not much striking her face due to her partially dehydrated state.

“Get out. All of you. She told me you would do this. I should have listened to her. I should have always listened to her!”

“Listen to who Emma?” Regina asked, sharing a concerned look with Snow.

“You all think you know best? You should have let me die. What gave you the right to make me live? I sent you letters, I said my goodbyes. This is what I wanted! Who do you think you are to stop me?! I am done with you all! I’m not your daughter, your mother or anything to you Regina. I want you all gone now. I will get someone else to take these bonds off!”

“No one is…” David started until the bed started shaking. Emma appeared to be having a seizure but the shaking was caused by the force she emitted from her strong physical strength. Despite the softness of the bindings on her wrists the one that was not covered by the cuff began to bleed.

“Whale!” Regina called, since apparently all Snow planned to do was stand and stare at her daughter, who was in the middle of what appeared to be a psychotic episode.

“Yes … ahh I see our Savior is up. Shall I adminster a sedative again? It looks like the reunion is not going well.”

“Get the damn sedative before I turn you into toad, you bastard!” Regina told him then fell onto Emma, trying to stop her shaking and the movement of her arms. Unfortunately Regina was not nearly strong enough to handle the Sheriff. David tried to help until his face came close to Emma’s and she bit him. He nearly knocked down Snow, backing away, feeling the gash in his cheek bleeding already.

Emma began screaming loudly, drawing a larger crowd outside her room. Regina wondered where the hell Whale was. The bastard was probably screwing bolts into someone’s neck and would be over when Emma had beaten them all to hell.

“Emma stop! You are going to hurt your baby!” Snow finally yelled. Regina internally groaned. Not the best time Snow. Of course Regina of all people knew how Snow was at keeping secrets, not just about Daniel but any secrets. The woman’s mouth did not have an off switch.

To Snow’s credit the announcement did have the desired effect. Emma stopped fighting. She stopped moving completely, falling back onto the bed.

“I don’t have a baby.” she finally whispered and then coughed slightly.

“You are pregnant Emma. You need to keep taking in oxygen and get better. The baby needs oxygen.”

“Oh my God, she did it. She found a way.” Emma said quietly, almost in awe.

“Who did what Emma?” Regina asked. Before Emma could even consider responding, Whale barged in and injected a needle into her shoulder.

“Emma listen to me. Who is she? Who did what?”

Emma’s eyes rolled in her head and her mouth dropped open. She remained awake but dazed.

“There we go. I was beginning to think you three were never going to hold her down. Quite the fighter, isn’t she?” Whale asked with a sly chuckle.

“You waited for us to hold her down?” Regina asked, disbelieving.

“Contrary to what you may think I am not a punching bag for the Savior.”

Regina hit Whale in the nose. Her knuckles cracked but she could heal them later. The sound of his nose breaking and the rush of blood made it all worth it.

“I swear when I cast this curse I should have let the dwarf be the head of the hospital.”

Whale had no response but to glare and hold his nose to stem the flow of blood. A nurse walked up to David and handed him a bandage while Snow began to examine the bite mark Emma left on his cheek.

“So I guess since she is a lunatic I will keep her on a regulard dosage of anxiety medicine through her IV untilt he three of you can determine what size straight jacket she needs. She can stay in here until she is medically cleared and at that point take her home or take her to the psych ward. Either one is fine with me. Just keep her away from other people, especially me.”

The three, four when Henry walked back to the bedside, stared at Emma as she mumbled to herself and drool threatened to drip from her half open mouth. Snow placed the nasal canula delivering oxygen back onto her face gently and kissed her forehead.

“Please come back to me, Emma. I love you. We all love you.” David kissed her forehead as well and then stepped into the hall with Snow and Regina.

“I think I should take Henry home. You two should probably wait for Archie, and I will be right back. We all need to eat and have to figure out a long term plan. I didn’t expect her to be so combative waking up or as strong. I forgot how damn strong she really is.” David told the two, almost apologetically.

“We did what we could. We can’t keep her sedated for the rest of her life. We can’t let her free, we can’t let her have access to magic. Thats all we have right now to go on.” Regina muttered, feeling utterly deflated. She had hoped for a mildly depressed and possibly regretful Emma when she woke, not a reenactment of the Exorcist.

“Regina, when I told her she was pregnant she calmed down. Do you think the baby may encourage her not to act out?”

“Snow you surprised her. That was why she stopped. She was shocked.” David suggested. Regina saw something else.

“No, she had an idea. Something struck her.” 

“Exactly! What could it be? What did she mean by she did it? Who is she? I thought we figured Hook, but can two women even have a baby? Even a magical baby? I mean sure there are legends but I’ve never met someone who actually knew someone who accomplished that. Do you think its possible Regina?” Snow asked in rapid fire, not giving anyone a chance to answer her.

Regina didn’t answer her questions. She didn’t have answers regardless. But the Queen knew who might.

“David, please take Henry and return with Archie as soon as you can. Snow and I will be here. I will teleport home later for a change of clothes. You may want to bring Snow a change. I have a feeling we will be here for a while.”

“You can go home tonight Regina, I mean if you want. I’m sure you miss Robin and Roland. He has the baby…” Snow started.

“I am going nowhere. I’m not leaving her side. Robin can learn to deal. On second thought David, could you take Henry to Granny’s and ask her if she wouldn’t mind him staying the night? At least he can eat food not killed and skinned on the same day as consumption.”

“Of course.”

“Mom? I don’t want to leave. I don’t want her to think I am leaving her.” the young man told her, his lip trembling but his eyes never leaving Emma.

“Henry, she will be out for a while. I don’t know when we will be able to bring her out of the state she is but it won’t be today. We need to talk to Archie and you need sleep. Please go rest. I need to know you are okay.”

David kissed Emma once more on her forehead and squeezed her hand gently before walking out, the tears he had been holding back beginning to fall.

Once the two were alone, Snow looked to Regina for answers without saying a word. Snow had always looked to Regina, especially as a child. Despite everything between them, deep down Snow still had a certain amount of hero worship for the woman who saved her from death as a child. The more of the old Regina that Snow saw emerge the more she wanted to fall into Regina’s arms and have her former step mother tell her everything would be okay, just as she did when Snow had nightmares as a child. Even when Regina hated Snow there had always been love. It was why the two never could kill the other, despite having opportunities.

“Stay here Snow. I need to step out for a bit. I need answers and Rumple may be able to give them.”

“You are going to his shop?!”

“Of course not. I’m bringing him here. I will be right back. Do not leave her side Snow. We can’t let our guard down for one second. She recovered quickly from her injuries probablydue to her magic. Her magic should be blocked but I want to take no chances. If she comes out of the sedation she has to be protected from herself.”

Regina walked down the hall and into a storage rooom. She remembered it as the one Emma had basiclly beaten Regina in, when Henry had eaten the poison turnover.

Taking the dagger out of her coat pocket she called the Dark One.

Gold appeared immediately, not looking well.

“Rumple.”

“Queen. What the hell do you want?”

“Answers.”

“And I suppose you are going to use the dagger to make me answer you? Step lightly Regina. You will not have that dagger forever. I will not forgive you for this. You know what I am capable of. Belle is gone and I have absolutely nothing to live for except revenge. Right now you and your new family and girlfriend are prime candidates to be my new targets.”

“Save it Imp. You may not be frightened of me but I bet if Emma was loose and coming for you, the confidence you feel now wouldn’t prevent you from running.”

“Emma Swan is nothing.” Gold argued.

“You really believe that? I command you to answer these questions truthfully Dark One. You will not lie to me.”

Gold’s face narrowed but Regina knew she had him.

“How powerful is Emma Swan?”

“Very powerful.” he admitted, looking down.

“More powerful than you?”

“Yes, if she masters her power. Her time as the Dark One has gone a long way towards giving her this mastery.”

“Is she more powerful now than she was when she was the Dark One?”

“Yes, most likely. She will have access to that light magic inside her and the dark magic will remain. The combination of the two will be like two powerful storms colliding with each other forming one great storm.”

“What do you see of her future?”

‘I cannot see her future any longer. Not in a very long time. Not since she entered Storybrooke.”

“If she is so bitter and angry how can she still have access to light magic?”

“It is a part of her. Dark magic has grown as she has fallen, just as light magic has grown in you since you have risen. Evil isn’t born dearie, it is made. Have I taught you nothing?”

“Nothing that didn’t benefit yourself in some way. So basically without the Dagger she is now a loose cannon of pure magical power. Is this why she has been acting erratic?”

“No. There is no magical explanation as much as you would like there to be one. She has quite simply lost her mind. She never has been the most stable person. Homeless, imprisoned, abandoned, abused, these are all examples of things she has lived with. You lost your mind because mommy killed your first crush and you blamed a ten year old girl instead of her. What the hell did you expect to happen to Emma Swan?”

Regina held in her anger. She had to remain cool and composed. She would not be affected by this bastard. Not any longer.

“Did you know she is pregnant?”

Gold showed surprise on his face for the first time.

“I had no idea. Is it Hook’s?”

“That is my belief. But Emma seems focused on a she. Emma mentioned that she should have listened to her and when she found out she was pregnant, Emma said she did it. Any idea of what she might be talking about?”

Gold was now visibly frightened.

“Tell me what you know!”

“I don’t know anything for sure!” 

Regina rolled her eyes.

“Tell me what you suspect.”

“I suspect I am not the only Dark One who has tricks. I thought they were all in the Dagger but something didn’t feel right. When I tricked the darness back int myself, she must have found another way to free herself. There were two Dark Ones. She didn’t have to stay with Hook. The others came over but she must have escaped.”

“Who!”

“Nimue!”

Regina was nearly frozen by the chill that ran through her. The first Dark One. Merlin’s first love. The one who created the Dagger from Excalibur.

“What about Nimue? Tell me what you suspect.”

“I suspect that Emma should abort that baby as soon as possible.”

“Not going to happen. Try again. What about Nimue?”

“If I had to take an educated guess I would say the new Baby Swan is going to be a girl and Emma will name her Nimue. Don’t you see Regina? You can’t be this dense.”

Regina did see but she didn’t want to.

“When the darkness left Hook and Emma to go back to you …”

“Not all the Dark Ones returned. Emma used Excalibur to kill Hook. At that moment she was not controlled by the Dagger but she was still the Dark One, for a few moments at least. If Emma was pregnant and Nimue knew, which she would, then she could have simply attached herself to Emma before the Dagger existed again in my control and taken over the fetus. She did it. She found a way back into the physical world. A way to escape the Underworld. A new body.”

Gold spoke with same awe that Emma did but his was laced with great fear.

“Don’t you see Regina? Nimue will be reborn, an innocent babe, probably with no memories of who and what she was at first but as she grows they will return. Maybe not completly but she will grow into them. She will carry all of Emma’s power, all the power of the Dark Ones most likely, since the power stemmed from her. She will be the most powerful sorceress to have ever existed. Even more powerful than her mother and there is no Dagger holding her back. If she is sharing a body and mind with Emma, then our fallen Savior will never regain sanity. That baby cannot be born. She will be the end of us all. At the very least we will all be slaves. Perhaps all the realms will fall to her.”

Regina did see. Emma may have been driven mad by the events of her life but with the first Dark One still whispering in her ear, what chance did she have? Was that why she tried to kill herself? Did she know or did she not learn until she was unconscious? Emma told her about God but never mentioned Nimue before the suicide attempt.

Oh my God, she did it. That was what Emma said. It made sense now.

“You must either kill this baby before it is born or kill Emma. Regina, the two of them together will not hesitate to cause whatever pain they can for simple entertainment.”

“I won’t kill either of them. Never suggest that to me again. Neither will you. That is a command if you weren’t clear.”

“Then we are all dead.”

“You are over 300 years old. You should have died a dozen times by now.”

“And Henry? To what age is he allowed to live?”

“Emma would never hurt him.” Regina bit out.

“Keep telling yourself that Dearie. And you? Are you ready to die before your fortieth birthday?”

Regina knew Emma wouldn’t. Emma would not kill her. She just wouldn’t. The same as she could never kill Emma. Even if Emma had begged her in Camelot to destroy her, Regina never could have done it. Not Emma.

“You are to say nothing of this to no one. Not Emma, not her family, no one. Go back to your corner in your shop. I will call you again if I need you.”

“Regina you have to do something.”

“Yes I do. I have to try to help Emma back from whatever self imposed hell she is in and I will make sure her baby is safe and loved by her and everyone else.”

“That baby is …”

“Is a baby. You said it yourself Gold. Evil isn’t born, it is made. That baby can have the same chance as any other child, even if the child is the reincarnation of Nimue.”

With a look of despair mingled with disgust, Gold disappeared. Regina slipped the Dagger back into her coat pocket. She needed to change clothes. A smoke scented power suit was becoming quite uncomfortable after 24 plus hours of continous wear.

Yes she could concentrate on other things. She would not focus on Emma giving birth to possibly the most evil woman to ever walk any realm. Nor would she focus on Emma having the first Dark One sharing a mind when Emma was already so devastated and lost. She would focus on taking care of her. Loving her. That was all she could do now. That and to protect this baby at all costs. It was a baby. Emma’s baby.

She walked out of the closet back to Snow who sat by the bed gently caressing Emma’s hand and wiping a bit of saliva that had escaped from the side of her daughter’s mouth.

“What did you find out?” she asked, without looking at Regina.

“He knows nothing useful. Nothing that will help us now.”

“Archie is on his way over. Regina I need to know something and I need you to be completely honest.”

“I can do that.”

“I know, at least I heard stories about certain … practices you may have indugled in with females, while you reigned and I have always suspected the story Emma told me about Lilly wasn’t complete, that she was holding a lot out. So I am not surprised by the possiblity but I need to know, do you love my daughter? Really love her? When she woke up … I know the resentments she has always had towards David and I. We have made so, so many mistakes with her. But the first thing she said to you was to go back to Robin. It wasn’t a friendly suggestion. She is angry and jealous of you and Robin. I think Henry is right. She loved Hook but she loved you more. She would have died for you. She gave up her soul for you. Do you love my daughter?”

Regina froze, not expecting Snow to be so forthcoming.

She stood in silence for what could have been hours or seconds.

“Yes.” she finally answered. There was no use denying it. She had always thought the blonde beautiful, always had erotic dreams about her. She had always held Emma in a sort of reverance. There appeared to be nothing the blonde could not accomplish when she set her mind to it. Brave, unafraid of death, tenacious, but loving. Behind her walls was so much love waiting to get out and everytime she allowed it, she was shattered. The Queen had toxic relationships. Regina did not want to be another of her hurts. Apparently she had anyway.

“Then you need to decide if pixie dust is more important than what you are feeling. Because you can’t help her if she is angry and jealous. I don’t know how to help her considering the anger she feels toward me. Normally I would say you are the only one who has ever been able to reach her but you can’t if you … I’m not asking you to make a decision or giving you an ultimatum. I just want you to know that Robin is going to be an obstacle. It may be better if you aren’t the one to try to reach her.”

Regina angered quickly but took a breath and counted to ten. By nine she knew Snow was right. Regina could not be a mother to Henry, Roland and her niece, a caretaker for Robin, the mayor of Storybrooke, the primary magical defense of Storybrooke and be what she needed to be for Emma.

Emma left everything behind to save Regina without a second’s hesitation.

Now it was Regina’s turn.

“I don’t think Emma is in the right state for any declarations of love but I understand what you are saying. It is time I have a talk with Robin. Honestly I held on to him because Emma had Hook and … I didn’t want to be alone.”

“And she probably held on to Hook because she couldn’t have you and he worshipped the ground she walked on. But it is probably time you both stopped playing games. I don’t know if Emma will ever be who she was before but I do believe in love conquering all.”

“I will talk to Robin and explain. Perhaps I know a few people who can help him find a place to live. The forest is no place to raise a newborn. I can also hire a nurse or two to help him settle in with the baby. You are right Snow as much as it pains me to admit that. It is time we all focus on who is important. For once Emma needs to be the number one priority.”

“Thank you Regina.”

“I will do it tonight after we speak to Archie and David returns.”

Regina sat down and turned her phone on for the first time since she turned it off the night before. Fourteen missed calls from Robin.

“I also think we should ask one of Emma’s friends who has never hurt her to try and talk to her.” Snow suggested.

“Excuse me?”

“You know what I mean Regina. All of us have hurt her at some time or another. She might feel better visiting with someone who she doesn’t associate any bad memories with.”

“That certainly leaves out this Lillith woman. I had to talk Emma out of killing her on a public highway.”

“I was thinking of finding a way to contact Elsa.”

Regina inexplicably felt she had been slapped. She never suspected any romantic connections between Emma and Elsa. Indeed the two seemed to share a bond of sisterhood that the Snow Queen actually wanted. A bond that Regina was jealous of. Emma had connected to Elsa very deeply in a short amount of time. Although she never talked about it, Regina was fairly certain that losing Elsa back to Arendalle was another blow to Emma.

But to her chagrin Snow may have been on point. Despite her jealousy of the connection the two shared, Elsa had never hurt Emma. It was hard to imagine Emma screaming at Elsa, biting her, attacking her verbally or emotionally. And Elsa would never use magic against Emma.

“I have no idea how to get in touch with her. It is doubtful the portal will work again or that we would be able to get back.”

“Probably not but I have a friend who can travel between realms. She stuck a mini trident in your neck once.” Snow told her with a small laugh.

“Ariel.”

“Yep. Mermaids can travel between realms correct?”

“Yes. It is probably best if you ask her. I may have given her voice back and her legs but she still most likely isn’t my biggest fan.”

“I will call her now, and hope she has figured out how to answer a phone. I’m sure Eric has taught her by now. Stay with Emma?”

“I won’t leave her Snow. I promise.”

Snow caught the meaning of what Regina meant. No matter what, no matter what the child she carried was, no matter who Emma was now or how angry she became, Regina would not leave her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snow learns more about Emma's past and Archie meets with Emma. TW for talk of past child abuse.

Don’t own OUAT. Trigger warnings for mentions of past child abuse.

Chapter 5

As Snow and Regina waited for Archie to show up, Regina finally broke down and opened the letter Emma had written Henry.

Hey kid,

I know you are probably really, really upset right now and really, extremely mad at me. I can understand that. You feel like I am abandoning you again. Nothing I can really say right now is going to change your mind and I get that. I will try anyway.

First of all, please never doubt that I love you. I guess you know that with true love’s kiss and all that magic stuff. I want you to know the year we lived in New York was the best year of my life. Even after our memories returned, that year showed me what could have been and I wish our fake life had been real. I was happy, it didn’t matter that I didn’t know my family, because I had you and you are all that matters. But it wasn’t real and I guess thats the way life goes. 

I’m writing this letter by magic so if it isn’t the most eloquent, blame that. While Snow, David and Regina are keeping vigil over me a pen is writing furiously upstairs. Magic is a funny thing. When you are growing up, you would give anything to have it and when you get older you realize having magic is this great responsibity. I don’t regret having it because it has saved our butts more than a few times but one thing Gold wasn’t wrong about was that magic has a price. My price was everything. I would pay it time and time again for you.

This probably seems like I am running again. It’s what I do after all. But I promise I am not running, not this time. I’ve just reached the end of the marathon and I am so damn tired I want to collapse and never get up again. I am beat Henry. I know you always saw me as a hero but the turth is I’m not. I’ve only done what I had to do and now I’m done. 

Your mother is an amazing woman. Probably one of the greatest people I have ever met. Be good to her. I would imagine she would be comforting you, rather than the other way around. But make sure you tell her everyday how much you love her. I have to go now kid. My race is finished and there arent anymore left in me. Be good. The three years since I have known you made all the difference in the world. You were the one bright spot in my whole life. I love you so much but I can go, knowing your mother, your real mother, is going to take care of you. This isn’t how heroes are suposed to go out, but I don’t feel much like a hero. I’m just so damn tired Henry. I hope you can forgive me.

Love forever,

Emma

Regina folded the letter and placed it back in her purse. She had yet to read hers, fearing what it might say and she would not ask about Snow and the shepard’s letter. They were private.

“What did the letter to Henry say?’ Snow asked, not now or ever respecting the meaning of private.

“Not much. I don’t know if I will let him read it. Seeing Emma like she was this morning has shaken him up. He is scared and hurt and I don’t know if this will help him or frighten him even more.” Regina admitted. In all her years she had never had to deal with this. Yes, she too had thought about suicide after Daniel’s death, but rather than kill herself, she directed her anger towards Snow, even though it was all her mother’s fault.

“Do you want to read mine and David’s?”

“No.” Regina answered quickly. “The letter belongs to you, it is not my business.”

“Okay. Have you read…”

“Snow let’s not focus on the suicide notes since she has not commited suicide. Lets focus on keeping her from writing anymore.”

Snow said nothing, recognizing Regina’s tone as the end of that line of questioning. She was right anyway, they had more important things to deal with. Still the letter shook her and David to the core. Neither had spoken about it but she shared a heart with the man and their heart was hurting.

“I got in touch of Ariel. She is leaving in the hour.”

Regina stiffened, having forgotten that little plan. Perhaps not forgotten but chose to ignore.

“I don’t believe this is a good plan. We don’t even know if Elsa can make it here, if she can get back or what affect she has on Emma. We also don’t know what effect seeing Emma like this will do to her. Let’s not forget she has a tendency to freeze Storybrooke when upset.” the Mayor pointed out.

“Regina, they were as close as sisters. Emma never connected…”

“Yes, I am aware of how close they are.” Regina snapped.

“I don’t mean it like that. Emma never saw her romantically. You don’t have to be jealous.” Snow whispered, so as not to be overheard by the already alert ears of the hospital staff.

“I am not jealous of the popsicle princess. I just think we should be careful right now. Emma is severly depressed and angry at being restrained, not to mention learning the fact that she is pregnant. I mean really, did you think that was a good time to bring that little nugget of information up?”

“She stopped fighting.” Snow defended. Regina conceded the point but would not admit it.

“What do you think she meant when she told you about what people do to you when you are tied up?” Snow asked. Regina knew but did not feel this was the time, nor was it her place to share with Snow.

“How is she?” David asked, walking up with Archie who looked despondent.

“Whale has her under some sedative he says will keep her calm. She isn’t asleep but she isn’t really awake. She is still restrained. Thank you for coming Archie.”

Archie dipped his head to Snow in reply. “I should have been more alert.”

“This was not your fault, Archie. You warned us. If anyone is to blame it’s me. I’m supposed to be a mother to her and I have failed her at every turn.”

“Snow.” David comforted her, sitting down and rubbing her back. “We should have all seen the signs. Not talking for days, the devastation on her face when she had to kill Hook, I missed the signs as well. I didn’t want to believe she would do something like this.”

“I have asked Dr. Whale to stop the sedatives. I am hoping she is lucid enough for me to be able to talk to her in the next hour or so, but I would like to speak to the three of you since you know her best. Perhaps if we could go to the waiting room down the hall that has a door we can close, I can get some background.”

Snow and Regina looked towards the window of Emma’s room where she was still mumbling with her eyes closed.

“I don’t want to leave her. You two go. You most likely know more than I do Snow. You have been living with her since she arrived in Storybrooke. Surely you know most of her background, correct? I will stay and keep watch.”

“Regina, she is going to be out of it for a while…” Archie tried.

“I will stay and watch. Thank you Dr. Hopper.”

Snow and David followed Archie to the room in question and the door was closed. All three sat down.

“I am so sorry that you all and Emma of course, are having to go through this. If I am going to help, I need to know everything and I am going to ask some uncomfortable questions.”

“We understand. We will answer anything you want to know, Archie. To start with you should know we found out Emma is pregnant when she arrived here. It’s Hook’s we are assuming. She is aware of this as well. Snow, I was telling Archie earlier about Emma’s violence when she woke but I never got around to that part.” David admitted.

Archie raised an eyebrow. “That is a game changer. Is that when she calmed down?”

“I’m not sure. Whale had to give her a sedative, still but she did calm down for a bit.” Snow informed him, trying to remember details of the encounter, despite it scaring the hell out of her.

“I see. David said she had an aversion to being restrained. Perfectly natural when waking up, but it did seem rather extreme when first waking. She was also upset about the magic blocking cuff?”

“Very.” David agreed.

“Okay, that is probably due to her inability to defend herself. She woke up, strapped down and powerless, physically and without magic to protect her. I can understand how someone as independant and used to relying on herself as Emma would see this as an immediate threat. I am going to ask you some questions now. They won’t be easy but again I need complete honesty.”

“Of course,” Snow assured him. Archie took a deep breath.

“How old was Emma the first time she was sexually assaulted?”

Both Snow and David froze.

“I told you these would be tough but I need to know what you know.” Archie stressed.

“We don’t know. Emma never told us about being …” Snow tried but couldn’t bring herself to say it. She had put her in a tree alone and she thought it was her best chance?

“Emma has never mentioned it, Archie.” David finished.

“Okay, not necesarily a surprise. Emma can be closed off a bit and would not want to tell you anything that might upset you. Perhaps she hasn’t been. I do know the foster system can be very difficult for girls. Do you know how often she was beaten and what age it started? Obviously she has been tied up before, judging by her reaction to the straps. Of course the sense of helplessness, could also stem from her time in prison, but she shows obvious signs of a history of physical abuse.”

“What!? What signs?” Snow demanded.

“I have observed Emma often, being a small town and all, and she is very defensive at all times. Not just normally alert but almost expecting a fight to break out, even if it is a quiet lunch at Granny’s. She also eats like someone who was routinely starved growing up. She devours food quickly, as if afraid someone will take it from her at any second. Her eyes even roam the room while she is chewing. I have seen her relax with Henry but when alone she almost always does this.”

Snow and David had noticed Emma’s habit of swallowing food nearly whole but thought that it was just a healthy appetite.

“I don’t know Archie. She never spoke much about … she never said anything at all.”

“Have you noticed any scars on her that might have been the result of abuse?”

“I uh… I saw her in a towel after she had gotten out of the shower one day. She had these marks, not really scars, but just, sort of … anyway they were on the back of her legs. She also has a couple of small burn scars on her shoulder, the right one.” Snow answered. “I’m not sure about the rest of her body.”

“But nothing else? She never mentioned any abuse?”

“She said that she had a bad childhood but that is as far as it ever went.” David answered, feeling guilty that the two didn’t push her for more. They figured Emma would open up if and when she was ready. They should have done more.

“How did she feel about your new baby and naming him Neal?” Archie asked, out of the blue, throwing both off track.

“What do you mean? She loves him of course!” Snow answered quickly.

“So no jealousy or anger at the two of you for naming the child after the man who betrayed and left her in prison?”

Snow’s thoughts immediately went to the time she saw Emma at the first time mothers class. Snow hadn’t thought much about it until the bottle Emma was holding began to boil. Then she wouldn’t allow Emma to take Neal. It wasn’t long after that Emma had trouble with her magic and instead of trying to help, Snow and David encouraged her to get rid of it, only to find out later on, if not for Elsa talking her out of it, Emma would have been lost in the sorcerer’s hat.

She remembered Emma’s face the first time she saw Snow after they returned from the second curse.

Emma never really spoke of Neal, come to think of it.

“Okay, she may feel some resentment. This hasn’t been an easy situation for any of us. Having a daughter who is the same age as we are, we haven’t handled it the best we could.” Snow admitted. David sat quietly, not saying a word, the look on his face saying everything for him.

“I am not here to condemn you Snow. I just need to know what issues I am dealing with. Please don’t take this as suggesting you did something wrong.”

“You haven’t read the letter she sent to us. Her suicide note.” David told him with a grimace.

“What exactly did it say?”

“Do not keep my ashes, throw them in the ocean. I wish I could have grown up with you. The two of you would have been the best parents in the world. Neal is a lucky kid. I have to go now. I’m tired and I have nothing else to give. I hope you live happily ever after. Someone should. Emma.” 

Snow had the short note memorized. No poetic words, not long explanations, short, simple and to the point.

“I see. Okay, while she was under the curse of the Dark One, what was she like, in regards to behavior and such?”

“Closed off and completely isolated. She said afterward that she did it to protect us.” David answered.

“Has Emma ever mentioned being homeless?”

“Yes, she told me she had been homeless many times.” Snow answered. “Of course this was when we were under the curse. I could get her to open up more before she found out I was her mother. She had lived on the street and in her bug after prison. I don’t know for how long she lived on the streets but I had a feeling it was not a one time thing. When she arrived here, after Regina had her evicted from Granny’s, I found her in her car. She mentioned it wasn’t the first time she had lived in her car.”

“I see. Is there anyone you know of who might give any insight to Emma’s past, someone else she may have opened up to?”

“No. Emma isn’t exactly…” Snow started. She looked at David who was having the same thought.

“Lilly.” David whispered with a grimace.

“Malificent’s daughter? She knew Emma before Storybrooke?” Archie asked.

“They … knew each other. I’m not sure how well …” David started.

“They were lovers.” Archie said bluntly, reading between the lines.

Neither Snow or David said anything at first. Finally Snow broke the silence.

“Maybe. She never told us for sure and I know they have a complicated past. Emma blamed her for some things that went wrong and of course Lilly hates David and I for what we did to her. But I guess if anyone would know about Emma’s past that she doesn’t talk about, it would be Lilly.”’

“Do you think Regina would talk to her?”

“Yes, but I need to.”

“She hates us, Snow.”

“I know, but I think she will do this for Emma. She will be guarded with Regina. You know Regina can be intimidating. She won’t mind telling me about Emma’s past. She would probably revel in the opportunity.”

“Or lie to you to make you feel worse.” her husband pointed out.

“I honestly don’t think I can feel much worse, do you? After we talk to Emma with Archie I will…”

“Snow, perhaps you should go now. I would like to talk to Emma alone. She may be less combative that way.” Archie suggested.

Snow knew what he was saying. Emma would not talk in front of her parents. 

“Then I will go now.”

“Not alone. I’m coming with you.” David rose before Snow stopped him with a hand.

“Lilly won’t open up with you there either David. I come across as somewhat non threatening. You … you may let your temper get the best of you if what I suspect is true. I will be fine, just please stay near with Regina in case Emma has another … episode.”

“I will, Snow.”

Snow left the hospital for the first time since Emma had been brought in. Without giving it much thought, she drove to the small house Malificent had rented where she and Lilly lived. Apparently Regina supported the two or at least rented the house and provided income. Snow had yet to ask Regina about this and was rethinking her decision to come here. Perhaps Regina would have been a better choice.

She was here though and it would be best to get this started. Archie, all of them, needed information. 

The knock on the door was answered by a glaring Malificent.

“Just because I am not actively trying to kill you, does not give you an open invitation to my house Snow White. I would suggest you be gone before I decide to roast you. Neither Lilly nor I have had dinner.”

“I need to speak to Lilly. Please Malificent, I will beg her if I have to but I have to speak to her.”

“Why? I heard Emma had a bit of an accident last night. Not exactly an accident was it? Lilly isn’t some dark magic dumping ground for your daughter’s dark impulses.”

“That isn’t what I am here for! I just want information. I need it for … I need to know about her past and there is only one person who can tell me.”

“Not our problem. Good day …”

‘Mom? Let her in.” Lilly’s voice spoke quietly from down the hall.

“Lilly …”

“I owe Emma that much Mom. Probably more. Let her in.”

The door opened despite the look of contempt on Mal’s face and Snow realized Lilly was on the other side. She beckoned Snow to follow and the two entered the kitchen.

“I will be in the living room Lilly. If she looks like she has anything … magical, scream and I will gut her myself.” Mal informed her daughter with a warning towards the former princess.

Snow tried to relax but the look on Lilly’s face was not one of acceptance and concern.

“I fucking hate you Snow White. Don’t get any ideas about me answering any questions because I want to help you or your family feel better about how you fucked up both our lives. I won’t lie to you but I am not going to sugarcoat it either princess. Now what do you want to know?”

Snow was taken aback by the young woman’s rough manner but should have expected nothing less. She had ruined the girl’s life. Hers and Emma’s.

“I am sure Emma was abused in her past. How often was she abused? Do you know?”

“You are going to have to be more specific. Are we talking sexually, physically or emotionally?”

Snow winced hearing that.

“I suppose we should start with emotionally.”

“You would want to start with that. Think its easier, don’t you? Thats what you will never understand. The beatings, the rapes, she went through, that feeling of worthlessness is just as hard to get past. Fine, the first time she was emotionally aboused was when she was sent back to the system as a toddler because her first family had there own kid. She was very young but that memory never left her. That feeling of being replaced, it hurts more than you could imagine. Yeah I bitched a lot about my adopted parents and made Emma think I was a foster kid too because I never could feel happy, but at least I had them. They gave a damn enough to come looking for me when I ran off. I was never abused the way Emma was but she told me everything. She was this amazing girl who gave off this light if she would just let it shine. Unfortunately she was told time and time again that she was nothing. You hear it enough, you start to believe it. 

When she was six, she asked her caseworker how her parents died. A lot of kids in the system were orphans of course, so Emma figured she must be one as well. Finding out she was left on the side of the road probably destroyed her and everything, every slight, every insult, every thing added to that. She told me once that I was the first person who ever made her feel she was worth something.”

“The two of you were close. You were…”

“Lovers? Yeah we were. After all Emma had been through with guys, the idea of being romantic with one would not have crossed her mind. I was honestly shocked that she had a kid and that she was seeing this Hook guy. The way Regina was able to talk her down when I thought Emma planned to kill me, I figured she was with her. Of course it isn’t that surprising that she would eventually wind up with a man or two. I mean once you got past her walls she was so vunerable. For Emma it was never about sex, I don’t think. She just wanted to be loved so bad it wouldn’t matter what sex he or she was. What happened to this Neal guy? Mom mentioned you named your kid after him? Why did him and Emma break up?”

“He set her up and left her in prison, pregnant with Henry.” Snow admitted.

“And you named your kid after him! Are you that fucking stupid? Dumb question, forget I asked. But damn, I mean I consider myself somewhat of a bitch but even I’m not that insensitive.”

“Neal reconnected with Emma and he died a hero.” Snow said quietly, feeling stabbed by LIlly’s words.

“Whatever. I know Emma didn’t reconnect with him. Not the way he wanted. Once you betray Emmat thats it. No second chances. She gave me a second chance and lost out on a really good family because of it. I asked her to come with me and she said she never wanted to see me again. I got a feeling she ran after that and never went back into the system.”

“How old was she?”

“Probably 16. She would have met this Neal character when she was 17 maybe and what? She was in prison when she had the kid? Thats why she gave him up? I bet she was homeless when she got out too. God you have no idea, do you? You may have ran from Regina for a long time but you had a kingdom of people to put you up, see you as a hero, feed you and take care of you. Do you have any idea what it is like to be on these streets of some of the major cities? You wouldn’t last two nights princess. Eating out of trash cans, fighting bums for food, staying away from addicts looking for a high and getting violent if they didn’t get what they wanted. Yeah, Emma survived all of that.”

“I know. I know I wouldn’t have done well. I recognize I haven’t been a mother to her. I wanted to but I have no idea how, but this isn’t about me, or making myself feel better or worse. Archie needs this information Lilly. Emma tried to kill herself and nearly succeeded. She burned her house down around her and held a barrier spell outside to keep us out. She wrote notes and …” Snow wiped her eyes, took a deep breath, and continued “ Lilly the point is if Regina had not been able to break through Emma would be dead now. She nearly died from smoke inhalation anyway. She is talking to herself and we can’t have her hurting herself so she is restrained and I think Archie is the only one who can get through to her. I have to know this information for him so please if you know anything that might give us insight to her, please tell me. You can beat me later, but I really need this.”

Lilly looked at Snow as if she was from another planet. Shaking her head she repeated the one thing Snow had said that caught her attention.

“You said you have her restrained?”

“Yes. We had to so she wouldn’t try to kill herself again.”

“Emma wasn’t a virgin when she reached double digits in age. Think about that. She was beaten by foster moms, dads, sometime siblings but the beatings were one thing. She never told me how many times she had been raped but it was a lot and it started when she was very young. Do you think any of those people that did that to a child may have tied the child up at some point? And she woke up from an attempted suicide to find herself tied in a bed? I give up, you are a fucking moron. I should probably go there now and get her out. I could take better care of her than you people. God you are stupid. Get out.”

Lilly rose from her chair in the kitchen and walked to the door, opening it and motioning for Snow to leave.

“She was raped before she was ten? And beaten? By so many people? Even other kids?”

“Get out. I hope you enjoy your happily ever after bullshit with your prince because it cost Emma her life. It cost both of us our lives. Seems to me, you should take a page out of Emma’s book if you had any decency.”

Lilly slammed the door in Snow’s face. Snow stood there for a moment, staring at the door, then slowly walked to her car in a daze. She drove to the hospital, not even noticing the passage of time until she arrived in the parking lot. She should have gotten out of the car. Instead she rested her head on the steering wheel and screamed, not noticing the passerbys who watched the former hero of the Enchanted Forest having a break down in the middle of the parking lot.

After Snow had left, Archie sat for an hour with a very silent and intense looking Regina. He noted she checked her phone a few times for texts and sent back rather terse replies but other than that. continued to stare at Emma through the window.

“So how have you been Regina?” he tried.

“How the hell do you think I have been? You are a pyschiatrist and you have to ask me that? Are you sure you are qualified for this? Maybe I can get a professional from outside of Storybrooke to come here. I can use the scroll and a memory wiping spell and he or she would be none the wiser. Any suggestions on competant professionals in your field?”

Archie did not answer and resumed waiting for Emma to work her way out of the haze of drugs she found herself in.

Both noticed when Emma began tugging at her restraints. She was slowly becoming aware again.

“I suppose that is my cue.” Archie told them, raising a hand to turn down the coffee a very disheveled David had just brought up, Regina took hers gladly, feeling as if she was running on fumes.

Archie walked in and Emma’s eyes snapped to his immediately. Still glossy but that was to be expected. According to Whale she had been pretty much drugged before her awakening due to the tube in her airway and after, due to the violent display.

“Hey Emma, how are you?” he asked softly, pulling up a chair next to the bed.

“I’m good, Archie. Just a little tired.” Emma said, smiling softly at the doctor. Archie did not miss that while she was smiling and speaking softly, the muscles in her arms were coiled as she tested her bonds.

“I’m glad to hear you are feeling better. I hear you have had a rough time lately.”

“What gave you that idea?” Emma asked, the sarcasm barely present but there none the less.

“Emma do you feel like talking to me about what happened?”

“I’ll tell you whatever you want to know Archie. I made a mistake, one I regret, and now I am tied up because they don’t trust me. Archie I really, really don’t like being tied up.”

“I understand. We can get to that in a moment. Perhaps we can start with how you were feeling leading up to your incident. I realize you were grieving but was there more to it than that? Were other feelings, perhaps from your past, starting to come back to you?”

“Archie? I am not saying a thing until my wrists are set free. They can keep this cuff on but I will not talk until I am given freedom to move.”

“How do I know you won’t try to hurt yourself or others?”

Emma rolled her eyes.

“Archie I don’t think I can walk right now. My head is spinning and my vision is blurry. I just want to sleep naturally and then apologize to my family. Is that too much to ask? If I can sit up we can talk more openly.”

“Emma, I realize as Regina likes to point out, that I have my degree from a curse but the curse did give me quite a bit of insight into the human mind. How many psychiatrists have you seen in your life?”

“What does that have…”

“Because I know the game you are playing Emma. You are telling me what you think I want to hear without answering any questions, deflecting them even to get something you want, in this case the means to escape.”

Emma’s face hardened for a moment then a smile crept over her. Archie was chilled by the smile. It was not one he had ever seen on the Savior. It looked and felt evil. It reminded him of Regina before the curse. Pure malice hidden behind gleaming white teeth and blood red lips.

“Archie, I like you. I want to keep liking you. You want me to keep liking you. You see Archie they aren’t smart enough to stop me. Snow White cannot keep me tied up forever and I will get rid of this bracelet. When I do, I will get what I want.”

“You want to die. Is that it Emma?”

“No, they should have let me die. Instead they wanted me to live. They wouldn’t leave me alone and they are going to suffer for it. Have they told you I am having a baby? A precious little girl I plan to name Nimue. I plan to clean this world before she arrives of all who want to harm her, all who could harm her, especially women who throw babies into wardrobes and ship them off to hell on the off chance that kid can come back and save her and her true love. I’m making a list and checking it twice Archie and you really, really do not want your name on that list. I mean you wouldn’t want to be turned back into a cricket and dropped into a snake pit, would you? Being digested slowly, painfully, knowing that you were going to die an insignificant insect. You killed Gepeto’s parents right? Good call. He is going to wish you had killed him by the time I am through with him. Now if you want to stay on my good side, I would suggest, taking these restraints off.”

“And I would suggest for your safety and everyone elses that the straps remain on, Emma. I hate to do this to you and I know you probably have bad memories associated with being immobilized but everyone here loves you Emma. You aren’t yourself right now.”

“I’m not myself. I am what I always wanted to be. Tick tock Archie. When I am free, this town will be wishing for the days when I was the Dark One. I am going to make them all suffer.”

“Why would you do that Emma? What have these people ever done to you?”

“What have they done for me? When I was the Dark One, they couldn’t get away from me quick enough. Almost like I had a contagious disease.”

“You did turn a dwarf into stone.” Archie pointed out.

“Touche Archie. It doesn’t matter. They should have let me die. They will wish they had.”

“Regina won’t. She is worried sick about you. She has not left this hospital since you arrived.”

“I’m surprised. Is she taking care of Robin’s baby while she is here?”

“No she is not. I have not seen Robin or the baby. She is here because she cares about you.”

“Archie, I don’t want to talk about Regina and I am not talking about anything until these damn straps come off!”

“Emma you just threatened the entire town. It wouldn’t be very responsible of me or anyone else …”

“Last chance Archie. You let me go and I leave town, nice and quietly. You don’t let me go right this instant and I unleash hell.”

Archie stood up and smiled at Emma.

“I will talk to them about letting you be unstrapped but you are going to have to be in a padded room. You are self destructing right now and making threats that are unnecessary to intimidate me. When you are ready to talk I will be here.”

“You are going to have them lock me up? You do that and I will kill you Archie. I’m not fucking kidding! I won’t go back to prison! I will gut you, you fucking bastard!”

“Dr. Whale is going to give you something to help you rest Emma. I hope we can talk more when you wake.”

Archie walked out, trying to ignore the threats and screams from Emma that followed him. By this time Snow had made her way up.

“I see that went smashing Hopper. Next time I will be the one to talk to her.” Regina informed him.

“It is what I expected. Emma has suffered a psychotic break in a manner of speaking. She tried to kill herself because blamed the trauma of her life on herself and once that failed she is blaming everyone else. If she is not restrained somehow, she will be a threat to herself and others. She can’t be kept in straps forever so I think a padded room may be best to prevent self harm.”

“We will not!” Regina shouted, even over the sounds fo Emma still screaming threats into an empty hallway from her bed.

“Regina, Emma is obviously skilled at manipulating psychiatrists …”

“So you are out of your league.” Regina finished.

“I didn’t say that. I just mean that she is going to take more time to get through to. We can’t keep her tied to a bed forever. She won’t talk unless she has some sort of movement, something to make her feel safe, even a bit. If you have a better idea let me know.”

None said a word.

“Snow what did you find out from Lilly?”

Snow took a look around with red eyes and motioned to the visting room they had sat in earlier.

“I think we should go inside. Regina please come with us. I found out a lot of information that Archie needs to know. David, I hate for you to hear this but you are going to have to keep your temper in check.”

“I understand Snow.”

Emma screamed once more, a scream louder than the others. 

The lights in the hallway blew out. The bulbs disentegrated in a flash of sparks and shattered glass.

The four looked at each other in alarm.

“How strong is that cuff on her arm?” Archie asked.

They all looked to Regina but she had no answer.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina and Robin talk, Charming visits August and Emma comes to an agreement with Nimue.

Do not own OUAT or it’s characters.

Regina was reduced to riding in David Nolan’s truck. She was too tired to teleport herself home and her car had never made it to the hospital. David offered her the ride, so she could grab a change of clothes and two pillows, one for Emma to replace that horrible hospital issued rock and another for herself. The former queen felt tired enough that sleeping in a chair would not bother her. Yes, Regina’s back would make her regret it but that was no matter.

Neither she nor David said anything, lost in their own thoughts, after listening to Snow sob through her encounter with Lilly. Regina knew Emma’s childhood had been bad.

She never knew it was this bad. Horrible, devastating, it was a miracle she was not a raving lunatic, drug addict, murderer or all three when Henry found her.

And Regina had been horrible to her.

Rumple had manipulated her. Her mother had driven her to Rumple. But Regina also took blame for her part in all this. While true that without the curse neither her or Emma would have Henry, but while Regina lived in her perfect world of her own creation where her enemies cowered before her on a daily basis and she had the love of a wonderful little boy, the experiences of seeing all his firsts, Emma had been beaten, raped, starved, imprisoned, homeless and alone. She had been through hell and back all because of Regina.

All Regina wanted was Emma back. She wanted the woman who would fight for her family and friends, no matter the cost, because it was who she was. A loving caring woman who had gone through hell and come out the other side stronger. Now she wondered if that woman would ever return. It didn’t matter though. Emma had sacrificed everything for Regina, including her sanity, and Regina would never leave her side. It didn’t matter if Emma gave in to the darkness inside her, if she was pregnant with the reincarnation of satan herself, if she never smiled again, Regina would not abandon her. Perhaps if she hadn’t been so stubborn and in denial about her feelings for Emma, they would have never come to this point. 

Instead she was afraid. Afraid of what Snow and David would say, the citizens of Storybrooke thinking she was enchanting their Savior, afraid of Henry’s reaction, afraid that Emma’s infatuation with Hook was true and not the desperate attempt to hold on to someone who loved her. Afraid of walking away from who she was to believe her true love to be. She did love Robin. He was a good man with a good heart, but their was a rift between them that never could seem to close. Regina first suspected she was bitter that her sister of all people could give him what she could not, a child. While it wasn’t his fault, Regina had sent him away to care for his family, not expand it so rapidly. She left Storybrooke with Emma to save him and instead found him not really wanting to be saved. Yes he wanted Regina more than Zelena of course, but he seemed perfectly happy with Marion until he had found the truth of her identity.

Those were feelings Regina may have eventually worked out but it was not the cause of the rift. Robin and his sexual activities were not the reason she had never been able to fully give herself to him. Regina knew it was Emma. Her life had seemed to revolve around Emma in some way since the blonde had crashed into her life. From hate and fear, came grudging respect, then what seemed an unbreakable inexplanable bond to love. Regina only admitted to herself that what she felt was real love when she looked in Emma’s eyes, eyes that held no regret as the woman grabbed the dagger and took what should have been Regina’s curse into herself.

“David, Robin may be here and I will need to talk to him. I know you want to go back and I am not sure how long this will be. I will be right over when it is done, but you can leave. I will drive back.”

David nodded, not needing to ask what would take time. He had a sneaking suspicion, had for a while, cemented by the fact that Regina would not be pried from Emma’s side, that would probably be confirmed by Snow later. He knew the two women had talked more and came to an understanding but he had not had the chance to speak to his wife privately.

As David watched Regina walk slowly up her own steps he put the truck in gear and headed back to the hospital. 

The dragon slayer had never felt more helpless or felt more fear in his entire life. He was supposed to be his daughter’s protector and instead he had become a liability. He was the one who was suckered in by Arthur, nearly at the expense of his daughter’s life. His need to be a hero had caused him to be placed under a spell, a spell Merlin had to break, the daughter that he was supposed to protect.

He would die for her but death wasn’t what was needed here. He had no idea what was needed. Fighting the Evil Queen’s guards with one hand while holding his baby in the other, placing her in a magical wardrobe, sending her to who knew where, at those times he had felt fear. Never like this though. His daughter was physically safe now. She wouldn’t be able to hurt herself but she was lost. Lost in her own mind and it killed him. He had completely and utterly failed her. She was trapped in the one place he could not rescue her from.

“Mom, I wish you were here. I wish you could tell me what to do or who to fight. I wish you were here to tell me everything will be okay. What would you think of your boy if you saw how completely he failed his own daughter? She was my princess. She still is but Mom she is so lost. I let her get lost. I was supposed to protect her. I wish you could see how much she looks and acts like me. Red is even her favorite color. She has this jacket that she wears like armor. She killed a dragon with my sword. You have any idea how proud I was of her for that alone? She became my hero. She has Snow’s fire and self sacrificing tendancies but when she fights, Mom you should see her. She is a force of nature. I destroyed her. I may as well have let the Evil Queen have her because I destroyed her when I put her in that damn wardrobe.”

David often thought of the Evil Queen but he could no longer associate her with Regina. He recognized they were one and the same but were not at the same time. Regina was lost, just as Emma is now and Emma brought Regina back, banishing the Evil Queen. Had it been up to him and Snow, Regina would have been banished or imprisoned but Emma is the one who never stopped believing in her, even when others had. Now the Regina who saved a little girl from death by runaway horse was back, the Evil Queen dead all because of his little girl.

Could Regina pull Emma back? She was the only one it seemed, who got through to her when she was the Dark One. But this was different, it was no curse, not magically anyway.

“What should I do Mom?”

As if his mother answered him from Heaven (although he knew she would never approve of this) he had his answer. David had failed his daughter but he wasn’t alone. It was time he had a talk with the one man who lied to the King and Queen and his coward son who was supposed to protect Emma. It was time to visit Marco and August. Turning right instead of the left that would take him back to the hospital, he sped to the little wood working shop and home where the craftsman and his puppet son lived.

While David was deciding he had to take action in some way, Regina wanted to simply change clothes, grab a pillow, call Henry and go back to the hospital. As she suspected however, Robin was waiting for her in the parlor.

“Hey.” she greeted him in a very un Regina like fashion.

“You look awful.” Robin said in return.

“Thank you. I just stopped by for a change of clothes and a couple of pillows…”

“You are going back.” Robin said, not asking.

“Yes. RIght now she is unconscious, again, after having an enlightening therapy session with Dr. Cricket, where she threatened him with disembowlment and turning him back into a bug only to be dropped in a snake pit. Before the curse I would have made her my intern. She then proceeded to blow out the lights in half the hospital even though she was restrained and had a magic blocking handcuff on. She is being moved into a padded room and being kept on suicide watch. We are hoping it she isn’t restrained, she may relax a bit. If I can get her to calm down, I will bring her here in a few days. I believe I can enchant the house, perhaps put her up in a guest room that would be safe for her but also keep her under watch.”

“Here? You mean to bring her here?”

“Of course. Snow and David’s loft isn’t possible. I would have no rooms to enchant since everything is open. Keeping her in a normal room might help and if I can continue to calm her down, get her to talk, not to a bug this time, perhaps she will be able to move around a bit. Besides she is feeling a lot of negativity towards David and Snow and Emma should not be around babies right now. She wouldn’t harm one but she would not be in a better mood. Especially her brother who she probably believes is her replacement.” Regina explained.

“Like my baby?”

Regina froze, realizing what she had just said.

“Robin …”

“It’s okay. I know you are tired but perhaps you could sit for just a bit before you go back to her? I would like to talk.”

Regina dropped her head and walked to a chair across from Robin, with a coffee table between them. He noticed she did not sit by him as usual but did not comment.

“Regina, I once told you that perhaps it was fate that we had not met in that tavern. It wasn’t the right time. Do you remember?”

“Yes.” she whispered.

“I actually think that would have been the right time. I think now, no I know, it is too late. I love you, Regina. I truly love you but I am not a fool. I have never known women to be … with other women. I have heard about if course but living in the forest, I had a, I suppose you could say a secluded community of family and friends. Even when Emma was with Killian and we were together, I saw the way she looked at you. I saw the way you two looked at each other. She loves you and you love her. At first I assumed the two of you had a bond of sisterhood, perhaps you understood each other because of past experiences, but it is more. Only a fool would miss the way the two of you look at each other. Killian even mentioned it to me once. He was a bit insecure about it so I laughed it off of course, but he was right.”

“Yes he was.” Regina admitted, meeting Robin’s eyes for the first time, shocked by his insight.

“I know you love her and this has been terrible on all of us but it has hurt you and Henry the most. Perhaps David and Mary Margaret as well but the two of you are her family. And I know that I do not have a place in that.”

Regina’s eyes widened.

“You’re dumping me?!”

“What? No … I mean technically yes, but I thought this is what you wanted? Am I wrong? If so I am sorry.”

“No, you are not wrong but this wasn’t how it was supposed to go! You would be bullheaded and outraged and I would scream and … no, instead you want to be reasonable and I don’t know how to deal with that!” Regina practically screamed.

“I’m sorry Regina, Everything in me wants to fight for you but I know it is a losing battle. Emma needs you and you need her. I recognize this but I do not want things to end badly between us. I want to remain in each others lives. Roland adores you and my daughter needs a role model to aspire to be and I can think of no one better than you for her to look up to. I don’t want us to be angry. Was I angry after you ignored 22 texts, especially after you insisted I learn to use the damn thing? Yes I was, but a few drinks and it made sense to me. I had to own up to the reality of this situation. You are willing to enchant your house and live with a woman who tried to commit suicide and threatened a very nice man with disembowelment. That is love Regina and I won’t stand in the way.”

Regina let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding and then fought back the tears threatening to fall unsuccessfully. She wasn’t sure at this point what she was crying over, joy that Robin had understood, devastation over Emma’s life and what was happening to her now, tears for what might have been if she had gone to that tavern instead of growing into the Evil Queen and essentially ruining the life of the one person she loved most in this world or any other. 

“What about the baby? Where is she?”

“She is with one of the groupies.”

Regina’s tear stained eyes widened in shock.

“I looked it up on Google. Interesting reading material but I think I caught the gist of it. Regina my men and the women who are with us, we have grown in the forest, raised children in the forest, made lives there. We can take care of our own. She is not your responsibility but I do want you in her life. I mean I know you hate to hear this but you are Aunt Regina. You will be the only blood kin she has. You however, have more important things to do right now without the worry of children.”

“Thank you Robin.” Regina whispered. She rose and walked around the table between them, kissing him on his cheek.

“You will be okay? If you need anything, anything at all, diapers, food …”

“Regina? This isn’t the first child we have raised in our little family. Our way of living off the land is different than what you are used to but to us it is happiness. I want my children to grow up surrounded by the wonders of nature.”

“I understand…”

“But if a blizzard should come don’t be surprised to see the three of us on your doorstep asking for a room for a few days.” Robin finished with a chuckle.

“Consider it done. But that does bring up one other thing. Something you need to know and take very seriously.”

“What is it? Is Zelena coming back? Has she found a way already?”

“No just … Robin if Emma somehow escapes the hospital before we can get her to calm down and act rationally, if you see her, run. Don’t try to talk, don’t try to shoot her with an arrow, just run and call me while you are running. Promise me?”

“Of course.” Robin told her in concern. “Does she mean to harm me or the children?”

“No, not the children, I know she would never hurt a child but she may have mentioned in one of her more strenous moments that she harbors a bit of jealousy towards you and honestly I don’t want to find out what could happen. If you see her without me, just please walk the other way, or run if you are in the woods but at least call me.”

“I will. I don’t believe I have to worry though. You will reach her Regina.”

“She’s pregnant.” Regina blurted out.

“Oh…” Robin said at that statement. “Uh… congratulations? I mean I knew … how does that work? Is it a magic thing or… I mean I was under the impression that the two of you weren’t… you know, having the thing women do with other women yet. Can magic do … that?”

Regina rolled her eyes and nudged his shoulder.

“It’s Hook’s baby.” she told him, not planning on telling anyone, not even David or Snow about Gold’s theory on who Emma’s baby might be. Despite Emma telling Archie, they had all put it down to her hallucinations stemming from her recent encounters with Nimue. Regina had encouraged that line of thought. If Snow and David thought the first Dark One was going to be reincarnated as Emma’s child they would try to get Marco to build another tree to ship the baby off to Neverland as soon as she was born.

“Ahh I see. But it is also your baby now. She will need you more than ever. I have to go check on the children. If you need anything Regina, even if it just to talk, call me.”

“I will. Oh and if you want to move out of the woods, a job just opened up. The Storybrooke library is looking for a new head librarian.”

“What? What happened to Belle?”

“She is off to see the world. On Gold’s dime. Without Gold.”

Robin smiled and then the two laughed. laughing felt good for a moment until Regina realized the situation they were still all in, especially Emma.

“It’s okay to laugh Regina. She is going to need positivity.”

“I’m positive?” the former queen asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You can be, when you want. If you need me call. If not I will check in with you by text in a few days to see how Emma is doing.”

“Thank you Robin.”

“Anything for you my Queen.”

That said, Robin walked out the door and in a way out of Regina’s life. She would see him, always be connected in some way. He was a light for her in a dark time. But he would never be Emma and they both knew that. Still she did have a niece to watch over, if for nothing else, to make sure the little girl didn’t have to rely on lake water for a bath. Especially considering what they had all learned about the lake recently. Something would have to be worked out and it would eventually but not today. 

Regina walked up the stairs, stepping out of her shoes with a groan and a promise to herself to wear the sneakers she kept in the back of her closet. 

Her heart jumped when she saw two boxes lying on the floor of her closet with a red jacket draped over them.

She bent down and lifted the leather jacket to her nose, taking in the scent and holding it closely to her. It was only then that it dawned on her that the last she had seen Emma in the house, she wore the jacket but when David brought her out, she was not wearing it. Regina of course had not given it any thought but she supposed the jacket had gone up with the rest of Emma’s belongings. Dropping to her knees, she lifted the lid of the first box and was unsurprised to see Emma’s baby blanket folded on top. The rest of the contents of the boxes would include what Emma had brought with her too Storybrooke. Her entire life in two cardboard boxes.

It was time. She couldn’t hold it off any longer and here, alone in her bedroom, with Emma’s possessions, would be as safe a place as any. Regina reached into her purse and pulled out the letter Emma had written to her. If not for her and David, all she would have left of Emma would be a jacket, two boxes, a yellow VW and this letter. The thought chilled her and she forced herself to remember while reading this, that Emma was alive. For once Emma had failed at something and Regina couldn’t be happier about that failure at least. No matter what Emma was alive.

So with trembling hands she opened the perfectly folded paper.

Hey Regina,

I know you are seriously pissed off at me right now. Please just read this before you burn it into ash with a fireball. Please do that for me. There are some things I never got to say to you and it is important that I say them before I am gone.

I loved Killian. I really did. His loss has devastated me. It seems like every person in this life who has loved me for me and not what I could do for them has been taken away. No, it wasn’t true love or whatever crap my so called parent’s preach about all the time and yes I did use him to make myself feel better, lovable. But he loved me and that hasn’t been easy to come by in my life. It is a reason I keep people at a distance and the reason why I hold on so tightly when I let them in.

He isn’t the reason I have done this though. I have a lot of reasons, and I am sure you have read Henry’s letter by now and will give it to him if you ever think there is a right time, so you know how tired I am. I don’t have your strength, I wish to God I did. I know you might be wondering why I took the darkness for you. It is simple.

I love you. I love you in a way I could never love Killian or Neal or anyone else in my past. I have probably loved you even when we wanted to destroy each other. You brought out the best and worst in me but you never treated me as if I was broken or pitied me. Because I love you, I only wanted you to be happy. I can see how happy Robin makes you and I know what happens to people who love me. I would destroy you. It’s what I do. It’s my curse I guess you could say. I am not telling you this to make you feel bad. I just want you to know. I can’t die without telling you once, even if it is in a letter. I can tell you now and it will be safe for you, because I couldn’t deal with losing you too. Bad things happen to people who love me. I don’t even know if you would ever love me back or if you are or ever have been into women. Maybe what I saw in your eyes when ours met was wishful thinking on my part. I didn’t want to be rejected and I didn’t want to cause you pain in the event you did choose me. I understood why you went to help Robin instead of going to Granny’s when we thought you were all going to die. Best case scenario for me was I take you from your true love. Doesn’t make me much of a hero does it? It wouldn’t have happened anyway. I know who your priority is and that had to be the man you love. So while I understand you are angry with me, and you have every right to be, I hope you won’t hate me forever. If you have ever loved me even a little, please don’t hate me.

I wish I had gotten Excalibur from Hook. I wish I had been the one to die for all of you because then I would have my peace and Henry would grieve but remember me as a hero. I was never a hero though and I suppose he has found that out. Regina I can’t hurt anymore. I know you understand hurt and you survived but I can’t. I just can’t do it. Just promise me you will be happy. Thats all I ever wanted for you and Henry. The two of you were meant for each other. You are what I never could be to him. I have missed too much and it’s too late. 

I’m tired of the nightmares, not just of ogres and wraiths and wicked witches but of monsters worse than they ever were. Yes, there are monsters who are worse and they are very human. They have scarred my mind and heart forever before I ever found Storybrooke and those scars will never fade. That is why I set fire to the house. I want to burn. I want every trace of me gone. I don’t want to have to keep drinking half a bottle of whiskey so I can have the courage to fall asleep at night. I just want it to end and I want you and Henry happy. Please don’t hate me. Be angry, be furious but don’t hate me and be happy. I suppose I am rambling now. I know you hate that.

I am leaving everything I have to you. It should be in your closet the same time you reach home tonight while I burn my world down and find peace. Ironically, I believe I have reached my full magical potential just as you always wanted Madame Mayor. Time spent as the strongest practioner of dark magic in all the realms sort of makes you an expert quickly whether you want to be or not.

Please keep my things and one day when Henry is older, if he ever forgives me, please give them to him. I want him to have the Bug too, not to drive because I know you would never allow it to be in your driveway, but just to have. If you could put it in storage and one day, maybe if he forgives me, he might want it.

I guess this is it Regina. I wish I could have been brave enough to tell you my feelings sooner. I wish a lot of things had gone different. My time in New York with Henry showed me the life I could have had if I had kept him but there are no guarantees. Those were great memories you gave us but the reality would have been much worse. He is who he is because of you.

I love you Madame Mayor,

Your Sheriff,

Emma

Regina gently folded the letter back up and place it in a box under Emma’s blanket. There was a pain that burned so terribly in her chest she fought the urge to rip out her heart and see if it was on fire.

True love. Her true love was Henry, not some man. She decided who she loved but she had let herself forget that for a while. Regina made her own destiny. All this time she had known Emma, looked to her for support, for favor, for the unconditional love the woman had always shown her and she held back because she was afraid until it was almost too late.

No more. Regina would not be afraid anymore. Setting the boxes to the side of her closet she found one of the rare pair of jeans she owned and a simple white blouse. The Queen needed her toothbrush and a pillow as did her Princess. She would stop by Granny’s, pick up food, reassure Henry the best she could and she would be back where she belonged. Going through hell by Emma’s side.

Across town, Marco stood up from the table, where he just had dinner with his boy. The old man was coming to grips with his son’s new state. He had been grown, then young again, his little boy, and now was grown once more. The conversations between the two were awkward but getting better. Working beside his son was one of the greatest joys of his life. 

Tonight though, both were sullen, the news of what had transpired at Emma’s house already spread through town like a curse. No one even tried to explain it away as faulty wiring. Everyone knew the Savior had tried to commit suicide. Pinniochio was beside himself and hardly touched his food. Marco also knew the young man had been drinking today, though he tried to hide it.

“Son, why don’t you talk to me about what you are…”

Marco’s offer was cut short when the front door was kicked in. David Nolan, no Prince Charming at the moment, the slayer of dragons and Snow White’s love and greatest warrior stepped inside, his sword strapped to his belt and another one in his hand.

“What is the meaning of this?!” the old man shouted, rising from the table. His look of indignation turned to fear when he saw the former King, his former King’s eyes.

“You would only help us if your son was guaranteed a place in the wardrobe. The Blue Fairy lied to us. You thought sending your son, a child, was the best option for keeping a minutes old baby safe? I haven’t begun dealing with Blue yet but I feel it is time we had a talk old man. You and your son.”

“David, I admitted I wronged you both to Snow and she forgave me.”

“I didn’t.” Charming told the man calmly. “But I haven’t come to kill you Marco. I have come to address another crime against my wife’s crown. You August. Stand up.”

August stood up slowly, his eyes looking from the sword in David’s hand to the look on the man’s face of pure fury.

“You abandoned my daughter, saw the world, enjoyed your life. When you realized you were turning back into wood because of the wickedness you chose, you decided to find my daughter so she could save you. You helped Neal set her up for a crime she didn’t commit. I will never be able to prove it, but it would not surprise me if you were in some way involved with Gold in the adoption of Henry by Regina, all to get Emma here eventually. You abandoned her and used her when you felt it was to your benefit.”

August dropped his head.

“I know.” he admitted quietly.

“David please…” Marco begged.

“Call me Charming, Prince or King. Even call me James. Only friends and family call me David and you are neither Marco. August, my daughter suffered in this world. She suffered unimaginable things because of mine and Snow’s decision to put her in that wardrobe. That is somethine we are punishing ourselves for every moment. My little princess tried to kill herself last night. But you two? You lied to me old man and your son didn’t even have the decency to follow through on his promise to protect her. Seeing as how the Sheriff is in the hospital on suicide watch, the Mayor hates you and I am the only deputy in Storybrooke, I suppose we are going to have to handle this the way we did back home.”

David tossed the sword in his hand to August who caught it out of instinct.

“What is this?” August asked. Marco however knew.

“You father betrayed our kingdom and is no longer under our protection. You abandoned my daughter but you were a boy so I will let that go. But you had her sent to prison when you were a man. I can’t kill Neal but you and I are going to step outside and work this out.”

David pulled his sword. 

“See you in the front yard, August. One of us is dying tonight. Then I have to be back at the hospital to stay by Emma’s side so let’s make this quick.”

David walked outside, leaving August and Marco standing in the kitchen, both wondering how far they could run before the Prince caught them.

At the hospital the Princess had been moved to a padded room in the basement. The room had two matresses but no frame. The walls, floor and celiing were covered in a white soft foam. Only one window was in the door, the thick glass set a foot back from the foam pads to prevent the patient from bashing her head against the glass. Snow watched at the window while her Emma slept. Archie told her it may not be a good idea for her to be in the room when Emma woke. As much as she wanted to hold her daughter’s hand she did not want to make things worse.

Emma was lost in darkness again but this time it was not peaceful. This time she knew the darkness wasn’t the peace of death that she had sought but an imposed exile, a tool to keep her imprisoned. She wanted to fight but the drugs were too strong. She had felt magic earlier, despite the cuff but could not control it, not harness it to do her bidding. If she would only stop being drugged she would break the cuff. She just needed strength and focus. Focus was something she was having a hard time finding.

“Hello.”

Out of the darkness stepped an unfamiliar figure. A little girl of perhaps five or six, with long midnight black hair and green eyes. She was beautiful. She wore a red t shirt and faded little jeans, with the cutuest leather boots over them.

“Who are you?”

“You know who I am.”

“Nimue?”

“Of course.”

“Why do you look like that?”

“My soul is becoming younger. Soon I will be gone, only inside you as I grow. I won’t be able to talk to you any longer, I won’t be able to remember who I am.”

“Why? Why would you do this to yourself? Forget who you are?”

“I will remember eventually, as I grow. You will help me remember. My soul was in hell. I would rather forget and grow into my memories again than be there. I am your daughter now. You aren’t going to give me away are you?”

“Why shouldn’t I? What have you done for me?”

“It isn’t what I have done for you, it is what I can give you. I need to be loved, for the darkness inside me and the light we all have. I will never leave you Mommy. I will love you unconditionally and you will love me the same. Are you going to let them take me? You are in prison now. You know where you are. If you give birth to me here they will give me to someone else. Don’t you want a child you can keep? To show the world that you are capable? You are better than them all. I need your protection Mommy.”

Emma stared at the beautiful little girl. It was true, no matter what happened Nimue was already a part of her, her flesh and blood.

“Are you going to let Regina take another child from you? Are you going to give up again?”

“No.” Emma whispered. She would not give up.

“Snow White knows you conceived me when you were the Dark One. Who knows what lengths she will go to, to make sure I am never born. She could send me off to another realm or even the foster care system in the land without magic. Look what she did to Lilly because she was afraid you wouldn’t be born perfect. Are you going to let that happen to me?”

“No I won’t Nimue! I will never allow a child of mine to go …”

“Like Henry?”

“I made a mistake. I was young, powerless, nothing. I am not young or powerless now. She won’t hurt you. I won’t let her.”

“Swear to me Mommy. Swear to me before I have to go that you will protect me, no matter what. No matter who has to die.”

Emma felt her resolve. Yes she had been angered and frightened when she realize what Nimue had done. But seeing this little girl, a girl who would be hers, a powerful girl who would not die easily, a girl Emma had the power to protect, she understood. Nimue was not always the Dark One. She was Merlin’s true love. The man even loved her after she imprisoned him in a tree for centuries, even as he died, he still loved her. This could be a fresh start for both of them.

Her daughter.

“I swear to you Nimue, no one will harm you. I will kill them all if I have to. I will crush Snow White’s black heart before she ever lays a hand on you.”

Niume leaned forward and Emma could feel the warmth of the child’s lips on her cheek.

“Thank you Mommy. You will love me, I will love you. The two of us will never be stopped, never be threatened, never be apart. No matter what, we will always have each other. What else do we need?”

“Nothing.” Emma agreed.

“See you in seven months, Mommy. I can’t wait to be held in your arms.”

Nimue blended back into the darkness and Emma was left alone.

She was in a room. even in the darkness she knew this. Her family, even Regina, had imprisoned her. She would not lose her baby. They would not keep her here while they sent her child to some other land or worse, killed her. 

No Emma had to escape. She had to escape and hide until she figured out how to get this damn cuff off. Then the world would be hers. Gold would die slowly, perhaps Belle too. Merida was still in Storybrooke. Emma had not forgotten her threats when the Dark One had lay helpless on a couch. Arthur was nearbye and so was Snow and her Prince. 

Regina.

No she could not hurt Regina. It made no sense to her mind, Regina was as much responsible for the nightmare Emma’s life had become as anyone. Still her heart would never allow her to hurt the woman. Regina had been hurt enough. If only Robin would impregnant some other whore she could burn him at the stake, but as long as he made her happy he was safe. Only because of Regina. There was one thing Emma would not do for Regina. She would not give Regina another child of hers. Herny had chosen Regina but Nimue would be hers and hers alone. Emma just had to break out of this prison and she would. 

It was only a matter of time.


	7. Splinters

Do not own OUAT or its characters.

Chapter 7

The sword play between David and August did not last long, because that was exactly what it was, play. Play for David at least. August took three swings at David’s urging and nearly stumbled three times from the swings alone.

David tired ot his pathetic attempts and struck, breaking the former puppet’s sword in half. August closed his eyes, waiting for the killing strike only to find himself on the ground with a crushed nose, courtesy of the Charming’s fist.

“How was it August? Ruby told us all about the adventures you bragged about in the diner. How was Thailand?” David asked, standing over the man.

August tried to talk, but blood poured from his nose with the attempt. The pain made his breath hard to come by.

“Enjoy the women? The booze? Was the scenery nice? Lived on a beach right? I bet Emma would have enjoyed that if she hadn’t been in prison! Of course she wasn’t in prison the entire time, was she? No, she was getting raped and beaten and starved! Where were you? Getting blowjobs in the jungle?”

David pulled the man up by his collar and forced him to stand. August was dizzy, having never been in a physical altercation despite the adventures of his life. He did not know the pain of being struck by another human, but David was giving him a very thorough lesson.

“Or maybe she was homeless? How old were you when you began to turn back into the tree you are? 24? 25? You found her and decided she needed to calm down, is that it? A nice stay in prison so you could keep track of her?”

David hit the man again, this time a straight punch in the chest that left August feeling like the Evil Queen had just ripped out his heart. He hit the ground once more, rolling on his hands and knees when David kicked him in the ribs.

David looked up at Marco who was standing in the yard, tears streaming down his face.

“This? This pathetic excuse for a man is who you trusted my daughter’s safety with? You lied, betrayed the trust we had in you so you could send a damn puppet to defend your princess? I’m going to enjoy killing him in front of you.”

Though it was dark, David only saw red, lost in a haze of rage. He had only had this happen a few times in his life, all in battles, fighting for Snow’s life and her kingdom, including the woodworker.

“Get up Puppet. Get on your feet.” he hissed.

August did his best to obey, but unable to catch his breath, and his airway compromised by his shattered nose, he was not able to even climb to his knees.

“Fine. Die on the ground then.” David walked over to his sword and lifted it from the ground. Standing over the man, he raised the blade.

“David.”

The one voice he did not expect to hear, called out behind him calmly. He turned and saw Granny standing on the sidewalk.

“Go away. You don’t need to see this.”

‘Maybe not but you do. You need to see what you look like. Snow wouldn’t want this. Emma wouldn’t want this.”

“If you ask Snow right now, she may have a different opinion Eugenia. She is at the hospital watching Emma being placed in a padded cell so she won’t kill herself or anyone else around her. I’m fairly certain if Emma were here she would be taking the sword out of my hand and using it herself. On both of us.”

Granny walked closer to the man she had always seen as a surrogate son.

“That’s not true, David.”

“Yes it is. You know what I have done. I took a girl from her mother, filled her with darkness, not trusting Emma to be able to handle it as she got older. I filled that child with darkness and banished her to another land. It was evil and selfish and wrong and I did it anyway.”

“You didn’t know that would happen.”

“I shouldn’t have done it in the first place! It didn’t matter anyway. Darkness still found my girl. Do you know, really know what has been done to her? Do you? That is my fault! I sent her away hoping she could save everyone and she did! She saved everyone but who saved her? Nobody! When she is better, she can kill me. I deserve it, but this fucking piece of shit deserves to die too!”

“Regina thought the same thing about everyone she felt wronged her for many years. How did that work out for her?”

“It’s not the same!”

“Yes it is. Look at the boy, David.”

“He wronged my family. He and the old man. I have every right to do this. This may not be the Enchanted Forest but until someone tries to stop me an I am still king and I am still her father and I want to kill him!”

“David look at me.”

David turned from the broken man on the ground and looked at the old lady. “I know you are hurting. We are all hurting. We all love her and she has had a lot put on her, a lot she didn’t ask for but Emma, the Emma we all know under whatever she has going on, would not want this. If she were here doing this you would be telling her the same thing.”

“I would be cheering her on. She has had every right to do this to him, to all of us since she learned the truth.”

“And she didn’t.”

“David man, look at me.”

David looked to the right of Granny and saw Grumpy had stepped up.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, surprised to see the Dwarf not drunk at this time of night.

“I was at the diner when Marco called Granny. I figured if I tried to stop you it wouldn’t have gone well. I knew she could kick your ass.”

David let out a breath. his heart rate slowing down.

“I think he has paid, Charming.” Grumpy said, looking sadly at the man on the ground.

“He hasn’t begun to pay. None of us have. Not Snow, not Rumple and not me. But we will, we all will and I won’t stand in her way. She is gone. You haven’t seen her eyes man, she is gone. That darkness we were afraid of when she was the Dark One? It’s nothing. She fought that, she isn’t fighting this, Leroy. I won’t keep her locked in a cage forever. She will get free and we will all get what we deserve.”

“She might surprise you, David,” Granny told him, touching his cheek. “You and Snow always found each other what makes you think Emma won’t find her way back?”

“She has no one she wants to find. Hook is dead, not that he deserved her. She took the darkness and shared it with him to keep him alive and how does he thank her? He tells her how he played her and then targeted her family.”

“And he made the right decision at the end.” Granny pointed out.

“A decision that killed him but destroyed her. She has no one to find. She has no one. The ones who love her have always let her down. We don’t deserve her.” David told the woman in a broken voice. Then he dropped to the ground, elbows on his knees, hands covering his face.

“David she does have someone to find, someone who will find her.”

“Yeah Granny? Who?”

“You know, Dave.” Grumpy told him, kneeling down next to her. “Anybody with eyes for the past couple years in this town knows who will bring her back.”

“Regina.” David whispered. “But she…”

“Loves your daughter and if this isn’t the eye opener she needs to see that I will have a talk with her myself. Why don’t you give them a chance to find each other before you go on a killing spree?” Granny suggested.

“That piece of shit isn’t worth your blade, Dave. You have always been a hero to me and to all of us. No you ain’t perfect but who the hell doesn’t have regrets, made mistakes? Who hasn’t made some pretty bad damn decisions that we wish we could take back? He is just a coward who has to live with his actions. He keeps getting second chances from Fairies but he knows who he is. Marco knows who he raised. Just let it go. We need to get to the hospital right? Emma is going to want her Daddy there when she wakes up.” Grumpy reminded him. David laughed.

“She woke up earlier and spit on me.”

“So, she has your manners. Just another trait she picked up from you. I hear father daughter relationships are complicated especially when they are the same age. Man you gotta be there, even when it isn’t easy. Beating this piece of shit is easy. Go to the hospital. Your wife and daughter need you.” Grumpy reached out his hand and David took it, pulling himself up from the ground.

David glanced back at the puppet on the ground. “What about him?”

“Don’t worry about him. I’ll help Marco get him to the hospital and make sure they stay away from you. If he decides to press charges I doubt there is any law enforcement in town that will take his statement. Seems to me I saw the whole thing and he tripped. Repeatedly. Who messes with the King anyway, right?” Granny asked, pulling David in for a hug.

“I’m not a King.” he whispered.

“You’re our King. Now go to your family and we will clean up this mess.”

David nodded at Grumpy, picked up his sword and made his way to the truck. Behind him he was pretty certain he heard what sounded like another kick to the ribs, judging by the sound of air rushing from August.

He supposed Grumpy wasn’t anymore forgiving than he was.

In the basement of Storybrooke General, Snow breathed a sigh of relief when Regina walked to the door.

“Thank God you are here.”

“What’s wrong?” Regine asked immediately. What could have happened in the short time she had been gone? Did the cuff break? Did Emma injure herself again?”

“I just hated being alone. I know it’s pathetic but I really need you and David with me. This is … I can’t watch and I have to and I want to hold her hand but Archie said she may attack me but I don’t know what to do! If she wakes and I am not by her side what is she going to think? What if I am by her side and she doesn’t want to see me? She is just lying there mumbling to herself. It’s like she is talking to someone while half asleep but I can’t hear anything.”

Regina uncharacteristically, (which lately had become the norm) wrapped her arms around her former step daughter, if for no other reason than to stop the rambling. Snow clung to her like a life preserver in a storm.

“What took you so long?” Snow finally asked.

“Robin was at my home, waiting on me.”

Snow pulled back, looking at Regina.

“It’s over Snow.”

The woman let out a breath she had been holding. No she had not had time to process the fact that the only woman still alive who she had ever seen as a mother was in love with her daughter but it didn’t matter. Snow was not blind to love and saw what everyone else did when Emma and Regina looked at each other. Two sides of the same coin. She had feared Robin would be an issue and was glad he would not be now.

“Robin took it okay?”

“He was actually the one who suggested it. He knew…”

Snow nodded her head in understanding, glad the man, who she thought of as a friend, had seen what they all had and bowed out gracefully.

“And you?”

“I’m fine, Snow. Relieved a bit actually. Maybe the fact that it doesn’t really hurt tells me something I should have realized long ago. When he left with who we all thought was Marion, the idea of being alone devastated me, but once he was back, it just wasn’t the same. It doesn’t matter. Has she woken fully at all?”

“No, Archie told Whale to give her some medication. She should be relaxed for a while. Is David parking the truck? I thought you were bringing back your own car?”

Regina’s brow furrowed. “I did. I talked to Robin, drove to Granny’s to check on Henry, who is of course still devastated but calm, and came straight here. David should have been back long ago.”

“Did he stop by Granny’s? Maybe he went to the loft to grab a change of clothes.”

“I don’t know. I went upstairs to talk to Henry. He told me Granny received a phone call and left in a hurry but had no idea what it was about.”

“Oh God, do you think …”

“I’m fine Snow. Sorry for the delay. I had to take care of something.” David told her, walking up. Her eyes scanned him as usual to make sure he was okay. He looked tired, defeated, the same look he had since they first brought Emma to the hospital. But something else was wrong.

“Your knuckles have blood on them.” she gasped.

David lifted his fist and then dropped it nonchalantly.

“Sorry. No need to worry, dear, it’s not mine. I’ll go wash my hands.”

Snow grabbed his arm before he could walk away.

“What did you do, David?” she asked, not in judgement but more of curiosity.

“I visited August and Marco. Marco is fine.”

Snow’s face hardened and she nodded her head. “Good, go take care of that, and make sure there are no splinters. If there are I wll pull them out.” she kissed Charming who gave her a sad smile and walked off to the bathroom upstairs.

“Snow, why don’t you follow him? I plan to go inside and wait until Emma wakes up. I will talk to her and see if she will agree to meeting with you and David.” Regina ordered in a manner that was meant to convey suggesting.

“What if she attacks you?”

“Then I am the one person who can restrain her with no injury to her or myself. She won’t though.”

“I should be here. I will stand out here in the hall. I won’t even look in the window but I can’t leave her Regina.”

“You are going to have to go home eventually Snow. You have a child that is being taken care of by a woman who once promised her first born to Rumple. You should probably see that he is safe sooner than later.”

“I won’t leave her.”

“Fine, we can talk about this later, but we have no idea how long this will take. I am hoping in a few days I can have her calm enough to move her into one of the guest rooms. I believe with a litte research I can keep her confined there and prevent her from hurting herself. Until then I will be the one to stay here. I can conjour a bed inside her room.”

“You would do … of course you would. But I can’t leave right now Regina. Not while she is in this place. What if she … of course she wouldn’t attack you in your sleep. I’ll check on David and be right back down. I’m going to grab some chairs so we can at least sit in the hallway.”

Snow walked off slowly. Once she was out of sight Regina called for the nurse.

“Nurse Ratched.”

“Yes Mayor Mills?”

“Unlock this door and lock it behind me.”

The nurse’s facial expression never changed, it never did, but she did hesitate to perform her duty.

“Problem Nurse Ratched?”

“Dr. Whale and Hopper said no one should be near the patient until her mental state can be assessed…”

Before the Nurse could finish repeating her instructions she was lifted off the ground by an unseen force and forced to stare into the eyes of a very angry Queen.

“I can appreciate your dedication to following orders but I believe your loyalty is misplaced. Rumors of my reform may have been greatly exagerated. I made this town and I still rule it. When I give you an instruction, you are to obey it immediately. Do not question me or my orders ever again unless you want to find yourself locked in one of these wards. Do I make myself clear?”

Nurse Ratched’s facial expression actually changed, partially to the tightness surrounding her throat as she floated in the air but mostly due to fear. Regina’s normally brown eyes were glowing with a purple light, one that no one has ever wanted to see in person. She nodded furiously.

“Good.” The nurse floated to the ground. “I won’t apologize because apparently order has to be restored but I do hope that won’t have to happen again. You are a very valuable resource and I would hate to lose you but I will if I must. I will be staying with Emma. I expect you to understand she is royalty and will be treated as such. Her food will be either brought from my home, her mothers or Granny’s Diner. There will be absolutely no rumors leaked around town as to what is going on. The peasants have enough gossip to keep them busy. If she screams because of a nightmare or hurts one of the idiot orderlies then that is kept secret and I will burn anyone who breaks that confidence. I will walk her to and from the bathroom as she needs it. When I order you or your replacement to open the cell you will. No one has access without my approval until I am sure she can remain calm. Not Whale, not Hopper, not even her parents. Emma can be very dangerous, even, no, especially without magic. I do not want to risk her harming others or being harmed herself. I am not saying that these people cannot come into the room, only that you have my permission first. Are we clear?”

“Yes your Majesty.”

“Regina is fine dear. Just so we understand who is in charge. Now open the damn door.”

Regina could have simply teleported inside but the show of power made her feel as if she was doing something, even if it was just terrfying a nurse. She had hoped to regain some feeling of power or control over this situation, but instead she still felt tired and very, very depressed. A snap of her fingers and a soft white cushioned chair appeared in the corner next to the bed.

Regina sat back and watched the blonde mumble to herself, unable to make out the words. Finally after an hour the mumbling stopped and Emma fell into an uneasy sleep. Regina studied her as she slept, taking in the drastic changes had occured in such a short time. Before she had taken on the Dark Curse, Emma had always been able to smile. Her hair was as bright as sunshine, full of life as were her ermerald green eyes. Even in Camelot before the worst happened, she seemed so sad but also full of hope. The power she displayed in freeing Merlin, still lit a fire in Regina. Her pride at seeing Emma take on Merlin herself in an attempt to rescue them all, fooling Zelena in the process showed her what the blonde was capable of. So much power and so much love. 

Before Hook’s death, her eyes were cold and her hair was silver, no longer flowing freely as it had. She had never seen Emma smile as the Dark One but she saw her cry. She saw the look of rejection on her face when Regin refused to let her in the house to talk to Henry, after learning what she had done.

Now the curse was over. Emma was supposed to be Emma again. Instead her long locks were dry, frizzy, wild, and her skin was ashen. Her eyes were sunk and her face remained drawn. She had lost weight as the Dark One. Always slim Emma really had no weight to lose but she supposed eating wasn’t a priority in the past few months for the blonde.

Regina saw what had happened to Emma. Would she recover? She now knew the smile Emma showed to the world, was another one of her walls to hide the hurt she felt. She hid her pain behind strength and once that strength failed her the pain was unleashed.

And now she would have a child. 

After three hours in which Snow’s head popped up in the window three times before seeing Regina glaring and backing away, Emma finally began to stir.

The first thing she did was flex her arms before her eyes even opened. The second thing Emma did was run her right hand over her left wrist, feeling the cuff still there. At that point her eyes opened up and darted around the room.

Then emerald eyes landed on Regina.

Regina tensed, not knowing exactly how Emma would respond. She was prepared to hold Emma immobile if she had to without physical damage to either of them, but would prefer to avoid that. Regina had taken a gamble that Emma would not hurt her and would soon find out if it paid off.

“Regina.”

“Emma. How are you feeling?”

Emma stretched her legs out and slowly turned to sit on the bed. Once her feet hit the soft foam floor she lifted an eyebrow in a very Regina like fashion.

“So it’s true.” Emma whispered.

“What is true?”

“You have me locked up in prison. Let me guess, for my own protection?”

“Yes Emma. I don’t want you to be here, I would like for you to leave as soon as possible but I have to know you aren’t going to hurt yourself.”

Emma laughed softly, but there was no humor behind it.

“Is that what you are worried about? Me hurting myself? Because judging by this little bracelet on my wrist I would say you are more worried about me hurting other people.”

“Should I be?” Regina asked, keeping her voice as neutral as possible.

Emma shrugged her shoulders and stood.

“So you have me in a hospital gown, locked away and helpless. Pregnant right? Isn’t that what Mommy dearest, the fairest of all the bitches in the land, said? I’m curious, Regina, is this some plan to have a new child, because I only gave you one? I’m not your incubator.”

Regina flinched at that but kept her cool. Emma was baiting her and she knew it. She knew Emma, maybe not exactly what she was thinking, but she knew her cutting remarks were a defense mechanism. Regina employed the same technique. Despite the two’s differences they were very similiar.

“I don’t want your child Emma. I’m here with you because I don’t want you to do anything you might regret.”

“Anything you might regret you mean. Where is my Mommy and Daddy? Trying to find some way to send the darkness in me into someone else and kick them to another realm? I think that was a one time deal. Bring Mommy here. I want my Mommy.” 

Emma stepped closer to Regina who did not rise, doing her best to remain relaxed as she sat.

“I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to see either Snow or David right now.”

“Why not? I can kill them and you can take baby Rumple. A matched set of Charming boys. Won’t that be nice?”

Emma’s easy going tone was natural to hear from her mouth but the venom of the words was shocking. Regina steeled herself as Emma stepped closer.

“Shouldn’t you be having wild forest sex somewhere?”

“Robin and I have actually mutially parted ways. We are no longer involved.”

Emma stopped moving. For the first time her face showed anger.

“I give up my life for you to be happy and you mutually parted ways? What the fuck Regina?!”

“I never asked you to give up your life so I could be with Robin.”

“Really? Because I seem to remember you playing Savior in Camelot because it was too dangerous for me to perform magic and the next moment, begging me to save him, magic be damned. I realize you think I am crazy but I have no memory problems.”

“You didn’t deny you were crazy at least. I read your notes to me and Henry.”

Emma stopped and turned away from Regina, not wanting to face her any longer.

“Is that why you left him? You feel sorry for me? I tell you I love you and you feel sorry for me? I don’t want your pity. I was supposed to be dead before you read that.”

“Sorry to disapoint you. No I don’t feel pity for you. Why should I? I feel pity for Henry…”

“Henry, Henry, Henry. All I ever here from you is about Henry! Is that all you think about? Or does Roland and baby green figure into the picture? Have some custody arrangement worked out with the man in tights to let you keep those two as well?”

Regina broke her promise to herself and lost her cool. Standing she walked right behind Emma and turned her around roughly.

“Say what you want about anyone but those children! They have done nothing to you! Henry loves you! He is devastated by what…”

“Go to Hell Regina! Go back to Robin, get away from me. Just go! You aren’t going to keep me in here just because you have some incesant need for control! That’s all you are, a damn control freak! The only difference between you and Snow is you don’t believe you are some kind of saint.”

“I am not trying to control you, I am trying to protect you!”

“Then why do you have that dagger in your purse!? You think I can’t feel it, sitting there in your $1000 bag on the padded floor? You afraid you are going to have to have Rumple handle me? I got news for you Regina, I am ready for him. Take this cuff off and I will destroy him. Don’t and I will just beat the hell out of him until I die from old age or boredom!”

“How do you know the dagger is in my purse?” Regina asked, backing up closer to the bag.

“Give me a break. You think I want that thing? Do you think I need it?” Emma asked with a sneer Regina had never seen before.

“I’m thinking that giving you any sharp object is a good idea right now actually, Miss Swan.”

Emma stopped walking towards Regina.

“You think I would hurt you Regina?” the blonde asked, genuine hurt in her voice. “I would never hurt you. You are the only one I know who has been raped as much as I have been. You are the only one who has been used as much as I have been. You are the only one who I have ever truly loved. Thats why I could never tell you. I didn’t want to destroy you. I would never hurt you. Now let me out.”

Regina physically stepped back at Emma’s words. She wanted to deny what she said, at least about the rapes…

“I haven’t been raped Emma.”

“So I guess you wanted to sleep with dear old grandpa and wanted to be the mother to his brat daughter? I’m not stupid Regina, I know your story and it doesn’t take much to put it together. You were four years older than Snow and she set you up to be raped. Marriage didn’t matter and him being a king didn’t matter. He had no right to sleep with someone your age, no matter who he was or what your mother wanted.I am glad you killed that bastard. Too bad you didn’t finish the job and take her out too.”

Regina sat back down, grabbed her purse and pulled it to her lap.

“I want my clothes. I gave you my clothes and I want them back. Bring them to me. First take this fucking cuff off of me.”

“No, I will not. You are angry and hurting right now and you are going to lash out at yourself or others and I know you will regret that one day.”

“Talk about hypocrisy, dear.” Emma heard and looked behind her. She was here.

“What are you doing here, Sarah?”

Ingrid stood against the back wall, smiling at Emma sadly.

“I’m always with you. We are family. You know I love you Emma. I am the only one who has only wanted what was best for you.”

“I know. I wish you were here. You would never let her do this to me. You weren’t afraid of my magic.”

“Emma who are you talking to?” Regina asked, not recognizing or remembering Ingrid’s name that she used as Emma’s foster mom. Emma was staring at a wall, having a conversation with someone who was not there. It reminded her of Emma’s conversations with the Dark One in her head while in Camelot. Regina suspected this was not a Dark One. This was a hallucination.

“She thinks I’m not here Emma.”

“Are you?”

“Am I real to you?”

“Yes.”

“Emma! Who the hell are you talking to?” Regina asked again, voice raised.

Emma turned back to Regina, not surprised by the concern on her face. Not even Regina understood. Some ghosts never go away.

“Family. Go get my clothes but take this cuff off first.”

“Emma, are you talking to Nimue?” Regina asked, looking intently at Emma’s face.

“No, you know where Nimue is. Don’t you? I can tell by your face. Despite your best efforts, you are a bad liar, at least to me. I know every nuance of that beautiful face so many people are afraid to look at. I know why you ask certain questions that you already suspect the answer to. You are a step away from a Miss Swan again, aren’t you? You know where Nimue is and you can’t have her! She is mine!” Emma screamed, taking two long strides to place her directly in front of Regina. The Queen however, stood her ground.

“I am going to ask one more time, who are you talking to?”

“The only woman who has ever been a mother to me. The one that died to save you all. The one I should have gone away with and saved her life. All she wanted was me and Elsa. We were enough for her and I turned my back on her.”

“She tried to take Elsa’s sister from her forever. She was no saint, Emma.”

“And neither am I.” the blonde responded coldly. Turning back to the wall she was disapointed to see Ingrid was gone.

“Great, you scared her away Regina. Why can’t you leave me alone when I am having conversations? You interferred and now she is gone. Take this fucking cuff off of me before I take it off myself. If I have to do it myself I swear to everything you hold sacred you will regret it. I won’t be in prison. You have no right to keep me here. I have done nothing wrong!”

“You tried to burn yourself alive!”

“Thats my right! I didn’t hurt anyone. I haven’t committed any crimes!”

“Techincally suicide is a crime and so is arson!”

“I can burn down my own property. I owned that house free and clear and if I want to burn it down I can.”

“Yes you own the house. Free and clear. How did you manage that on your salary, especially considering you haven’t worked in months?” Regina asked, trying to keep Emma involved in a conversation, even an argument, with a real person.

“I don’t know. How do you live in a ten million dollar mansion on the salary of a small town mayor? I suppose we both have our ways don’t we? All magic may come with a price but price isn’t a problem when you have magic, right?”

“Well Emma, that house may have been your property but we do having zoning laws and ordinances in regards to burning in the city limits. You could also have ignited a gas line, which is hooked up to other houses and provided by the city.”

“And this gives you the right to lock me in a padded room, making me helpless and dependant on you? You have to know how I feel about being behind bars. You have to Regina… would you shut up! Go play with Milah, you asshole!” Emma screamed, looking to her right.

Regina froze, wondering what the hell she was talking about… or to. Milah. Hook.

“Emma? Is Hook here?”

Emma rolled her eyes. Of course he was here. Ghosts never went away.

“See what you’ve done? Now Regina thinks I’m crazy.” she told the smirking pirate leaned against the wall. His eyes were still dark and he appeared as dark as ever, just as he was when he told her she was pathetic.

“Maybe because you’ve lost your bloody mind, love. You realize they are never going to let you keep that baby? Niume may have gotten away from me but she isn’t going to get away from Snow and Regina.”

“Regina won’t take her and I will handle Snow.”

“Emma, look at me!” Regina placed her hands roughly on Emma’s cheeks and forced the blonde to face her.

“No one is there! It isn’t real! If you will let me help you we can stop the voices, make them go away. Just focus on me. Just focus on me. No one will try to take your baby away Emma.I will kill anyone who tries, I swear to you.”

“See Killian? She will stop anyone who tries to take my baby.” Emma told the vision.

“Technically our baby, Swan. By the way shouldn’t you be on your way to my funeral? I really have to go. Can’t be late to my own funeral. Wouldn’t be good form, you understand.”

Hook disappeared in front of her eyes.

“Oh shit Regina, I have to get to Killian’s funeral! I have nothing to wear! My black dress burned up. I think it did. Do you have a black dress I can borrow? What time is it?”

“Emma, Hook … Killian was buried yesterday.” Regina told her softly.

“Yesterday?”

“Yes.”

Emma walked over to the bed and sat down, looking crushed.

“Were you there? Was anyone?”

“I don’t know who all was there but yes I am sure many people were there. He was loved Emma. I have been with you the entire time, along with Snow and David.”

For once Emma had no reaction to those names. Instead she continued staring at the floor.

“I should have loved him more. He loved me more, I should have loved him more.”

“You did love him Emma.”

“Not enough. I couldn’t … I tried. He is the only person I have had sex with in the past four, no probably five years. I fucked him once, got pregnant and he died. I thought he loved me but I’m not sure. I just couldn’t give my heart away, you know? You! Damn it, if it wasn’t for fucking Robin Hood I would have been with you and Hook … no then you would be dead. You wouldn’t want me anyway but if you had you would be dead. Death follows me everywhere, Regina.”

“That is not true Emma. And I did, I do love you, but this isn’t the time for that. Now we need to be focused on you getting better.”

“I’m fine.”

“You are talking to people who are not there.” Regina pointed out.

“They are there. They are all I have left until my baby is born. Once she is born, she can’t die. She won’t. I won’t let anyone harm her. Fuck doing the right thing. If you hadn’t stopped me your sister would be dead and this would have ended. You had to do the right thing and what happened? You all almost died and Hook died. Don’t you see Regina? All this time I have been telling you that you could change but it was me that needed to change. I needed to be more like you.”

“No! Never say that Emma! Never!” Regina stressed, kneeling in front of Emma and taking her cold hands.

“Judgemental little thing for someone called Evil, isn’t she? This is the ho you are fucking now? You should have stayed in prison and kept being my bitch.”

Emma scrambled off the bed on the other side of Regina and turned.

“Stay away from me.” she whispered.

Eleanor Green. A white woman, six feet tall, 220 pounds, 44 years old with a shaved head and eyes that had no soul. Her former cell mate, serving twenty years for five counts of manslaughter.

“Why the hell should I? I told you just cause you changed cells you would still be mine Swan. Least till you started really showing. Maybe you need me to beat your ass again and remind you? Ain’t no guards here gonna put your pregnant ass in protective custody this time. What are you gonna do to protect yourself? This is just another prison. Maybe I might try your girlfriend.”

“No!” Emma screamed and ran towards the woman, landing a punch to her jaw before she could attack. Emma at 18 was weak and scared, Emma at 30 would not back down to anyone. She could defend herself and Regina. She wouldn’t be victimized by this woman anymore.

Green’s face felt surprisingly soft, not that it mattered. Emma continued to swing and though the woman didn’t swing back, she did laugh. She kept laughing no matter how many times Emma hit her.

Regina stood back in shock, watching Emma pound the padded walls with her fists then the floor as if she were on top of someone. The blonde was screaming, and Regina was at a loss if she should use magic to restrain her. The pads were soft but eventually Emma would be hurt by the force of the blows she was throwing.

Regina decided against using magic and instead jumped over the bed grabbing Emma’s arms from behind and pulling her away from the wall.

“Let me go Regina! I have to stop her, you don’t know what she is capable of! You need to get out of this cell, please!” Emma begged. “I can take her. She won’t do that to me again!”

Regina locked her grip on Emma from behind and both of them tumbled back to the bed, Regina hitting first with Emma on top still trying to break free.

“Stop this right now Miss Swan! She is gone! She is not there! Open your damn eyes!”

Emma shook her head slowly and stared at the wall, still tense.

“She is probably going to be in the yard. She will be waiting for me there. She’s pissed I reported her and she is going to hurt me Regina. She is going to hurt the baby.” Emma whimpered.

“I won’t let anyone hurt the baby or you Emma, I swear.”

“Tale off this cuff Regina. I can fry her.” Emma whispered, relaxing a bit.

“That is exactly why I cannot take off the cuff. You will be trying to fry people who are not there. Please just listen to me. You are seeing things that are not real Emma. I can help them go away but you have to calm down and talk to me.”

Emma rolled off of Regina and buried her face in the matress. Regina stood up and stretched, having a sneaking suspicion that she is going to wish she had worked out as hard as Emma has these past couple years before this was over.

If it was ever over.

“Go home Regina. Henry is hungry.”

“Henry is fine. I’m not going to go home until you are ready to come with me. FIrst you need to calm down and tell me when you are seeing other people in this room. I promise no one is here and you are seeing things. If you talk to me I can prove that to you.”

“You want to take me to your home?” Emma asked, quietly, still lying on the bed and trying to catch her breath.

“Yes, if you can calm down and perhaps we can find some medication to stop you from seeing things, medication that will not harm the baby, then yes, I will have a room prepared and you will stay at our home. But you cannot act like this around Henry, Emma. I have to be sure you won’t hurt yourself in front of him.”

The remaining tension left Emma as she tried to process this information. Finally Emma shook her head.

“I’m not going to live with you Regina. I won’t even stay there. I’m better on my own, always have been, always will be.”

Regina was not surprised. She knew it wouldn’t be easy.

“That may be Emma but I am the only one who can get you out of here and to do that, you are going to have to come stay with me. You have no other place. Yours burned down, as you know since you have no memory problems.”

Regina snapped her fingers and a small bed materialised where her chair had been.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting ready for bed. Do you need to go to the restroom before we turn in for the night?”

“You are staying here? With me in this cell?” Emma asked in disbelief.

“Of course. You said it yourself in the mines when the trigger was activated, you aren’t strong enough but maybe together we are. So I am going to stay in this room, not a cell, with you, until you decide that maybe getting rid of these delusions is in the best interest to your child and yourself and begin taking medication, eating, stop thrreatening to gut people and generally get your act together.”

“I don’t want you here.”

“I don’t care.” Regina retorted and lay back on her own bed. Emma carefully studied the brunette.

“I must be crazy. I swear i see you in blue jeans right now.” Emma muttered to herself.

“Go to sleep Emma. In the morning we need to talk about seeing your … Mary Margaret and David. They are worried about you, too.”

“Fuck them. Mary Margaret is dead. Snow killed her.”

“They are outside in the hallway. They haven’t left and will probably be here all night.” Regina went on, ignoring Emma’s crass comment.

“Fuck … Them.”

“So will you talk to Archie?”

“Nope.”

Regina sighed.

“There is one person I will talk to, I want to talk to.”

“And who would that be dear?”

“I want to see Lilly and I want to talk to her alone.”

Regina instantly tensed, remembering Emma nearly killing the other woman on the highway.

“I am not bringing someone in here for you to hurt Emma.”

“I won’t hurt her. I’m not angry with her. It isn’t her fault she was the way she was. I just want to talk to her. Let me talk to her alone and I will take whatever drugs you want me too and see anybody you want me too.”

“Really?”

“Yep. No kidding Regina.”

“You won’t try to hurt her?”

“Regina I feel so damn weak I am pretty sure she could kick my ass, I just want to see her. I need my friend.”

“Then why do you need to see her alone?” Regina asked.

“Make it happen or get the fuck out of my cell.” Emma told her and rolled to her side facing away.

Maybe Regina did love her, maybe she felt sorry for her, maybe she felt she owed Emma a debt because of Henry. It didn’t matter.

If there was anyone who could help her escape it would be her old lover and current dragon. Lilly owed her. Lilly would do whatever Emma asked. She owed her.

All she needed was to get Lilly here alone with Regina not around and she would be free. Regina did not need to be a part of what Emma planned. She closed her eyes, hoping no ghosts would bother her tonight. In her head she went over her list. So many miles to travel and people to see but it would all be worth it in the end. Her baby would never be hurt by the people who hurt her. She would make the world safe for Nimue.


	8. Lilly comes to visit

Do not own OUAT or it’s characters.

Chapter 8

Regina woke with a start the next morning, thinking first that Emma had escaped somehow. She immediately looked across the room and saw the blonde on her own bed, on her back, with her eyes closed. After the night they had, Regina expected Emma to stay up all night talking to hallucinations or waking from nightmares screaming. Regina was relieved to find Emma had apparently succumbed to a peaceful sleep.

Emma had Regina fooled though. Her eyes may be closed now, they had been closed all night, but she had not slept. She lay in quiet contemplation, focused on one thing and one thing only.

Escape.

Regina had lay on her side facing Emma all night, her arms wrapped around her purse, the purse that held the dagger that called out to her constantly. Emma chuckled to herself, she didn’t want the dagger for what it wanted her for. It wanted her to take up the mantle once again, this time by killing Rumple. No, Emma had no desire to be tied to that weakness, able to be controlled by others. She had been controlled in one form or fashion for a long time. Before Storybrooke she had finally found a release, an escape. She moved, often and randomly. Her job allowed her to let out her agression while at the same time, forming no close bonds or roots. If she was just passing through unnoticed, no one could try to control her.

But Emma did want the dagger for one thing and one thing only. The blonde knew it could slice the cuff off her wrist. The problem was getting it. At any time throughout the night, she could have quietly walked over and ripped the purse from Regina while she slept. Regina would most likely not use magic on her, but she would try to hold on to the dagger. That meant a physical altercation. Regina would be hesitant to use any force on Emma due to her pregnancy and even if she did, the mayor who sat behind a desk for the past 30 years was no match for her physically despite Regina’s incredible body.

But Regina would be hurt and that was one thing Emma would not do, one line she would not cross. No harm would come to the woman, from anyone, including herself. Emma wanted that dagger to free herself but she would have to use another method. Listening to the woman’s breathing all night, Emma knew Regina had awoken. She opened her eyes slowly, wondering who would be visiting her today. In her mind she thought she understood that the people who visited her, outside of her previous conversations in the darkness with her daughter, were not real. Perhaps they were ghosts, perhaps they were delusions, but it didn’t matter. They were real to her. They made her feel fear, sorrow, hurt and Emma wanted nothing to do with them. She also knew they wouldn’t go away, not until she had freed herself.

Emma stood from the bed, still annoyed that she was wearing a hospital gown. She had not eaten or drank anything in the past 24 hours and didn’t care. The blonde recognized she would need to do so soon. She needed her strength and the baby needed her to be strong, but this morning, she simply wanted to brush her teeth. 

First a workout was required. She had to stay strong. The effects of the sedatives were wearing completely off and to pull off this escape, she needed to be ready. Not feeling like performing pushups in the hospital gown, Emma simply took it off and got into position on the floor, completely nude, to begin pushups.

Regina was taken aback, not knowing what was going on. Was Emma trying to seduce her, shock her, or simply losing any inhibitions she may have had as a result of what was going on in her mind? Regina had never seen the blonde in this state of undress and admitted even as Emma had lost weight and was too thin, she still had the body of a warrior, and scars as well. Too many scars, feint and old but there, especially on her back. She shook herself out of her gazing, scolding herself internally for having thoughts about how the blonde looked excercising, sinuey muscles flexing. This was not the time nor place.

“Emma is there a reason you took off your gown?” Regina asked, her voice steadier than she thought possible.

“I’m not doing pushups in a gown, Regina. If you don’t like what you are seeing maybe you should run off to Sherwood Forest and ask Robin for another chance.” Emma told her, while continuing her exercise.

“Emma … why don’t you place your gown back on?”

“Why don’t you take your clothes off? It’s freeing even with the slight draft in the room. Give me my clothes or I’m staying like this.

Regina did not feel like arguing, thinking of the clothes Emma had left in her closet and having a hard time remembering past the red jacket she was so focused on. Instead Regina thought of a simple pair of sweats she often gardened in when absolutely no one was around. With a snap of her fingers Emma was covered, complete with socks and a pair of Regina’s seldom used sneakers.

“You have small feet. Guess you didn’t like the view after all.”

“Not exactly the time or place to be having this conversation, Emma. How are you feeling today? Did you sleep well?”

“Slept great.” Emma lied.

“Have you been seeing anyone that isn’t … real?”

“Nope.” Emma did her best not to look up at Ingrid, but she knew the blonde was there, watching her and Emma did glance up quickly to see her wink in approval. Ingrid understood. She didn’t frighten Emma, but supported her. She loved her. Emma should have protected her. One of her greatest regrets was not going off with Ingrid. She should have left with the woman and the curse of shattered sight would not have been necessary nor her death.

Emma continued pushups until she could not take the burn anymore. She then stopped and began sit ups. Regina watched Emma for any sign of hysteria or delusions but either the blonde was feeling better than she had since Hook’s death or was becoming very good at hiding her problems to lull Regina into a false sense of security.

“When is Lilly coming?” she asked after her last sit up.

“I really haven’t had a chance to call her. You know I have been with you the whole time. Why don’t the two of us go to the restroom? You can have a shower…”

“You going to join me?” Emma asked with a grin.

“No, but you can brush your teeth, do your hair perhaps. It might make you feel better. I think you should also considering consuming food and water for your health…”

“And my baby’s. Got it.” Emma finished.

Emma did seem a bit calmer today and after the restful sleep last night Regina hoped she could perhaps move the blonde out of this dreadful place tommorrow. Remove them both since Regina had no intention of leaving her.

“I need to step outside for a few minutes then I will be right back.” Regina told her and teleported away before Emma could argue. She only moved to the other side of the door where as she expected a very drained Charming sat on a chair while Snow was curled into his lap.

“I think the two of you should go get some breakfast and check on your youngest. Emma needs to use the restroom at the end of this hall and I’m…”

“She won’t see us, will she?”

“I think it is best for now, Snow. She promised if she can speak to Lilly today, alone, then she will speak to whoever I wish and take whatever medications I ask her to, so I will call Lilly as soon as Emma is done in the restroom.”

“Why are you holding your purse?” David asked.

“Because the Dark One’s dagger is in it and I can’t chance Emma taking it.”

“Then why do you have it in there to begin with?” he followed.

“Because I can’t take the chance of anyone else taking it either. I trust the two of you with it but Emma is feeling better this morning and slept well last night. I think it may have a calming effect on her.”

“Does she know you have it?” Snow asked.

“Yes, she felt it. She knew exactly where it was. If you could clear out, I need to get back to her.”

Regina appeared back in the room in a swirl of purple smoke to find Emma leaned against the wall, smirking at her.

“Don’t trust me not to steal from your purse Regina?”

“You are a convicted felon Miss Swan.” Regina said with her trademark sarcasm that had become such an integral part of her and Emma’s communication. Then the Queen realized what she had said.

“Emma I didn’t mean…”

“Yes you did. Its fine. I missed this Regina. You are never hotter than when you are being a bitch. This whole Emma’s nursemaid thing you have going on is a bit of a turn off to be honest. If you are going to help me get over my last boyfriend trying to destroy the woman I love and my son, then forcing me to kill him, I’m going to need a bit of the old Regina back.”

Regina was still struck by Emma saying she loved her. Of course she had written it in her suicide note and wondered if Emma realized what she actually said but it was amazing to hear it. Perhaps Regina was going insane.

“Regina? Bathroom? I promise I won’t try to escape. You can even put cuffs on me. Oh wait, you already have one on me, don’t you?”

“You know why Emma. If you will work with the doctors or at least me and be honest about these hallucinations you are having then perhaps…”

“Shut up Regina. Let’s go.”

With a snap of her wrist a very surprised, yet stoic, Nurse Ratched popped into the room.

“Retrieve the keys from your desk and let us out.”

Regina sent the woman back magically to her desk before Emma could get any ideas about attacking her.

Twenty seconds later, ten longer than Regina would have liked, the cell door opened. Emma stepped out first and screamed. It was not a scream of terror.

Regina ran quickly behind her and found to her disgust and horror that Snow had not taken direction as usual and was waiting outside. Now Snow was on the ground and unlike Emma’s altercation with her hallucination yesterday, Miss Swan’s fists were finding a very real, live target.

Snow couldn’t help herself. She desperately wanted to see Emma, just a chance to say her name or tell her daughter I love you. The minute Emma stepped out her eyes narrowed and her blank face turned to one of rage. She struck Snow in the mouth before the woman could utter a single word, knocking her to the ground. Snow found herself on her back, another of Emma’s fists connecting with her eye socket brutally. Another fist hit her in the ear. A hand grabbed her hair and lifted her head in preparation for another strike before David was behind their daughter, pulling her off of his wife by the waist, pleading with her to calm down. Emma continued to scream, trying to get at Snow until she realized who was holding her from behind. The blonde swung her head back, connecting with Charming’s face, causing him to lose his hold on her waist. She turned quickly and kicked the Prince in the crotch, ellicting a moan and doubling him over.

Then her attention turned back to Snow. Before she could jump on top of the woman, Emma foud herself in the air floating. She could not move but was not hurt, only as if she were suddenly immobilized by soft, restraints of pure air. Knowing it was Regina, and knowing there was no way Regina would let her down, Emma spit at Snow.

“Grow your hair out woman!”

“W…what?” Snow asked.

“You killed Mary Margaret. I saw you in the past. I know who you are really Snow White. Grow your hair out and look like you. Masquerading as my friend is an insult to both of us. You killed her!”

“Leave now. David get her out of here and please have her examined.” Regina ordered. Snow was beaten, her eye already swelling, her lip busted in two places and her hair wild. Regina believes Emma would have beat the woman to death and knew Snow would never raise a hand to defend herself. What the hell was Snow thinking? Both the idiots!

“Please Emma just let me…”

“Snow leave now!” Regina yelled.

Not waiting for Snow to answer, Regina sent both of them upstairs, already beginning to feel tired due to the use of so much magic in the past few days and this morning after a stressful night before. Hopefully David could shuffle along enough to have Snow checked out. 

If nothing else perhaps the two of them would learn to listen to her.

“What were they doing here? Waiting to ambush me in the hallways with some fucking hope speech?”

“I asked them to leave but you know how… Snow loves you. They both do. She would have let you beat her to death before she ever laid a hand on you. You know that Emma.”

“I know I want her dead. Both of them. I want a shower, I want food and I want Charming and Snow dead. Is this how you felt all those years Regina? Or did you place them above bathing and food in importance?”

Regina sighed but did not answer, instead gently bringing Emma down to the floor.

“Come Miss Swan. You can take a shower while I call your friend. You remember our agreement about speaking to Lilly correct? You said you will talk to anyone I ask and take any medications recommended? Do you still plan to honor that agreement?”

Emma turned with a wicked smile.

“Of course Dearie. I always honor my agreements. Dark One’s pledge.”

“You aren’t the Dark One, Emma.” Regina told her, ignoring the shiver that ran through her at Emma’s, albeit poor, imitation of Rumple’s voice.

“No, I’m not. I’ve transcended that. Now I need a shower. Lead the way Madame Mayor.”

Regina hesitated.

“Why don’t you go first Emma? I wouldn’t want you to be tempted to purse snatch me.”

“My God Regina, we must be in love. I swear it’s like sometimes you can read my mind.” the blonde snarked.

While Emma showered without incident, and David did not return to report Snow’s demise from head trauma, Regina took the opportunity to use the reception desk in the basement to call Malificient. She also reminded herself to see about getting better cell reception in the underground portion of the hospital. At least texts were reliable due to the wifi.

Mal was reluctant to visit but after discussing the issue with Lilly who insisted she wold be going, the Dragon Queen agreed and promised to be there within the hour, provided Charming and Snow were no where around. Regina explained Snow’s morning and Mal agreed to be there in 30 minutes to get a look at the hero of the Enchanted Forest. The woman still refused Snow’s claim of being queen in favor of Regina. Amazingly, despite being trapped under a library for 28 years as a dragon and then ‘killed’ by Emma Swan, Mal still preferred those two over Snow White. She and Regina had come to an understanding as both tried to change for the better, if for no other reason than the children they both loved.

Emma took longer in the bathroom than Regina expected and she was about to peak in on her in the shower until Emma stepped out, clad back in the plain grey sweats with her damp hair hanging down freely. The shower had done a world of good for the blonde, as she appeared closer to her former self and even smiled back at Regina but said nothing. Emma turned down breakfast stating that she had no appetite on the agreement that she would eat lunch.

Regina’s phone buzzed with a text and she teleported into the hallway where Malificient and Lilly stood.

“Good morning Regina. You look like hell. Perhaps you should take a moment to prepare yourself for the day while Lilly and I talk to Emma.” Mal suggested.

“Emma will only talk to Lilly alone.” Regina told her, once again. This had been discussed over the phone.

“There is no way I am allowing my…”

“I’m 30, Mom. I can turn into a dragon and if Emma hasn’t escaped yet I am guessing she can’t use magic.” Lilly told the woman. “I’m going in alone.”

“Did you see what she did to her own mother? Her entire face is swollen and bruised. As much as I enjoyed seeing that, I am not letting you be at risk.”

“You aren’t letting me do anything. I am going. It wouldn’t be the first time Emma and I have scraped.”

“Yes, I am aware of you and Miss Swan’s history. She is however pregnant and I will watch through the window. If there is any sign that Emma will attack you I will get you out of there quickly. Trust me I will be watching very closely.” Regina informed her.

“Chill Regina, I won’t hurt your girlfriend. I mean thats what she is, right? Catching her on the rebound a few days after Hook is killed and she is an emotional wreck? The idea of her being here is ridiculous. You just have some need to control her don’t you? Tired of Robin so you want the one woman you never could control. Typical Evil Queen crap. How long is she going to be in your dungeon before she behaves like a good little servant girl for you and a perfect princess for Snow? You two are besties now right?”

Regina’s face felt on fire, not from embarassment but anger.

“How dare you? Who the hell do you think you are? You know nothing about Emma and I nor am I trying to control her so I can have my wicked way with her. She tried to fry herself and she is here for her protection! She is talking to people who are not there, she knows her baby is … she knows she is pregnant with Hook’s child, a man she was forced to kill. While I can understand your disdain for her parents, they are her parents and she has threatened to kill them more than once along with everyone else who has ever so much as looked at her wrong. If not for that cuff on her arm she would certainly be capable of it. Do not speak of that which you know nothing about. Before we found you, it had been twelve years, perhaps longer, since you last saw Emma. I don’t believe your parting was amicable was it? Now you are an expert in her mental state?”

“Relax Regina.” Mal warned, but Regina paid no heed, eyes burning into Lilly.

“That may be your highness, but Emma asked to see me, not you.”

“And I hope if you care about her as you say you do, you can recognize she needs help and encourage her in getting it.”

“I will always have her best interests in mind. We may not have had the best past but we were there for each other. But I am looking out for her, not whatever agenda you or Snow White have for her.”

“Perhaps this is a bad idea.” Regina said through gritted teeth.

“Perhaps I should go dragon and break her out on my own. What about it Mom? Gonna let your old friend here try to stop me?”

“Enough, the both of you!” Mal yelled. “My daughter has agreed to go into a locked padded room with a potentially psychotic woman with whom she has a complicated past at your request Regina. If you don’t want her to then let us know now and we will leave. If you do, then please stop with the rudeness and let my daughter do what she came to do. If I can respect her wishes not to watch her, then you certainly can.”

Regina let out a breath. Yes she recognized that she was protective over Emma and she also recognized that if Emma asked, Lilly would do anything for her. It was a dangerous situation but as of right now, it was the best opportunity to get Emma to begin to work with others and not against them.

“Fine. I will be listening but I doubt I will hear much through the thick doors. If you get in trouble I hope you fare better than Snow White. She didn’t listen to me either. If you even think about harming her or that baby…”

“You’re threats aren’t necessary your Highness. Unlock the door.”

Emma sat cross legged on her bed, staring at the wall. No one was here. Not Regina, no ghosts, no one. She missed Nimue. At least the few times Nimue talked to her, she knew her baby was real and she knew that she loved Emma.

The quiet was nice though. She had not been sedated today, even after she beat the piss out of Snow White. She could focus on herself, her magic that was just brimming under the surface, waiting to get out. If she could avoid any ghosts for just a little while, she would have it. She would be strong enough. Regina could not beat this cuff, Zelena could not beat this cuff, but Emma knew she could. She had taken on Merlin, and believes if she had a rematch now she could take the wizard.

“You really believe that?” Merlin asked. Her eyes opened and their he was, complete with all knowing little smile that made you think he was in on a joke no one else could get. Of course the joke ended with Hook crushing his heart.

“Believe what?”

“That you could take me in a rematch?”

“I know I could.”

“You were the Dark One and you were no match for me.”

“I’m not the Dark One now. I’m me and I know I could destroy you.”

Merlin laughed.

“Too bad you couldn’t save me. I told you that you should have let him die. You gave yourself over to the darkness completely for him and what good did it do? He is still dead and you almost lost Regina and Henry because of your stupidity.”

“Watch it fucker. I may figure out how to bring you back to life so I can kill you again.”

Merlin leaned against the padded wall and crossed his arms.

“Suicidal, insane, little orphan girl, about to give birth to the most evil woman who ever lived.”

“You forgot homicidal.” Emma helpfully reminded him.

“I beg your pardon, Emma. How thoughtless of me. It is good to know so many people went through so much trouble to save you from the Dark curse. Of course there really is no saving, not even for the Savior. You were twisted from the beginning. Exposing yourself to that darkness, it stays with you. The curse may be gone but the evil is still there. And now you have a curse growing in your womb.”

“Do not call my baby a curse! I will rip your heart out and …” Emma tried.

“What Emma? I can say what I wish. I’m dead. There is nothing you can do to me.”

“I’ll be dead one day as well. This will not be forgotten, Merlin.”

“Really? Because I’m not even here. You really can’t tell reality from fantasy any longer, can you? Poor Emma. Lost girl doesn’t even begin to describe you. Nimue was right, you are nothing. You will always be nothing. Worthless, broken, unstable, incubator for pure evil.”

“Shut up!” Emma screamed, grabbing her hair with both hands and shutting her eyes, willing the damn sorcerer to go away.

“Emma?”

Emma turned from Merlin to look at the door. Lilly. Looking back at the wall, Merlin of course was gone.

“Lilly.” Emma whispered. Lilly took a few tentative steps towards her and actually jumped a bit when the door was locked by her jailer.

“First time behind bars huh? You get used to it.” Emma offered and patted the matress. “Have a seat next to me. Regina has yet to poof her lounging chair back into the room.”

Lilly sat down on the edge of the bed, while Emma moved from her position in the center and sat next to her, their legs very close.

“You look … good.” Lilly started uncertainly.

“So do you. How is the reunion with your mother going?”

“Oh, good. We uh, we have things to talk about always it seems, but I am really enjoying being with her. We haven’t had much luck finding my Dad. Mom has been asking everyone she thinks may know something about who could possibly be a dragon in town. Of course he could have been killed before the curse or not brought over … I mean who the hell knows? I think I’ve gotten to a point that if I never find out, I can be kinda okay with that. I mean I got Mom so…I guess its enough.”

“I’m glad to hear that Lilly.” Emma told her with sincerity. “Want to guess how my reunion with my parents has gone?”

“I’ve heard, I mean its a small town and the first family of Storybrooke and the former Evil Queen seems to be all anyone talks about. You guys are like the Kardashians of this town.”

Emma let out a genuine laugh. She had forgotten how much Lilly could always make her laugh.

“I suppose so. Did you see Snow above?”

“Yes. She didn’t… I mean I think it was her. You beat the hell out of her Emma.” Lilly told her, without the glee she thought she would feel. Emma was never this violent.Yes Lilly knew Emma was different when they found each other again but Lilly put it down to the stress Emma was under.

“Please tell me you aren’t disappointed in me, Lilly. You should be happy. She fucked us both over. They both did.”

“I know Emma but you were ready to kill me not long ago to protect them. What has changed?”

“I suppose you could say I have begun looking at things differently. Maybe I’m tired of being used. Aren’t you? They used you Lilly. I think it’s time we both got our revenge. You just have to help me out and I promise you Snow White and Prince Charming will die in the most horrible way you can think of. I just need your help to get me out of here.”

Although Emma’s voice remained calm, Lilly was still worried. The fact that she sounded so normal discussing the deaths of her parents gave her pause. This wasn’t Emma. It was but it wasn’t.

“What do you want me to do Emma? I mean if I turn into a dragon and burn the hospital to the ground, Mom and Regina would both probably try to stop me.”

“I don’t need you to do that Lilly. Nothing so dramatic. In fact you are going to have to call on our old specialty. I need you to steal something for me. I need this cuff off and no one short of Regina can take it off.I think I can eventually break it myself but I am tired of waiting. In Regina’s purse is the Dark One’s dagger. It can take this cuff off. Once I have it, I can take them all. Snow White, Charming, Gold, everyone who ever fucked me over in the outside world. I can take care of them all, then leave. I can take my baby to some place no one would be able to stop me. I will take what should be mine.”

“What are you talking about Emma? What do you think should be yours?”

“The Enchanted Forest. Regina will come of course. She will do what I want. Plus the idea of being back in power by my side, is too good for her to pass up. I can figure out a way to get everyone there, everyone back in their rightful place. Think about it Lilly. You can fly as much as you want, anywhere you want and there will be no mob crying out for your head. I can ban the hunting of dragons in the Kingdom…”

“Wait, wait! When the hell have you ever given a damn about being in charge of a Kingdom? I thought you liked, you know, indoor plumbing and cable TV?”

“Fuck that. My eyes have been opened. I can have a fortress there. An army, servants, everything Nimue deserves, to keep her safe until she is ready to be queen. Regina can handle the day to day. My job is making sure my family cannot be touched. My real family. You can be a part of that Lilly.”

“Emma I don’t think Enchanted Forest shit is really our style.” Lilly told her, trying to figure out what the hell was going on with the blonde. Granted they had not had much time to catch up before the shit hit the fan but still, this isn’t the Savior everyone talked about with such awe when she first moved here.

“We can talk about it later. Nothing can happen regardless until I get out of here. Did I mention I plan to kill the fairies? I have a special plan for Blue. Want to hear about it?”

Emma knew she was revealing more than she should but it didn’t matter. Lilly was like her. Lilly would understand.

“Emma you realize if you kill Snow and Charming then their baby will be an orphan like you, right?”

Emma stopped, the words she prepared to speak froze in her throat. She had not thought of that. Yes, the baby was named after Gold’s bastard but that wasn’t his fault. He was her brother.

“Emma?”

“Not now Lilly. I’m thinking.”

This would be a problem. Emma did not want an orphan on her conscience. Everything else she was prepared, even glad to take responsiblity for. But her brother being an orphan? Still what kind of life would he have with those parents, parents who would always put themselves in front of their children?

“There is a way to make them better parents and still make them suffer Emma.” Ingrid spoke from behind. Emma turned to face her.

“What do you have in mind Sarah? Not another shattered sight curse because repitition is sort of dull. Don’t even think about the memory loss thing. It’s been done to death.”

“Think about it Emma. You are my smart girl. It will come to you. Death is too easy for them. There is a way for them to suffer for what they put you through and be better parents for it. You will figure it out.”

“You’re right Sarah. You were the only one who ever gave me credit for being smart. No one else. Even Regina thinks I’m an idiot.”

“Emma who are you talking to?” Lilly asked, beginning to get very freaked out.

“Sarah. That doesn’t matter, she only talks to me. Listen you are right but I will figure something out. I can still make them pay. All the Enchanted Forest stuff we can discuss. I could probably form an army here, build a castle to my liking. Did you know Regina broke up with Robin? Just between you and me, I think she wants me. At first I was thinking it was pity but she is really going out of her way. It’s a shame she couldn’t have figured this out before I got involved with a pirate and then lost my damn mind. Fuck it though right? What we need to focus on first is taking out everyone who can be a threat to us. Understand?”

“Emma, I’m not really into vengeance. I mean I was, but Mom and me are really getting close and trying to put that all behind us. I mean she doesn’t want to kill your parents and…”

Lilly stopped at the look Emma gave her. Her laid back, sunny facade was gone, replaced by a eery, angry countenance that chilled Lilly to the bone.

“You aren’t going to help me? You owe me Lilly! You owe me big time for what you did to me and for me letting you live on that damn highway. I’m offering you a chance to be a part of this. My baby is going to have the life she deserves, the life we should have both had. So are you going to abandon me like everyone else always has or are you with me? I need to know.”

Lilly took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. Her heart was breaking at what she was seeing and hearing. The change in Emma’s moods, her need for revenge that had never been before and the fact that she had seen Emma speak to someone who was absolutely not there, disturbed her. As much as she hate to admit it, Regina was right. Emma needed help, serious help.

Lilly grabbed Emma’s hand gently and gave her a small smile.

“I told you once, when I begged you to come with me that I would never hurt you again. I’m going to keep that promise.”

Lilly stood along with Emma who wrapped her in a hug, pressing their bodies very close together due to Emma’s grip. Perhaps Emma was just being a bit clingy because of her circumstances. That thought was dispelled when Emma whispered in her ear.

“You made the right decision. I will make sure you are rewarded. Anyway you want Lilly. Now go be a good thief like we always have been and get that dagger. But one thing, no matter what, Regina is not to be hurt, understand?”

“I understand Emma.”

Lilly pulled herself away from Emma, wondering how she could be aroused by the blonde even when Emma was in this state. Almost as if she was casting a lust spell without noticing. But no, Lilly always had this reaction to Emma. Lilly had Emma’s supposed darkness and that connected them.

Of course it certainly appeared Emma found her own darkness that made Lilly’s seem sunny in comparison.

Lilly knocked on the door and Emma sat on her bed, smiling as Lilly gave her a little wave.

Once the door was locked, Regina and Mal were in front of Lilly, waiting in the hallway.

“Everything okay?” Mal asked.

Lilly shook her head.

“I don’t suppose it would help if I asked what she said?” Regina asked doubtfully, knowing the woman would enjoy knowing something about Emma that she did not. Instead Lilly surprised her.

“I told her once I would never hurt her again. I’m not going to now. You need to know everything she said. She needs help.”

Regina let out a breath and felt a pressure had lifted from her chest.

“Thank you Lilly.”

“Let’s sit somewhere. I need to know everything and I will tell you everything. But first, Regina, whatever you do, do not take that dagger back into her cell. She wants me to steal it so she can cut off the cuff. Hide it Regina, do something with it and don’t tell anyone where it is. I don’t want to know. Just … help her. Please.”

Regina surprisingly pulled the girl into a hug.

“I will Lilly. Lets go sit and we can talk.” 

Mal put her arm around her daughter, pride shining through. Lilly was a proud, stubborn woman. To admit that Regina was right shocked her and she wondered how bad the Savior had fallen that Lilly would agree with the former Queen.

Emma Swan. One more casualty of true love.


	9. Cold Truths

Do not own OUAT or it’s characters. Thanks for the comments and kudos. If you are enjoyinh it please let me know. It will get better for Emma, eventually. I tend to write long stories though, so it may be a while.

Chapter 9

“I can’t believe you are making me do this.” Emma griped.

“You always honor your agreements, Dark One’s pledge, remember Miss Swan?” Regina responded feeling a bit smug. Even Lilly could see Emma needed help and now Emma had to talk to Archie. Although she did not feel the bug was the best choice, he was unfortunately the only option.

“Why did you leave your purse outside?” Emma asked, suspicion obvious in her tone.

“You do not wish to be the Dark One any longer. Obviously the call to the Dagger isn’t bothering you so why would you need it?”

Emma kept her face impassive but inside was seething. Regina suspected Emma wanted the Dagger. While it would make it easier for Lilly to take it without hurting Regina, the timing was off. Lilly had left, Regina had returned, food was conjured in her hand, to Emma’s surprise a cheeseburger and fries, and the purse had been left behind. Who had the Dagger? What if Rumple had it? Emma did not tell Lilly everything. She did not tell her about the plan to have Rumple kill Belle.

Maybe. She considered having Belle kill Rumple and become the Dark One herself, casting her into another realm. Honestly the thought of the sweet little bookworm as the Dark One caused Emma to giggle inside, but the excruiating pain of Rumple having to kill his so called true love right before Emma ended him, outside of Storybrooke, was so tempting she doubted she could pass it up. Nothing against Belle, but when you love the Dark One there is a price dearie. She should have better taste in cowardly Imps.

But of course as part of her deal with Regina, she now had to sit and talk to the fucking cricket. Emma wondered who else Regina would make her see. She hoped Snow and David would come for a visit. Emma agreed to meet with anyone Regina asked her to but she never agreed to not attack them. Plus the blonde was dying to see Snow’s face and the damage she had inflicted.

“Would you like me to stay with you while you talk to Dr. Hopper, Emma?” Regina asked. Emma considered it for a moment but decided against it. She would be completely honest with Archie as far as what she wanted him to know. She had no reason to lie unless it suited her, but the idea of Regina hearing how broken she truly was, terrified her. Damn that woman. No one in her life, not Neal, not Lilly, and not even Hook, would be considered a weakness for Emma. Despite love, Emma could walk away at anytime. But Regina, the evil fucking queen had to be different. It was a miracle she had survived this long when everyone else who had dared to love Emma died. Not everyone she supposed. Lilly was strong and a survivor and perhaps Regina could be. Of course Hook survived for 300 years and she was his downfall.

Besides, if Lilly fucked her over Emma would kill the bitch herself.

“No, that won’t be necessary Regina.” Emma answered.

“You haven’t had a sedative today. How are you feeling? Do I need to worry about the cricket being stepped on?”

Did she? No, Emma had no plans to kill anyone today. If Lilly failed or betrayed her she would need a few days of non violent behavior before anyone let her out of this cell into a more easily escapable one.

“No, Archie is fine. I was emotional when I found myself tied up. I’m sure you can understand why.” the blonde tried, in her best nonchalant voice.

“I think I understand but would you mind telling me?” Regina tried.

“Yes I would. Don’t you have drugs to coordinate with Dr. Frankenstein and crap to do? I’m still in shock that you are in jeans and you must be ready to change, not that your ass doesn’t look amazing.”

“I can change with a flick of my fingers Emma. You know this.”

Emma smirked to herself, holding in a comment about what else Regina’s fingers could do.

“Yeah I can too, if this damn cuff wasn’t on my arm. Why is it that you are coordinating this medication with Whale? It’s my damn life.”

“It became my problem when you were judged mentally unstable due to trying to commit suicide by fire. You were the one who put me in charge.”

“Yeah but that was if I was in a coma or something. I figured you would pull the plug quicker than anyone else.”

That stung and Regina couldn’t help but flinch. Emma noticed.

“I’m sorry Regina. I didn’t mean that. I couldn’t trust Snow and … honestly you are the only one I did trust, do trust in this town. Even when you hated me you always were straight forward. You don’t know how rare that has been in my life. Thats why I gave you the authority. But here is the thing Regina. How long are you planning to keep me locked up? How long do you think you can keep me categorized as mentally unstable? I’m starting to get a little offended.”

“Until you stop talking to people who aren’t there and assaulting your mother or anyone else for that matter. It would also not be a bad idea to stop threatening to murder people and actually talk to a therapist and take medication so that you are actually sane when the baby is born.”

All good points. Emma would have to work on them, become a better actress, although Snow White was going to be difficult.

“When can I see Henry? Does he want to see me?”

That’s normal right? Emma would be expected to miss her son, no matter how jugemental he tended to be. She really had no desire to see anyone besides Regina but that was besides the point.

“Can you not traumatize him if he visits you? He is broken Emma. I have never seen him more depressed. He blames himself.”

Act surprised Emma.

“It’s not his fault!” she told Regina, perhaps a bit to loudly. “Bring him to me but…”

“But what?”

“I don’t want him to see me in this cell.” Emma finished. Damn it, Regina’s eyes just narrowed.

“Then when you are released from this cell you will see him. I would work hard to get better if you truly wish to see him, unless of course you simply want to find a place that is easily more escapable and are using our son as a means to an end.”

Emma narrowed her eyes at Regina. One of the things she always loved about the woman was her intelligence. It was becoming a liability now.

“Of course not. Can you bring in the bug so I can remind him that I saved his ass in the mines and he owes me?”

“Why do you think he is agreeing to meet with you after you threatened to disembowel him?” Regina asked, eyebrow raised.

“Because he is like everyone else in this town. He will do whatever it takes to kiss Snow White and Prince Charming’s ass.” Emma theorized. Regina simply looked at the floor and with a wave of her hand, Archie was in the room, looking a bit shocked. Of course his eyes went directly to Emma’s hands, either to hope they were restrained or checking to make sure the cuff was still there.

“Behave Emma.” Regina told her sternly and disappeared. Archie gulped. Good Lord, with this bug, a blue bug, an old woman and a bunch of Dwarves on her war council, how the fuck did Snow ever beat Regina? Ruby couldn’t have done all the work, could she?

“Hello Archie, would you like to sit next to me on the bed? We could take off our clothes and really bond.” Emma suggested., wanting to throw the man off his game immediately. She had done this to one of the shrinks her social worker made her go to after a fairly severe beating when she was fourteen that landed her in the hospital. The poor man blushed and stuttered for thirty minutes then told the social worker that Emma was fine and didn’t need any more help.

Emma never needed help. She was a survivor. Beat her, use her, it didn’t matter. She just kept on going, taking more, like a damn masochist.

“When is the last time you have gotten fucked Archie? I mean really just thrown down and rode hard? Have you ever?”

“If you keep that up Regina is never going to let you go Emma. Act sane for fucks sake you damn idiot. I swear you must like bars. Is it some kink of yours or what? You should thank me for sending you to prison.”

Emma did not turn to see Neal. She knew he was there. Of course he would show up when she couldn’t yell at the bastard. He always was a coward just like his father.

“Emma, I think I will have a seat over here. I’m actually here to talk about you. I wanted to see if you were feeling better?”

“I’m locked in a padded room, Archie. The people I trust most in this world have locked me up because I had a minor nervous breakdown. I missed my boyfriend’s funeral. The one I killed myself? Yeah him. I gotta be honest with you Archie, things have not been good but I am not crazy. You know me, and you know I’m not crazy.”

“I don’t believe you are crazy, Emma. I believe some things have happened to you in your lfie. some horrible things and they have built up until you reached a breaking point. You may not be exactly rational right now but I do not believe this is something you can’t get past. I have to know if you are going to take this seriously however. If you aren’t ready for this, we can always wait.”

“And leave me in a padded cell? No thank you. I am perfectly fine and very serious. Talk away Hopper.”

“Your mother has a broken eye socket and your father has a concussion. Do not sit there and tell me you are fine. You are talking to people who are not there, people who have hurt you in the past. You are scheming to escape and murder people. As soon as Regina brought me in here, you asked if I wanted to fuck you. Don’t look so surprised. If you can curse I may as well too. I do not want to aggravate you Emma but you are important to a lot of people who care deeply for you, including myself, and I will not play your games.”

“Do not hit him my precious girl. He is your ticket out of here.” Ingrid told her. Emma made the mistake of glancing to her right to catch a glimpse of the only face that has ever looked at her with complete love.

“Exactly. You aren’t as quick as you think Emma. Who were you just looking at?”

“Tell him. Tell him everything. You know how this works Emma. We’ve been here before. Act like he is pulling it out of you, admit to hallucinations and he will prescribe you medication for Schizophrenia and then you will be done.” Ingrid instructed. She was right as always. Emma had played this game. If you appear too okay, they do not believe you. Admit to depression, seeing things, hearing voices even if you must. You are given pills you pretend to take and are done. Then Emma can get down to business.

“Ingrid was talking to me.” Emma admitted grumpily.

“Thank you for your honesty. Can you see her or just hear her?”

“I can see her. She comforts me.”

“What about the others you see?”

“What others?”

“And here I thought we were making progress.” Archie told her. When the fuck had the cricket grown a backbone?

“Fine, yes I see others. People who have hurt me in the past. People who are dead now. Do you want a roll call?”

“I want to talk about it eventually but first lets talk about the visions themselves. How real are they?”

“They are very real. As real as you are sitting and talking to me right now.”

“How often do they appear?”

“Once or twice a day since I woke up from my incident.”

“Your suicide attempt?”

“Yes.” Emma admitted reluctantly. She needed to gain control of this. He was a talking bug for God’s sake.

“Have you had this happen to you before this episode? I understand you saw Rumple and Nimue when you were the Dark One.”

“I’m not schizophrenic!” Emma shouted, standing up.

“I never said you were. Has someone diagnosed you as schizophrenic before, Emma? When you were in the foster system?”

“No.” Emma said quickly. This was actually true. There was a few periods in her early life when she may have heard voices but they stopped on their own, and only occured after a rape or beating. Once when she was burned with a cigarette lighter on the inside of her thigh. She saw old foster parents and siblings all day and night, telling her she was nothing, worthless. She hit back and they always disappeared eventually. Schizos can’t do that. Not without medication and she never took medication. Weed, alcohol, no problem, but she stayed away from the hard stuff. Besides it wasn’t like she could afford a drug problem.

“Have you ever been diagnosed with any mental illness?”

And here was the question she had waited for. Throw the shrink a bone.

“Yes, I have been diagnosed before with depression.” Emma admitted reluctantly.

Depression was a great diagnosis. If she said no, he would never believe her. She imagined he knew or suspected most of her past. Of course she would be depressed. A few pills prescribed and problem solved. Now let me out of her you bastard.

“Manic depression?”

“No, just straight up normal, everyday depression.”

“I see. And did you take anti depressants?”

“Yes and I felt much better. I was able to stop taking them after a month or so.”

“Emma we were doing so well. How often were you abused? I have no idea but I suspect quite often. You took a few pills and felt better? I would bet you never took an antidepresant in your lfie. You are lying again Emma.”

Emma face went blank to hide the mask of rage she wanted to unleash. Instead she sat back down on the bed slowly, never breaking eye contact. How to play this?

“Tell me about the abuse you have suffered, Emma. Would you be willing to talk about that?”

“No.” she answered immediately. Her scars, emotionally and physically were hers.

“Okay, I can respect that. An honest answer. Can I ask why you tried to kill yourself?”

“I was tired.” Emma answered, needing to feed him answers he thinks are honest. In this case it was honest.

“And now? Do you still feel tired?”

Emma laughed soflty. “You could say I have a second wind Archie. I’m feeling much better. I need routine that doesn’t involve a small cell where I am being held against my will for no reason.”

“I see. Tell me, and please try to be honest, how many people do you plan to kill when you are released?”

Emma stared open mouthed at him. She had been doing well. She was depressed, who wouldn’t be after all the shit she had gone through? She gave him the answers he wanted to hear. The blonde had played this game many, many times.

“I can’t win with you can I? If I tell you none, you will say I am lying. If I say a hundred you will keep me here forever. This is bullshit, Archie.”

“And yet you didn’t answer the question. So why did you try to kill yourself with fire? There must have been easier ways.”

Emma couldn’t help herself. She looked towards the wall Ingird stood by but she wasn’t there.

“Emma, the hallucinations aren’t going to give you an answer. I want your answer. Why fire?”

“Because I didn’t want there to be anything left of me! I didn’t want my body buried next to Neal, I didn’t want to remain in Storybrooke! I don’t even want this body! Have you ever been used like a punching bag, Archie or a fucking sex doll? Has your body ever been used by a person you hated and you had no chance at stopping? This body has taken its fair share of shit and I wanted it gone!”

Emma realized she was standing and placed a hand over her mouth to stop the flow of words that escaped. She had broken her cardinal rule when dealing with shrinks. Never ever tell them anything personal.

Archie immediately saddened more than he already had. He knew Emma would be tough and the tears running down her face, told him she probably didn’t mean to say that but it was all true. This was going to be a long road. She hated herself so much that she wanted to erase all traces of herself, all proof that she had ever been here. He needed to change the subject. After that much needed outburst Emma needed time to dwell on it.

“How do you feel about your pregnancy?”

To Hopper’s great surprise, Emma actually brightened up.

“I’m very happy. I plan to give her everything I was never able to give Henry. I have to live Archie. I can’t take chances on revenge or murder or anything else. I just want my job and my baby.”

“What about Regina?”

“What about Regina?”

“She loves you. You think she would have done this before she met you? You are the one who brought back the woman Snow remembers from her childhood. She is sharing a padded cell just to be with you. I know you loved Hook but you love her as well. Everyone can see it. I realize this is very soon after Hook’s death but do you ever see anything down the road for the two of you?”

The brightness when talking about the pregnancy was gone from Emma’s eyes again.

“No.”

“No?”

“No.”

Regina could not follow the path Emma had to travel. She wouldn’t come back from it and Henry needed her. Regina needed Henry. Plus loving Emma Swan equals death and that couldn’t happen. Not to her.

“Thank you for being honest Emma. Let me rephrase the question. Do you want something more with Regina down the road?”

“What’s going on Archie? Are you her pimp or starting a match maker website?”

“I just want to know. You are obviously not going to kill yourself and leave your baby alone or take your baby with you. Now please answer the question.”

Emma took a deep breath.

“Yes I would love nothing more. I feel horrible saying that because Hook gave up his life for me but it is true. Still it doesn’t matter. I can’t lose her. Death follows me everywhere Archie. I won’t risk her.”

“So you plan to go through life alone?”

“I’ll have my daughter.” Emma told him, daring the man to challenge her.

“You haven’t had an ultrasound. How do you know the baby is a girl?”

“A mother knows.” Archie certainly did not need to know about Nimue. Regina would never tell. She wouldn’t.

“I see. Do you think raising a baby while seeing hallucinations that appear very real to you is a good idea? Do you see any possible dangers to the child in this?”

“I see a danger in not being released. I won’t have another child behind bars Archie. I just won’t.”

“I can understand that. So what are you going to do if one of these visions if you will, frighten you to the point that you cannot move? Or this Ingrid convinces you that throwing the baby off the roof is a good idea? Emma, Schizophrenia usually has an onset in females between the agesof 25 to 35. That fact that you have gone through many traumatic events, became depressed enough to try to burn yourself, not just kill yourself but burn yourself, and now are not only seeing and hearing people who are not there coupled with very agressive behavior makes me believe that you may have schizophrenia. Of course that is not certain but …”

“I’m not crazy.” Emma practicaly growled.

“I said you might have a mental illness that is treatable. I never said you were crazy…”

Archie never got to finish his reassuring speech because faster than he could believe, Emma had sprang across the room, pulled him up by his collar and turned the doctor, one arm wrapped around the top of his head and one wrapped under his chin. Archie had difficulty breathing but he was not in danger of suffocating. That was not what Emma had in mind at all.

“I’m going to walk you over to the door and you give whatever special knock you have worked out with Regina to let her know you are ready to leave. When she opens the door you just let me do the talking and we will both be out of here safely. You try to be a hero and all it takes is a little force to snap your fucking neck. We understand each other?”

“Emma you don’t…”

Emma tightened her grip, cutting off his voice.

“You want to give me a diagnosis Archie? That won’t do at all. These people will never let me out of here. No, that won’t do at all. I hope we both make it out of here Archie, because if I don’t you don’t. I saved your life once and you are going to save mine. Now move.”

While the good doctor was having his neck twisted by Emma Swan, Regina was on the top floor, surrounded by Snow, whose swelling had gotten worse to the point she was nearly unrecognizable, Charming and Dr. Whale.

“Why can you not give her any sedatives? Valium at least?” Regina asked.

“Because you don’t want the baby at risk. So long as she isn’t acting in a manner which could cause her harm, then Valium has a larger risk of hurting the baby, especially in the first trimester. All sedatives are. Lithium is dangerous, most of the drugs that would be used to treat manic depression and Schizophrenia all have possible side effects that can affect the child.”

“So she can not take medications during her pregnancy? None exist that can help her and not harm the baby?” Regina asked doubtfully.

“Yes there are drugs but the use and dosage has to be very specific. Too much or too little and the baby could be harmed. If she had been diagnosed before and already been on medication this would have been easier, since we would have a baseline and a cooperative patient. As it is, she won’t take medication as prescribed and the medication we can give would not be able to be administered through an IV.”

“Who has diagnosed her with Schizophrenia?” Snow asked. “You haven’t spoken to her Whale.”

“Dr. Hopper and I have discussed it. I cannot think of any other diagnosis that would cause people to started seeing hallucinations that appear very real. Perhaps a brain tumor but the scans we performed when she arrived showed no evidence, nor is she exhibiting the physical signs of a tumor. The best treatment, if Archie agrees of course, for a pregnant woman exhibiting signs of mental illness is ECT. There is no risk to the baby and despite the stigma assoicated with it in the past…”

Regina blasted Whale with magic, sending him flying twenty feet and bouncing off both walls in the hallway.

“Regina! What are you doing?” David asked quietly, shocked at what he had just witnessed.

“That so called man just recommended your daughter be subjected to electroshock therapy, David.” Regina calmly explained then strolled to Whale who was moaning on the floor.

“You bitch.” he whispered when Regina knelt next to him.

“You have no idea. From this point on Dr. Hopper, the pharmacist dwarf, Snotty or something, and the one who fashions himself a doctor of some sort will be part of Miss Swan’s care team. You are no longer needed. Stay away from Emma, her charts, her treatment, everything. I will be letting the chief of nurses understand that all orders for medication or any treatment go through those three and myself before any action is taken. You are not to speak her name again, are we clear? I will begin interviewing other staff physicians to determine who can be trusted to take your place as chief of medicine. You have angered me for the last time Whale. Do you understand me?”

Whale nodded, the fight in him gone. To hell with Emma Swan. If Regina wanted short miners and a bug in charge of her care, it was no skin off his teeth. All these crazy bastards deserved each other.

A nurse ran to Regina, only pausing to take a quick glance at the crumpled heap on the floor.

“Mayor Mills?”

“Yes?”

“Nurse Ratched needs you downstairs immediately. She said there is a life or death emergency.”

Regine teleported immediately downstairs to a sight she truly did not wish to see. Emma was in the hallway, behind Hopper with her arms wrapped arund his head. Regina knew that Emma without magic could snap the man’s neck in the blink of an eye.

“Emma? You promised you wouldn’t hurt Dr. Hopper. You gave your word.” Regina reminded her softly.

“I haven’t hurt him… yet. You have two choices if you want his spine to remain in one piece. You can either take the dagger and cut off this cuff or open the door and the two of us walk out of here.”

“You plan to drag him out of the hospital? That is your escape plan?”

“If that is what it takes.”

Regina took note of Emma’s eyes. She was extremely agitated, eyes looking everywhere except directly at Regina.

“And one you release him, how far are you planning to run? No car, no clothes, no money, no belongings at all really. I promise you Emma I am not taking that cuff off, especially now. Let Archie go and we can talk about other options besides the room. I’ve been thinking and perhaps we could go…”

“Emma!” Snow cried, David following behind her at a run. “What are you doing!?”

Emma laughed.

“Is that you Snow White? You don’t appear to be the fairest in the land any longer.”

“Emma, hit me more if you need to but don’t hurt Archie. You know he doesn’t deserve this. He is trying to help. Hate me but don’t do this to him.”

“Regina? What is it going to be? You going to open that door or am I snapping the bug’s neck and waiting for my next opportunity? This cuff isn’t getting any younger. How much faith do you really have in it? Maybe you should cut your losses Mayor. You’re a hero now, save his life and let me go.”

“Archie?” Regina asked. Emma had not noticed that while Archie’s neck was wrapped in her arms, his hand had reched into his jacket pocket for the failsafe Regina had given him. He broguth his hand up to both of their faces, they were to close to be seperated. The sleeping dust flew around Emma and Archie and both passed out, Regina using magic to catch them both before they hit the ground.

“David, could you tke Archie upstairs? He will be sleeping restfully for the next fifteen or so minutes. I couldn’t use a bigger dose because I didn’t want to risk Emma having complications. Snow if you could call the two dawrves I mentioned, and please ask that only the two of them and not all seven come to visit me.”

“Of couse Regina.” Snow answered, then knelt down next to Emma, brushing long blonde locks off her face. She gently kissed her cheek, her own tears falling on Emma’s face. David bent down and did the same, then lifted the therapist in his arms and ascended the stairs, Snow following.

Regina lifted Emma gently with her magic, floating her to the bed and sat in her chair, watching the blonde’s steady breathing. Emma had brought up the cuff not getting younger. What did she mean? Regina suspected she had been testing it but was the blonde close to breaking it herself? Why lose patience and try to walk out of the hospital with no plan and nowhere to go? She had to know Regina would have gotten her back easily. Was she becoming this desperate? Perhaps it was time now to move Emma to her home. She would have much more control over who to let in and the space she could Emma to roam may not make her feel as trapped.

Emma woke fifteen minutes later. She saw Regina but instead of addressing her, the blonde turned her eyes back to the ceiling and lay on her back without a word. It was eerily reminiscent of the near catatonic state she had been in before her suicide attempt.

“Emma?” Regina tried. When she received no response from Emma she let it go. The Savior would talk when the Savior was ready.

The two stayed unmoving in silence for the next two hours. 

At two hours and five minutes something happened that caused them both to rise quickly.

A sound, rumbling, then creaking, from the door. Both turned to look at it, Emma in joy and Regina in anger.

The door was ice. 

Then the door was ripped into the hallway where it shattered.

“Looks like my ticket out of here, Regina. It’s been fun but little Sis is here to take me home now.”

Elsa walked in, wearing a dark blue dress, with a black train and her golden hair pulled into a tight bun in the back. She was also wearing a dazzling crown made of diamonds or ice.

“Emma!”

“Elsa!” Emma ran past Regina into Elsa’s arms.

“What are you doing?! She is here for a reason! DId Arial tell you nothing?” Regina screamed, wanting to grab Emma and pull her away from the blonde Queen.

“Yes, she has told me everything that has happened since I left. What are you even doing here? When last I was here you and Emma were barely friends. Now you have the audacity to lock her up like a criminal and block her magic?”

Regina was taken back by Elsa’s outrage. She knew the blonde to be a bit unsure of herself and even shy. Regina expected this reaction at first from Elsa but once Snow explained things, the ice cube should jump on board. Regina had not expected her to come in turning doors to ice and crushing them in what she saw as a rescue mission.

“Elsa if you would step outside so we can talk and repair this door, I believe you may come to understand the situation differently. Perhaps you would like to talk to Snow and David?”

“Yes the ones who encouraged her to get rid of her magic and treated her like a monster? Or perhaps I should talk to you, the Evil Queen?”

“Elsa just please get me out of here. Don’t hurt Regina, my parents put her up to this. I’m pregnant and conceived when I was the Dark One. Snow wants the baby gone. You know how firghtened she is of magic. I need your help. They have all turned against me.”

“Elsa…”

“I’m listening to Emma, Regina.” Elsa snapped.

“Elsa, I want out of here. I need to get away. Snow burned my house, she is out of control. The woman is convinced my baby, mine and Killian’s baby, is evil.” Emma was actually crying and gripping Elsa with a ferocity that made Regina’s blood boil.

“That is not true Emma! Why are you lying to Elsa?”

“Stay out of this Regina.” Emma told her calmly, pulling her face away from Elsa’s neck and turning to face Regina, giving her a wink and a grin. Elsa, in her righteous fury over Emma did not notice of course.

“I’m taking Emma home.” Elsa told the former Evil Queen.

“Her home burned. She burned it down trying to kill herself.” Regina calmly explained.

“Actually I wasn’t talking about her home. Obviously nothing good has happened to her since I left Storybrooke. Oh wait, Ariel told me you and Robin made up. How nice for you. I have a tepmorary portal set up, Emma. Ariel came through with me and two must return. Would you like to come home with me? Would you like to come to Arendalle?”

“God yes Elsa. Anywhere but here.” Emma told her, face buried back into the younger blonde’s hair.

“Over my dead body!” Regina yelled.

“That can be arranged. Emma is as much a sister to me as Anna. I will take care of her. She will have everything she wants and be treated like the royalty she is, not locked away like a common criminal! How does that sound Emma? Are you ready?”

“Yes, anything to get away from Snow White, but we need to go. I can teleport us out of here but I need this off.”

Emma raised her arm to Elsa whose eyes never left Regina’s. Elsa wrapped her hand around the cuff and the former Queen watched it turn to ice and shatter. Emma rubbed the spot it had just been on seconds prior and grinned.

“Thanks for the prison cell, Regina. Say bye to Henry for me and let Snow and David know not to worry. They will defintely see me again. I may even let them see their grandbaby one day, when she is much older. For now, I need a safe place to have my child, surrounded by family that loves me like my real sister. Nothing personal.”

Emma wrapped her arms around Elsa and in a puff of grey smoke the two were gone.

“Regina?!”

Snow ran into the cell, looking around and noting Emma’s absence.

“I guess Elsa already came down. Ariel said she wasn’t very happy. Oh my God, she took Emma, didn’t she?”

“Emma took her actually but I get your point.She wants to take Emma with her to the North Pole or wherever the hell her kingdom is. Ariel came through the portal with her and if they return, Emma will continue to get worse, have the baby and find a way back. She could… Snow find Ariel. I need to know where that portal is now and destroy it before the Barbie Doll takes Emma without a clue what is wrong with her. If Elsa gets her through, she could easily destroy the portal on the other side. It could take me months to rebuild one.”

Regina had to focus. They would land somewhere Emma could grab her belongings. Most of her clothes were still at Snow’s since Emma seemed to have a preference for black as the Dark One. Her jacket and blanket…

“She is going to my house first. Text me when you have the location. Find it quickly Snow. We are running out of time.”


	10. Hot meets Cold

Don’t own OUAT

Sorry fir the comments last chapter I didn’t respond to. I work from eight to twelve hours a night and only have about three hours a day to write these chapters. Also sorry for the errors. I usually edit right before I post and go to sleep so I am basically sleepy as hell when I am there. I do appreciate the feedback very much. Even one comment keeps me going. This is kind of a rough chapter especially between Emma and Henry. 

Chapter 10

Emma and Elsa arrived with a light cloud of smoke in Regina’s bedroom. Emma glanced at the bed wondering how many nights Robin had lain with the woman there and drove that thought away quickly. Elsa arriving was a gift from above that she had not been expecting but planned to take every advantage of. She may have to place her plans on hold but this would actually work better. She could have Nimue safely in Arendelle and return when no one expected her to.

“Emma where are we?” Elsa asked. Emma looked at the blonde, the closet thing she had ever had to a sibling in her entire life, despite the multitude of foster siblings she had been forced into homes with. Despite her earlier rage at Hopper, Emma felt nothing now but relief and gratitude towards the woman who had traveled from another realm, leaving her kingdom to come to Emma’s aid. Not used to being a priority, Emma was not sure what to do with these feelings. Instead of answering Elsa, she threw her amrs around the younger blonde, clutching her tightly.

“Thank you so much Elsa. You saved my life.” Emma told her in a broken voice, fighting back sobs. This was not the time for that.

“You never have to thank me for that, Emma.” Elsa told her, still wondering where they were at and what they were doing here.

“How did you know they were keeping me locked up?”

“Ariel.”

“Ariel? Is that why Regina asked if … but who told Ariel to go to you?”

“Snow asked her to find me. She said you needed me so I came. Anna told the court I was taking an extended trip to negotiate a trade agreement and she is enjoying being Queen for a few days.”

“Did you have trouble taking the kingdom back?” Emma asked, remembering the task that lay ahead of Elsa when she left Storybrooke. A large part of Emma had wished she could have gone as well with her.

“Six months of leading a bloody revolt, but all things considered it could have been worse. The kingdom was not happy with the current monarchy and didn’t even mind an ice witch coming back from the dead to claim the throne. We can talk about that later… Emma, Ariel told me everything, or everything she knew about what has happened since I left. I am so sorry about Killian and just. everything…”

Emma cast her eyes to the floor. “Thank you.”

“Emma, Ariel said you tried to kill yourself. Is that true?”

“No.” Emma denied immediately. “Snow burned my house. I’m not sure if she wanted me dead or just to inhale enough smoke to kill my baby but she didn’t suceed on either count. Who knows what she would have done if I was there for much longer.”

“I see. Emma when did you find out you were pregnant?”

Emma laughed at the memory. Talking to Nimue in the dark of what she thought was death and then waking up to find herself tied up, surrounded by Regina and her enemies and slapped with that information.

“At the hospital after I woke up. AnywayI need to grab some things, at least my leather jacket and blanket. My boots should be here and I can take one of Regina’s shirts and a pair of jeans, then I will teleport us to the portal. Just give me a second and keep an eye out for Regina. I doubt she will guess I am here but she may. If she does show up don’t hurt her, just slow her down, please?”

Elsa ignored the strange request, she knew Emma always held Regina in high esteem even if the other woman obviously did not return the favor. Honestly Elsa felt Emma was too forgiving when it came to that woman. Instead she continued her questioning.

“Why are your things here?”

“Oh, I teleported them here before the fire started.” Emma explained, opening the box on top and pulling out her blanket. “I know it’s silly to keep this blanket considering who gave it to me but this is the only thing I haven’t had to beg, borrow or steal in my entire life it seems.” She then moved into the closet to find jeans and a top. She was a bit taller than Regina but that wouldn’t matter. 

“So after Snow set your house on fire, you packed your most precious belongings and transported them to Regina’s closet?”

Emma froze.

“How did Snow know you were pregnant if you didn’t find out you were pregnant until after you arrived at the hospital?” Elsa continued.

Emma stopped rifling through Regina’s clothes but would not turn to Elsa.

“Emma? It’s okay. I will do whatever you want but please be honest with me. This is me, Emma. You didn’t judge me for nearly killing you in that ice cave and I will never judge you. I just want the truth.”

Emma said nothing, debating whether she should just teleport away, until she felt Elsa’s cool hand on her shoulder.

“Look at me Emma. We are there for each other. I’m here for you. If you want to get away, and hearing what has happened, I understand why, then I will take you anywhere you want to go. I will keep anyone away from you that you do not want to see. But tell me the truth. Because at this moment if I see Snow White I will shove an icycle through her skull and I want to know the reason I am doing it, not a lie.”

Six months of bloody revolt had defintely hardened the former gentle girl into a woman not afraid of battle. If Elsa had learned one thing, fighting beside her sister in battle, it was always protect your own. Emma was her own. If Emma said Snow White was a threat, as hard a time as she had believing it based on what she knew of the woman, then Snow White was a threat.

Emma let out a breath and looked up. Ingrid was in front of her at the back of the huge closet, her beautiful smile and a tear in her eye, nodding her head. Elsa came all this way. She deserved the truth. As Emma turned Elsa pulled her close, allowing her to rest her head on the Queen’s shoulder.

“I couldn’t take it anymore Elsa. I just couldn’t take it. Gold tricked us all and I screwed everything up so bad. I lost, Elsa. I lost everything. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t pretend to be Snow White and Prince Charming’s Savior daughter when I feel so much hate for them. I have so much hate inside me I just wanted to die. They wouldn’t even let me do that. I couldn’t take it anymore, Elsa. I just needed out of there.”

At some point Emma realized that while she was still being held, her voice was intermingled with sobs and pleading and she and Elsa were on the floor, grasping onto each other tightly. Elsa cried silently while holding Emma, vowing to herself that she would do anything to protect her.

When Emma’s crying subsided to whimpers, Elsa whispered in her ear soothing sounds.

“Emma, I am going to take care of you. Would you let me?”

“Yes. Please.”

“Do you want to leave Storybrooke with me? I can go with you out of the city limits and we could find another place to live for a while.”

“How would we get back in? What about your kingdom?”

“The kingdom survived without me for a long time and it could stand a few months away. I would have to go back eventually and I will find a way and I won’t leave you behind. I found a way here didn’t I? But if you aren’t ready to visit another realm yet, if it is too much I will take you somewhere else until you are. Where do you want to go Emma?”

“I want to go to your home.” Emma whispered. No one could follow her there. Even if they did, no one would get past Elsa’s guards to get near her. Nimue would be safe. Emma would have time. She would have her only family as well. Regina could go back to Robin and forget her, have her happy ending and all that shit.

“Then it will be our home. Do you still want to kill yourself?”

“No, I just want to have my baby, Elsa.”

“Then why were they keeping you locked up in that horrid room? Regina does not surprise me but even though your parents fear your magic I can’t see them being that barbaric.”

“Don’t say a word, Love. She will never take you if she knows you are homicidal on top of being suicidal.” Hook told her, standing behind Elsa.

“Fuck you. She is my sister. She would never turn her back on me. Not like you did.” Emma hissed at Hook who was looking very dark right now, just as he had when he was waiting for Charon to take away Regina and Henry all so he could get Gold. The bastard.

“Emma who are you talking to?” Elsa asked, looking behind them quickly, hand ready to blast ice magic at whoever might be there.

Emma sighed.

“I’ve had other issues, Elsa. I … I want revenge. I want revenge on Gold, and other people.”

“Emma.” Elsa whispered, sadness in her voice but no judgement. She knew Elsa would never turn her away.

“I want them dead, Elsa, and the so called heroes of Storybrooke are determined to stop me but if I am away maybe I can move past it. Maybe we could have a fresh start.”

“Okay, but who were you talking to?”

“I see people, only sometimes. They seem so real it is hard not to … I know they aren’t real but they are real to me. I see Ingrid all the time. She is so nice. I miss her Elsa. I wish things hadn’t turned out like they had. I know she took Anna from you but I wish you had known how she was with me when I was a kid. She was so kind. She was so good to me and I threw it all away.”

“Okay,” Elsa consented, not wanting to argue the good and bad merits of Ingrid at this time, “who else?”

“People who have hurt me.”

“Injured you recently? Like Gold?”

“No, people from my past. Elsa there is a lot about me you don’t know. Things that have happened to me my whole life even when I was a kid. I’m broken, I’m nothing, but I can be a mother. I know I can. I just need the chance. Just the chance to have someone that is mine and only mine, you know? But these voices, I have to get away. If I can get away, maybe they can’t find me. They won’t be able to find me in Arendelle.”

“Okay Emma, its going to be okay. We can beat this but you are going to have to be honest with me. Can you do that? We are going to have to trust each other to get through this.”

“I can. I will, I promise. I won’t kill anyone in your kingdom unless you ask me too.” Emma added, shocking Elsa a bit that Emma added the last part. 

Elsa was concerned. She had heard of mad men who spoke to people that weren’t there and heard voices that weren’t real. She recognized the state Emma was in, and had no problem imagining what would happen if Emma were to allow her emotions to control her actions. 

Still Emma was a princess and you do not imprison a princess in a dungeon! Elsa had spent many years trapped in an urn to back this belief up.

“Get changed and I will wait…” Elsa started before a young males deepening voice interupted her.

“Mom?”

Both women turned towards the door and saw Henry standing there, his wide eyes red, evidence of the recent tears the boy had been shedding, some of many over the past week.

“Henry.” Emma’s suddenly cold voice greeted him. “I’m just picking up some things and will be gone. The Bug is your’s if you want it. I won’t need it where I am going.”

“Going? Where are you going?” he asked quietly, bottom lip trembling, almost touching Emma’s heart. It didn’t matter though, she had steeled herself for the next time she saw him. Hoping to get out of Storybrooke without a conversation had seemed to good to be true.

“I’ll be in the hallway Emma. Perhaps you two should talk.”

Elsa walked out, sparing a sympathyzing glance at the boy and left the two alone.

“Why is Elsa here? Why aren’t you at the hospital?”

“The prison you mean? Elsa broke me out.”

“Why would she … Mom don’t you think…”

“I think you need to remember who is 13 and who is the adult. I’m going to Arandelle with Elsa and when I come back, one day, it won’t be for long. You will know I was here though. Spend as much time with your grandparents as you can. Especially Grandpa Rumple. His immortal life is going to be looking very mortal soon.”

Emma turned back into the closet, grabbed a shirt and jeans and with a twitch of her hand was fully dressed, leather boots and red leather jacket completing her ‘armor’.

“Please don’t go.” Henry whimpered, making no move towards Emma but not leaving the doorway.

“I did everything you asked. I have broken every curse, or done my best, I have helped your mother get her happy fucking ending, I took shit from you for lying about your bastard father, I sat by while you judged me and judged your mother and judged everyone around you. You wouldn’t even take off the cuff until I told you that you could help defeat the Dark Ones your way. You decide everything while we run around trying to live up to the standards set by an overgrown 10 year old! What the hell else do you want from me?!”

“I’m sorry.” he whispered, looking at the ground, fresh tears falling, while his chest heaved.

“What?” Emma asked, expecting some hope speech or moral judgement.

“I’m sorry. You are right. Your life would have been better if I had never found you. I never expected this. I figured the curse would break and everyone would live happily ever after. I was stupid and naive and I have no right to tell you anything. I love you. I love you with everything I have in me and I won’t tell you to stay or go. I just want you to know I love you and I’m sorry.”

Emma’s heart nearly shattered in her chest. She had expected a fight, an argument, a chance to finally tell this brat that the world sucks and he had no right to judge those who actually lived in it. Instead he looked and sounded as broken as she felt.

“Good job, Ems. Yeah, you are going to make one hell of a mother. I mean look how comforting you are to our son. You have made him feel like he is what you really are. At least he will stop believing in heroes now.”

Emma looked to her right to see Neal sneering at her. 

“He is not our son. He is Regina’s! You were nothing more than a fucking sperm donor. Just because he called you Dad don’t let it go to your head. You were less of a father to him than I was a mother.”

“Regina stole him because of the curse she cast!”

“And you lost him because you abandoned me on the word of a lying puppet! You fucking bastard, I wish you were alive so I could kill you myself!”

“Snow and Charming abandon you, you abandon Henry, I suppose Elsa will be raising your little demon girl since you will either get yourself killed going after revenge or off yourself when they are all gone and you realise the only person left alive to hate is yourself. You really are a piece of work Ems. You should save everyone the trouble of having to raise another one of your kids and off yourself now. Try using a gun this time.”

Emma walked up to Neal, inches from his face. She swore she could recognize his scent. That annoying aftershave he always insisted on lifting whenever they had the opportunity.

“I’m more than you ever were. You are just the son of a the biggest coward to ever live. He couldn’t even kill your mother for leaving him to fuck Hook until he became the Dark One and knew he couldn’t lose. You should never show your face even in hell. Don’t worry though, I’ll be sending Daddy dearest to you soon enough and he can watch Hook fuck your mother for eternity, just like you.”

“Watch your mouth…”

“Or what? You couldn’t take me alive, you sure as hell can’t now.” Emma warned the bastard.

“Mom who are you talking to?” Henry asked, slowly walking towards her but careful not to get to close.”

“Stay out of this Henry. Just working out some adult stuff with your dear old Daddy. Remember him? The one you were so mad I lied to you about? So judgemental Henry. If you love me so much did you ever ask him why you should forgive him for betraying me? For abandoning us? Did you Henry? In all those bonding moments he felt he had a right to, did you ever say Daddy, why did you set up Mom to take the fall for your crime?”

“Uh…”

“Answer me Henry! You are big on the truth, God forbid anyone ever lies to the Prince because he has a right to know everything, so tell me the truth. Did you ever ask him why he betrayed me?”

“No.”

“But you wouldn’t speak to me because I lied about him without even hearing my reasoning. You are a piece of work Henry.”

This felt better. Emma could deal with Henry like this. The judgemental little shit.

“I know and I’m sorry. I never should have done that. I never should have treated you the way I did. I should have had more faith in you when you were the Dark One. I should have taken that cuff off right away. I’m sorry. I was wrong and I just want to try to make it up to you.”

Emma froze at those words. Damn it. Why?

“Nice job Ems. See if you can make the kid as broken as you are. If there is anything you are good at besides giving head in the backseat of a VW it’s destroying the people around you.”

Emma turned on Neal with a scream, pent up magic unleashing, blowing a hole through Regina’s bedroom wall into the next room.

At least Neal was gone.

Emma turned around slowly, seeing fear etched into Henry’s face. Fear of her of course. Why wouldn’t he be afraid? She was a monster after all.

“Sorry. I have to go.” Emma grabbed her blanket off the floor and ran out, leaving Henry on the floor arms curled around his knees and eyes closed.

While the events upstairs were unfolding, Elsa was downstairs in the parlor. She had barely stepped into the hall when she felt the presence of magic, Regina’s magic to be exact.

She walked slowly and confidently down the stairs, magic at the ready. The last time she had seen the former Queen who had been so rude to Emma during her time in Storybrooke, Elsa had been unsure of herself, unsure of this strange land and unsure of her magic. She was none of those things now.

“Where is Emma?” Regina asked, appearing more tired than angry.

“Upstairs getting a few belongings that she left here. Then we will be on our way. You no longer have to worry about her.” Elsa answered cooly. “She is mine now. I will take care of her.”

“You have no idea what is wrong with her. You don’t have a damn clue! If you take her to Arendelle, she will get worse, if thats even possible.”

“You had her locked in a dungeon. I would imagine being treated like the royalty she is in a palace would do wonders for her.”

Regina stepped forward only to stop when Elsa raised her hand, frost already forming. The former Queen rolled her eyes.

“I could seriously turn you into a pile of ashes right now, princess. The only reason I haven’t yet is because Emma loves you like a sister. I will not allow her any harm though. She needs psychiatric treatment and medication. You have either of those in Arendelle?”

“I have everything she needs. Why do you even care, Regina? I would think you would be glad to get rid of her.”

“A lot of things have changed since you left, Elsa.”

“You haven’t.” Elsa countered.

Regina shook her head slowly. “All I do everyday is change. I try to be better every day for Henry and for Emma.”

Elsa’s eyebrow rose at that statement.

“I was under the impression you were with Robin Hood. Does he not figure into your reasons for change?”

“Robin and I are no longer together.”

“I suppose you blame Emma for this as well? Is that why you helped her parents lock her up?”

“I don’t blame Emma. I love Emma. I left Robin because we both knew it. I’ve loved her a long time and just recently realized it. I couldn’t deny it any longer after I nearly lost her.”

Elsa laughed sharply. “You love her? You love her? I’m sorry but her boyfriend, the father of the child she is carrying just died! And now you say you love her?”

“I do and she loves me as well.”

“Of course she does. That is why she begged me to get her as far away from you as possible. Thats why she wants to go to Arendelle with me. Because she loves you.”

“Emma is scared and confused right now. Do you even know what is wrong with her?”

“She tried to kill herself. Now she is seeing and hearing people who are not there and not all of them are being nice from what I can gather. Considering everything that has happened to her before I arrived the first time and after I left, I am not surprised. A change of scenery and a stress free life are all she needs to be better.”

“You can’t seriously believe that.” Regina tried.

“You can’t seriously believe she loves you.” Elsa countered. Regina reached into her pocket and pulled out a letter. Elsa prepared to strike until Regina’s other hand raised in a temporary truce and she stretched the letter out to Elsa. Regina knew if she needed to, she could blast Elsa around like a ragdoll. Emma would not react well to hostilities however. She needed Elsa on her side.

Elsa took the suicide note Emma had written Regina and read it without comment. Instead of a softening of her face like Regina hoped for, Elsa’s face hardened instead and she floated the letter back to the Mayor’s hand.

“It seems to me you should take her advice and go back to Robin. I will take care of her and her child. You won’t need to worry about her any longer. Go on with your happy ending.”

Regina was shocked at first by Elsa’s tone but something in the Arendelle Queen’s expression and tone made it clear to her what the problem was.

“Emma loves you like a sister.” Regina pointed out to her.

“And I love her.” Elsa agreed.

“But not like a sister, correct?”

Elsa’s silence was all the conformation Regina needed. Emma’s rection be damned, the possessive side of the former Evil Queen was coming to the forefront.

“She is in an emotioally fragile state and you want to take her away from everything she knews to be in your care, under your influence, completely dependant on you! You want to take advantage of her!”

“I came to save her! I love her but I am not trying to take her and have my wicked way with her. You are the one professing undying love a week after her boyfriend died! Is that why you had her locked up? To have some sort of power over her?”

“I had her locked up to protect her and everyone else in this towne from death! She is not stable and if you are too stupid to see that then how in the hell can you be trusted to take care of her? Have you even thought of what you would be doing, taking an emotionally distrubed, very powerful sorceress full of pain and desperation into your kingdom?”

“Are you sure you aren’t worried that I am right? She would be better off with me and you know it, even if she only ever loves me as a sister it doesn’t matter. Her and Anna are the only ones in my life who have never treated me like a monster and my loyalty is to them. Emma and I are leaving, this is not up for discussion. If you want to visit her in Arendelle, form your own army and march on my kingdom, because that is the only way you will ever se her again.”

Ice chips gathered around Elsa’s hands, while fire ball burst forth from Regina’s and hovered over her open palm, both women staring, past discussion and wondering who would make the first move.

Then the sound of screaming and the wall being blown out of Regina’s bedroom caught both there attention. Emma met them on the way down, pulling up at the sight of Regina.

“Henry’s okay, but he is in your room scared. I would go to him if I were you Mom.” Emma told her, moving closer to Elsa.

“Did you hurt him, Emma?” please no was all Regina could think.

“Of course not. His father is gone though. Sorry about the hole in your wall.”

“Emma, Neal has been dead for sometime now.” Regina reminded her.

“Yeah, but I killed him just to make sure.”

“Emma please don’t go.” Regina begged.

“I’m sorry Regina. It’s better this way. I’m no good for anyone, especially you.”

Elsa grabbed Emma’s hand and started moving towards the front door. Regina moved to stop them and looked upstairs.

“He needs his mother Regina. Thats you.” Emma told her, knowing where Regina would go. 

“He needs both of uf.” After a second longing look at Emma, Regina raced upstairs.

Emma and Elsa teleported to the woods near the Toll Bridge. Elsa raised her hand and a shining door appeared, filled with light.

“You ready for this?” Elsa asked, smiling and gripping Emma’s hand tighter. The only sad part about returning home last time was leaving Emma. If she had Emma with her everything would have been perfect. As it was, fate had been cruel to Emma but had given Elsa a second chance and a chance to make life easier for Emma no matter the form. She would help with the baby, Emma would be by her side in the castle, along with Anna. Eventually perhaps Emma could come to see Elsa in more than a sisterly fashion but that didn’t matter. It was enough to have her best friend back.

The two stepped towards the portal and were three steps away when a blast of dark purple magic hit streamed over the two’s heads and hit the top of the door. The light brightened to the point that Emma and Else both covered their eyes and hit the ground. Emma looked in horror as the door grew brighter and then in a shower of very bright colors disappeared for good.

Both sets of eyes turned toward the source of the blast.

Regina stood there, dark eyes focused on Elsa.

“Looks like your ride home just got cancelled, your Highness. No one is leaving Storybrooke with Emma.”

Regina stepped up to Emma who rose from the ground, pushing Elsa behind her. When she was inches from her face she spoke.

“You don’t get to decide who is good for me. We make our own fate. I think it is time we had a serious talk Emma… alone.”


	11. Making Storybrooke Great Again

I do not own OUAT or its characters. Thanks for the responses. You guys keep me going. Things are going to get a bit violent over the next few chapters while Regina tries to reach Emma and Elsa tries to keep Regina from reching Emma, leaving Emma plenty of time to visit old friends and enemies. Emma’s mental problems aren’t going to get better either, not for a while and only if Regina can get her to get help.I guess we will see if true love can conquer all or not.

Chapter 11

Elsa stepped in front of Emma, furious at the woman who had just prevented their departure despite Emma trying to shield her.

“You are not going anywhere with her alone!” Elsa yelles, fury rolling in her gut.

Regina smirked at the offended blonde Queen. She had no idea how serious Regina was. If she had to hurt Elsa she would, whatever Emma felt about it be damned. Regina would not lose her now, not when Emma needed help.

“Barbie, I will do whatever is best for Emma and if you hope to ever get back to your so called kingdom, you will stay out of my way.”

“Regina what have you done?” Emma asked, still in shock at what had just happened. She was so close and Regina had ruined it. Every part of the Savior told her to attack except her heart, which would not allow her to harm Regina.

“I’m not letting you go.” the former Queen simply informed her. “I have lost too many people in my life that I care about and I won’t lose you. Not again Emma.”

“It’s not your decision!” Emma screamed.

“Maybe not but I did it anyway. Deal with it Miss Swan.”

Elsa placed a hand on Emma’s shoulder from behind. “Don’t worry Emma. I will find a way to get us home and I will not allow you to be locked up again.” Elsa whispered in her ear.

“I did that to protect her!” Regina argued.

“You did it to control her. The bracelet is destroyed Regina. What is your plan now?” Elsa yelled back.

“Emma I am asking you, can I please speak to you alone?”

Emma’s heart was racing, not sure of what move to make. She wanted to hide behind Elsa, find a way to go to her new home, but she also wanted to speak to Regina, now that they were on equal footing.

“Elsa give me a moment. I will speak to her and then you and I can begin working on a portal. I need to make her understand that she needs to stay out of our way.”

“I don’t like it.” Elsa told her fiercely.

“Worried Elsa?” Regina asked her, raising an eyebrow and curling her lips slightly.

“About you? The woman who imprisoned her? Hardly Regina. You may think you are powerful but I have recently fought a war and learned a great deal more about my magic. I do not fear you.”

“Then you should have no problem with Emma speaking to me.”

“It’s fine Elsa. Stay right here. When I am done with her, we can leave, find a place for you to stay.”

“Me? Where are you planning on being?”

“In my car. I have lived it in before and it feels like home to me. I can’t ask you to do that, it isn’t the most comfortable place to sleep.” Emma explained. She needed familiarity right now. She craved it. Pregnant, angry, driven by revenge and hearing voices, seeing people who are not there, she needed to ground herself if she had any chance of exacting the revenge she desired.

“I go where you go Emma. I will stay here while you speak to the Evil Queen. If she so much as looks like she plans to attack you, I will curse her, freeze her heart and watch her die.”

Regina was not threatened by Elsa. She knew the witch had power but she was no match for Regina. Not when Regina had so much to lose. Emma relied on Elsa the way Regina wished she relied on her. That would have to change.

Emma walked a ways into the forest, not looking to see if Regina followed. She knew the former Queen would. Once they were away from Elsa’a range of hearing but still close enough, Emma stopped.

“What do you want to say to me Regina?”

“She probably wants to see how many fingers she can fit into you Swan. I’m betting all five.”

Hook was behind the former Queen, looking the same as he did after Emma turned him into a Dark One. She couldn’t talk to him. Regina would never let her go in peace.

“Can’t she wait until my body is cold to make her move? You aren’t any better. If you had the chance and the Ice Queen wasn’t behind you, I can imagine Regina would be on the ground right now while you rubbed her pussy with your leg. Bad form darling. I died for your family and this is how you repay me?”

“Shut up.” I whispered to the bastard.

“I haven’t said anything yet… who is behind me Emma?” Regina asked. She was too observant for my own good.

“No one. Don’t be ridiculous. What do you want? I need to find a place for Elsa to stay since you screwed up any chance she has of getting back to her kingdom.”

“Emma can you be honest with me for one minute?”

“I’ve never lied to you Regina.” Emma pointed out. Okay maybe she omitted facts in their rocky relationship but she never outright lied.

“Then who did you just see?”

“Hook.” Emma admitted.

“Do you think he is really there?” Regina asked.

“No. I guess not.” Emma admitted, doubt obvious in her voice.

“Emma you know you have something wrong. Something that can be fixed if you trust me. Do you really want to live your life this way? Is this the best thing for your child?”

Emma stood in silence, thinking about this. No it wasn’t, she admitted to herself, but these ghosts were a part of her. They had scarred her soul and were her cross to bear.

“You know who my baby is? I know you know.” Emma said instead of answering Regina’s question.

“Yes, I know. That doesn’t matter though Emma. Your child will be loved, no matter what. Just because the baby has the first Dark One’s soul does not mean she will be evil. Nimue was not always evil. Merlin wouldn’t have loved her if she was.”

“Snow and Charming will try to get rid of her.”

“No they won’t Emma. They love you…”

“I was raped because of them! I was homeless and beaten and starved and imprisoned because of them! Do not tell me that they love me! They replaced me and only tried to contact me when I was needed. They can both go fuck themselves Regina!”

Emma stepped closer to Regina who did not back down a bit. No matter what, Regina had never been afraid of Emma. Angy, disappointed, yes but never afraid.

“So you blame then but not me for casting the curse?”

“Yes. You were manipulated by Rumple so he could find his bastard son. They weren’t manipulated. They gave me up to save their precious world. They deserved that curse! I wish I had never broken it!”

“You never answered my question. Do you think this problem you have is good for the baby?”

“You will never talk me out of revenge Regina.”

Regina’s face saddened, Emma noticed. She was disappointed. She wanted to protect Snow and James.

“And you will never lock me up again.” Emma finished.

“You are right, I won’t. I should have taken you to my home. I thought if I stayed with you, that you would be okay. That was my mistake.”

“You had the freedom to leave!”

“Yes I did and I am sorry. I was scared to death that you would do something you couldn’t take back. Something that you wouldn’t have even thought of before you were the Dark One. I am still frightened but I will not stand in your way. I have no moral ground to stand on, but I can only hope you can take a lesson from my mistakes, my quest for revenge and everything it did to me.” Regina pleaded.

“You got my son. You said it yourself in Neverland, you have no regrets. Why shouldn’t I take my happiness? I want them all dead Regina and I will have blood.”

Regina sighed, looking into Emma’s blood shot angry eyes. She knew Emma was too far gone to talk her out of revenge.

“By the way, unless you want to be the next Dark One, I would suggest giving me that Dagger.”

Regina tensed at that. The things Emma could do with that Dagger chilled her to think about.

“Not until you let me help you.” she tried.

“Nope. I’m going to kill Gold first. I am not sure what happens when I kill him outside of the town line. The darkness may return to the dagger and you. Everything I gave up for you will have been for nothing.”

“And what if the darkness attacks you the moment you step back into town?”

“Its a chance I am willing to take. What else can it do to me, really? I am what I am Regina. I have put up with too much shit in my life to keep being a victim. Now where is the Dagger?”

“Safe. So unless you are going to take a chance on sending the Darkness into me, then you are just going to have to wait. Unless I mean so little to you that my soul doesn’t matter.”

Emma flinched but was not deterred. She had a pretty good idea where the Dagger was. It called to her after all. Begging her to kill the Dark One. He was a weak coward, Emma was not. But she also had no intention of being a slave again to that hunk of metal.

“You and Elsa are the only one’s I care about in this world Regina.”

“Henry?” Regina tried.

“I think if you talk to him you will find he wants nothing to do with me.” the blonde admitted.

“And I suppose that is why when I ran upstairs he wrapped himself around my waist and begged me to stop you from leaving?”

Emma was taken aback by that. Her short term memory seemed to be failing her as of late, just as it had when Elsa pried the truth out of so easily. She hadn’t been able to keep up with her lies. At times her head seemed to fog, not just when she saw the visions but at other times too. Still she knew she had yelled at Henry. Not just yelled but tried to destroy her son with her words. How could he forgive her? Why would he? It must be a trick.

“I have to go Regina. Thanks to you, Elsa and I have a problem. Stay out of my way. I don’t belong to you.”

“You belong to her?” Regina asked, her face doing a poor job of hiding her disbelief.

“I belong with her, by her side.”

“No you don’t. This is your home. Even if you hate everyone here this is still your home Emma. We can make the voices stop, together. Stay with me. If she has to stay as well that is fine, but stay with me. Let me help you. Aren’t you tired of the vocies, the visions?”

“They are my ghosts, my problem. I have to go now. I love you Regina. Go back to Robin and do not stand in my way again.”

Emma looked towards Elsa and both disappeared in clouds of grey smoke.

Regina screamed in frustration. She was so close to Emma she could have, should have, reached out to grab her. Who knew what the two blondes would do now? It was obvious Elsa would not be a voice of reason. She would do whatever it took to win Emma’s favor. With nothing to do and no idea where the two would have gone, Regina telported back home. She needed to call Snow to warn her. Not that it would matter. Snow refused to let the former Queen heal her face, believing she deserved what happened to her. Neither her nor David would ever raise a hand against Emma except in defense of their son.

Having nothing better to do until Emma made her presence known elsewhere Regina teleported herself home to find Henry crying on the floor of her bedroom. 

“Did she leave?” he asked between sniffles. It tore Regina in two to see him like this but the anger she would normally feel towards Emma or anyone for doing this to her boy just wasn’t there. Emma was sick and if admitting to seeing Hook behind Regina wasn’t proof of that, she would have had to been blind.

“No darling. I destroyed the portal before she could step into it.”

“Thank you Mom. Where is she?”

“I don’t know. She and Elsa disappeared. Honey you understand Emma is very sick right now, don’t you?”

“It’s not a curse? You are sure?”

Regina sighed, wishing she could lie about this. A curse would be so much easier to blame.

“No. Archie thinks Emma may have something called Schizophrenia. It could be caused by a lot of things, but what she went through in her life before she ever got to Storybrooke was most likely a big trigger. This would have happened if you had never found her. At least now she is around family and we can take care of her right?”

Regina knew Henry had been feeling quite a bit of guilt and responsibility for everything Emma had gone through the past couple years. It was not his fault but the guilt still weighed on him. Like Emma he felt the need to be responsible for everything.

“Why is Elsa helping her not get help? Doesn’t she know Ma needs it? I mean she had too right? Does she even know that Ma is pregnant?”

“I think she does Henry.”

“So why is Elsa trying to take her away from us? She is supposed to be a he… I guess there really aren’t such things as heroes are there?”

That question hurt Regina deeply. Henry had always believed in heroes, those around him, his grandparents, Emma, Robin, Hook, even her. It made her feel good to be thought of like this but she knew there was no hero who was bigger in Henry’s world than the Savior and his mother Emma Swan. His own personal White Knight. Now the White Knight had shown she was human like everyone else. Emma never tried to hide the fact and even argued with her son in the beginning about giving Regina a chance to prove herself and show that she loved him. The former Queen admitted that Henry may have never given her a chance after the curse broke if not for encouragement from Emma. Had Emma told him to stay away, away he would have stayed. Regina may have been the more motherly of the two but Emma Swan was the pinnacle of what a hero should be in his mind.

“Your mother is a hero Henry. She is just lost now, like we all get sometimes. I was lost for a long time until I had you. Emma was lost for a long time until you found her. But what she has Henry, this is an illness, one that can be controlled by medication and therapy but in a normal person it is very difficult to live with. In someone as powerful as your mother… it is going to be even more difficult. Elsa loves your mother. The two connected during Elsa’s time here in a way that I …” didn’t like at all was Regina’s intial thought “ don’t understand, but Elsa will do anything she thinks is for the protection of your mother. If Emma does not trust Snow and David, then Elsa does not trust them. You can understand loyalty. You are a very loyal person yourself.”

“But she is hurting Ma! It’s like she doesn’t want her to get help!”

Regina held the boy tighter as they sat on the floor, trying to calm his shaking.

“She thinks she can help your mother and doesn’t need anyone else. I just have to convince Emma that it isn’t true.”

“You can do it Mom. You can always reach her. If anyone is going to find her it will be you.”

“You think so?”

“I know it, Mom. I believe in you. Maybe heroes aren’t real but you are. I know you will bring her back and get her help.”

Regina ran her fingers through Henry’s hair rather than saying anything. Before Elsa had shown up, Regina felt confident that she could reach Emma. As heartbreaking as the letter Emma wrote Regina, she at least knew that Emma loved her.

But now she had to contend with a girl who Emma loved as a sister, doing her best to ensure Emma relied on her for everything. Emma wants love, and she will take whatever kind Elsa offers, even if it is more than a sisterly love. She doubted Elsa would take advantage of Emma now in this state, Elsa was not evil, but she would take this opportunity to sink her hooks so deeply into Emma that the Savior would rely on her for everything, live to please her, in whatever manner the Ice Queen wanted.

“Let’s go to bed honey. I haven’t slept well in nights and neither have you. I don’t know where Emma is but she won’t have gone far. She would never take Elsa out of town, not knowing if she could get the Queen to her kingdom and not having the Snow Queen’s scroll. We get sleep and then I will start the search back up tommorrow.”

“It won’t be hard. To find her I mean.” Henry mumbled.

“Henry, Emma is very good at hiding.” Regina reminded him.

“She won’t be hiding. Find Mr. Gold and wait. You know she is coming for him. Grandma and gramps too. She won’t hide, Mom. You said it, she is sick. She was screaming at Dad when I was in the room with her. She thought he was there. I almost didn’t recognize her. She was scarier than when she was the Dark One. When she was the Dark One she dressed weird and seemed cold but she was still there, inside. I didn’t see her today Mom. I didn’t see her in that room. She scared me. I love her but she isn’t herself and whatever she is, it is scary.”

Regina could not argue with that. She stood with Henry and walked him to his room. Before they got to the door he stopped and asked if he could sleep with her tonight. Thinking of the giant hole in her wall, Regina suggested that she sleep in his room tonight. The two cuddled up with each other, Henry falling into a restless sleep and Regina not sleeping at all.

By the next morning the town of Storybrooke had heard the tale before the paper had even been tossed. In Granny’s the diner was full, not just due to the breakfast crowd but by those wanting to hear the latest rumors, many of which had grown outlandish even by Storybrooke standards overnight.

Archie was in the hospital with two broken legs, courtesy of the Savior. Regina had torn Whale’s heart out and ordered him out of town before she crushed it. Elsa had attacked the hospital, siding with Emma and a brawl between Emma, Regina and Elsa had ensued that carried out into the forest, walls of fire meeting walls of ice tearing the landscape to shreds. Emma had attacked Snow White who was currently near death in the hospital. Emma Swan was a maniac and more powerful than she ever was as the Dark One. Rumple was hiding in fear for his life and Bella had left him because he was the Dark One again. Emma and Elsa had tried to curse the entire town and Regina had stopped them. Prince Chaming had murdered Marco and August. Regina had recaptured Emma and had both her and Elsa in the dungeon under the library. Granny had stopped trying to dispel the rumors after five minutes. She briefly thought about closing the diner but busines was business and whether they were here or somewhere else, too much had happened that the citizens would be talking regardless.

Granny walked out of the kitchen and was shocked to hear the noise had stopped. Not most of it but all of it. No one in the diner was moving or saying a word, instead all looking towards the door.

Emma Swan and Elsa just walked inside. Emma was wearing her red leather jacket and skin tight blue jeans with a simple white blouse and knee high black leather boots. Her hair was long and bright, golden, compared to the silver it was when she was the Dark One. Granny noticed on Emma’s belt a badge was clipped. A Sheriff’s badge. Elsa stood behind Emma and she was also a revelation. Granny had never seen her in anything besides her blue gown. Now she was dressed in jeans and boots similiar to Emma’s while wearing a blue Storybrooke High School t shirt. Her hair was also hanging freely, not in the intricate braids it had been in the past. If Granny hand’t heard that Elsa was in town she might have mistaken her for someone else.

Emma and Elsa had gone on a quick shopping trip this morning.

Before the stores had opened.

Emma took a look around the Diner and smirked.

“Boo!”

Everyone flinched, causing Emma to giggle. Granny had never heard that sound come from her mouth. It was childlike, like a baby playing with blocks. Elsa did not look exactly comfortable behind Emma but smiled anyway.

Emma walked to the bar and Granny froze, thinking if she had done anything to piss the crazy woman off lately.

“Good morning Granny.”

“Good morning Emma. Hello Elsa. I heard you were… visiting.”

“It’s good to see you again, Granny.” Elsa greeted her quietly.

“Granny I swear I would kill for bearclaw right now. Seems like forever since I had one. Elsa is going to need breakfast as well, and we need a room. I had a little accident at my house the other night as I am sure you know and oops I don’t have a house any longer. Until the two of us find something a bit more accomodating we are going to have to hole up with you. That won’t be a problem, will it?”

Granny tensed but realized she really didn’t have a choice. What was she going to say to two out of the four most powerful magic users in Storybrooke.?Considering from what Snow had told her, Gold was under Regina’s thumb so he really didn’t even count for the time being.

“One or two rooms Emma?” Granny asked, trying to smile. Elsa answered quickly.

“We only need one. We slept in Ema’s car last night. She tried to warn me but I wouldn’t listen and my back is killing me.”

“You sure you don’t want your own room Elsa?” Emma asked, sounding a bit surprised.

“I want to be close in case you have any nightmares.” Elsa whispered not low enough that Granny couldn’t hear.

Emma smiled and then looked over Granny’s shoulder. Her eyes grew cold.

“She does not want that. Get your mind out of the fucking gutter, pirate.” Emma hissed. 

Granny did not turn around. She knew no one was behind her. She did notice the concern on Elsa’s face and the way she gently grabbed Emma’s elbow, causing her to look her way.

“Of course, I will get one room ready. If you two want to try and find a table…” Granny looked around and saw the diner was full. Emma turned and four tables emptied as people rushed out.

“I guess some tables just became open. I could also use a cup of coffee and Elsa likes orange juice.”

“You don’t want hot cocoa with cin…” Granny’s question died at the look on Emma’s face. “One cup of coffee and one glass of orange juice coming up.”

After a quiet breakfast in which the diners did their best to file out as natuarally but quickly as possible, Granny was back, informing the two that their room was ready. Of course she had already called Regina and Snow and asked both of them not to confront Emma in her diner as she was still paying for repairs from landing back in Storybrooke after the Camelot curse.

Emma settled Elsa in, promising they would go shopping this afternoon for more clothes and toiletries and promising Elsa that she would be careful. Elsa told her she would stay in but had no plans to leave Emma unguarded. She would follow from a distance to protect Emma from Regina. Elsa had been shocked by Regina’s proclamation of love. The blonde knew Emma was sick from Ariel told her but honestly felt like this was destiny. Never being attracted to men or anyone really besides Emma Swan, Elsa felt like this was destiny. A chance for a new start for both of them, together, in whatever form or fashion Emma would have her. It would be enough to have her near. 

Now she had to deal with Regina and worse, judging by the letter Regina had gleefully shoved at her yesterday, not only was Emma capable of having romantic feelings for a woman but apparently already had them for Regina.

To make matters worse, Elsa knew that some of what Regina said was valid. Emma seemed fine last night but occasionally Elsa would wake up thinking Emma was talking to her, only to find the blonde wide awake, looking out the window and whispering. If this land had medicine that could help, Elsa would have to discover what this magic potion was and stock up on it before they left for Arendelle. The portal had been set up in Elsa’s personal chambers. Once Anna saw it was gone, she had no doubt her sister would have the portal expert begin work immediately on building another. It was a matter of time and time Elsa planned to use.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?”

“No Mom, I’ll be fine.” Emma told her, rolling her eyes and leaning in to kiss the blonde on the cheek.

“But work Emma? I mean you haven’t been the Sheriff in a long time. Are you sure you are even still the Sheriff?”

“Who is going to fire me Elsa? Prince Charming? I’d like to see him try.”

“Just be careful. If you need me…”

“I’ll call the room and we will pick you up a magic phone with an Emma button when I get off, probably around noon. I need to see what a mess the paperwork is. I’m sure Regina is having an anxiety attack at Town Hall.”

Emma strolled through the streets of Storybrooke smiling, with a to go cup of coffee in her hand.Yes she hated this town but she would be gone soon and honestly she needed the work to keep her busy.

Actually she needed the work because it would put her in a position of power that she wanted while she gave everyone exactly what they deserved. Walking into the station she was a bit surprised to see David Nolan sitting at the deputy’s desk.

“Can I help you?” Emma asked, laughing in her head. She had no doubt Granny called the King and Queen and most likely Regina to tell them Emma’s every move.

“Emma? How are you… doing?”

“I’ve never been better.” Emma lied. Seeing his face caused her anger to surface but she would hold it in. This was the man who fought Regina’s guard to put her in a piece of furniture. Emma was not ready to give him and Snow what they deserved. She needed time.

“So what are you… doing here?” he asked, feeling nervous but also fighting off an urge to hug the woman who was his age but he would always see as his little princess. 

“Unless an election has happened in the last few months I am still the Sheriff. What are you doing here?”

“Uh…”

“You are not the Sheriff, Emma. I have fired you.” Regina told her, walking in. Emma turned and smiled at the woman who never failed to be able to turn her on with a simple argument.

“Yeah I checked the town charter and since being Sheriff is an elected position I can’t be fired anymore than you can be fired from being mayor. I guess we are just going to have to live with each other Madam Mayor. I wanted to leave, you destroyed my portal so now you are stuck with me.”

“Emma I don’t think the citizenss of Storybrooke would feel safe having you as their Sheriff.” Regina countered.

“Probably as safe as the former Evil Queen being mayor.” Emma fairly argued. “Besides if they have a problem with it I would invite any of them to the station to talk to me. Judging by my reception at the Diner this morning I don’t think it will be a problem. I am glad you are here Regina. The town charter also says I am in control of the personel of the Sheriff’s Department. So you can take David here off the payroll. David you are fired. Leave your gun and badge on the desk and leave.”

David and Regina both stared open mouthed at Emma. David did not move until Emma’s hand began to glow.

“We going to have a problem here, Dave?” she asked.

“Emma please don’t do this.” Regina begged, walking up directly behind her. Emma stiffened not from fear but from the tension she always felt when Regina was near her.

“It’s done. I only have the budget for one deputy and I plan to talk to my candidate this morning. I feel certain he will take the job.”

“What candidate?” David asked, very concerned, not about his job but what Emma might be up to.

“You know him actually. Took his spot after he got fired from at his last position ironically. Goes by Lancelot. I’ve been keeping him safe, hidden the last month or so. Couldn’t have him going after Arthur for some old vendetta and screwing up my plans that failed miserably. He will take the job though. I have something to offer him in exchange for his loyalty that no one else can offer.”

“What is that Emma?” Regina asked, already suspecting the answer.

“The throne of Camelot, sending his people back home and breaking the curse his true love is under. Oh and King Arthur’s head on a plate. I’m thinking that should seal the deal. What do you think Regina?”

“I… where have you kept him?” the former Queen asked.

“Thats my secret. Now David if you could get your ass out of my station I need to get things here organized. Regina we have been so busy lately I am sure you have much to do at Town Hall. Let’s get started making Storybrooke great again, shall we?”


	12. Nightmares and murder

Do not own OUAT.

Chapter 12

“Hello Lancelot.”

“Emma Swan. I was beginning to think you had forgotten about me.” The tall dark man, said with a smile, standing outside of his small cabin. He had been living in the forest, hidden from the people of Camelot since Hook’s curse.

“Of course not Lancelot. You upheld your end of the bargain. You stayed away from Arthur and now I plan to keep mine.” Emma told him in a monotone voice. Her moods she noted had been flucuating through no fault of her own. While she had been on a high, firing David from the Sheriff’s Department, her good mood disappeared the moment she lef the station

In truth her mood soured when she left Regina.

“So you are no longer the Dark One. Can you still break the curse on Guinevere ?”

“I can. The two of you can be King and Queen. I will kill Arthur for you.”

Lancelot disturbed by this, his face reflecting his surprise.

“That was never part of our bargain. I do not wish Arthur dead.” he calmly explained, hoping this was perhaps a test.

“No, but I do. He teamed with Zelena to oppose me in Camelot. He had my Queen tied to a tree and threatened her life. I’m afraid I can’t allow that to go unanswered. Don’t worry about a thing. His blood won’t be on your hands, noble knight. His fate was sealed the day he decided to go after me.”

“I can certainly understand that reasoning Emma, but you are no longer the Dark One. From what I understand you are called the Savior. This isn’t exactly how I expected the Savior to behave. I simply want Guinivere and I wish for our people to return to Camelot.”

“Then you should have no worry about what happens to Arthur, correct? I am doing you a favor. He will always go after Guinivere and go after his crown, even with Excalibur destroyed. I will handle the portal. Turns out I need one myself. But I am going to need your help. I need a deputy, someone to keep order in the town. Soon I am guessing, the town will come for me, try to stop me. I hope for their sakes they do not but I have to be prepared. At that point the town will need a new Sheriff. A Sheriff who is secretly loyal to me.” Emma explained.

“I understood your father was your deputy. Is he not loyal?” Lancelot asked, wondering what Emma was trying to involve him in.

“I’m afraid that shortly he will not be in any condition to be a deputy. Besides I fired him today.”

Lancelot was surprised by this and took a closer look at Emma Swan. When she had first approached him on the arrival in Storybrooke, it was obvious she was the Dark One by her dress, pale almost shimmering skin and translucent white hair. Now she appeared to be a different person, a kinder person. But while as the Dark One she was calculating but not overly violent, he recognized that this woman was or could be very violent. Despite her much prettier appearance he noted a dull glassiness in her eyes that were tinged in red. Her hair while much better than it was as the Dark One was a tangled mess as if she had been pulling on it constantly. Her hands were shaking and she appeared to be very, very nervous, her eyes darting around the surrounding foliage as if expecting to be attacked at any moment.

“You have your father’s hair and eyes. Your mother’s chin as well. I was the one who married the two of them. Did you know your Grandmother gave her life so that Snow could conceive you?”

“A mistake Snow will pay for. My affairs with my so called parents are none of your concern, Lancelot.”

“I beg to differ. I admittedly do not know James that well but Snow is a friend. Whatever plans you have to harm the ones who simply love you, I won’t be a part of, favors be damned. You owe me a debt and I expect you to pay it. Our agreement was Guinivere free of the curse Arthur has her under and a portal back to Camelot in exchange for me staying out of your business and not attacking Arthur. I have fulfilled my end of the bargain. I want no part in whatever plans you may have or the death of Arthur.”

Emma’s sour attitude of indifference was gone in a flash. She lashed out, striking the Knight with magic, dark and light flowing from her hands. He was pushed twenty feet away in the air and landed roughly, clutching his chest.

“You know nothing of Snow White and Prince James. They used me and put me through hell and I plan to do the same to them. My grudges are my business. If you don’t want to help me thats fine but do not say you are a friend of my mother!”

Lancelot was lifted from the ground by an unseen force, clutching his throat for breath that would not come, as if two large hands were wrapped around his neck.

“I should take your heart, you bastard. You want to defend Snow White? Afraid of what might happen to the Queen? So be it. Stay out of my business, Lancelot. If you don’t want to help that is fine but stay away from them. If you don’t I will fulfill my end of the bargain and free Guinivere from the curse right before I kill her and throw her body into the portal. Don’t ever make the mistake of fucking with a woman who has nothing to lose!”

Emma dropped Lancelot and disappeared, teleporting herself to the basement of Storybrooke General. She had no love for this place but the man she needed to speak to was here. Using magic to bring her gun to her hand she walked down the hall, looking into the cells.

“Can I… what the hell are you doing here?!” Nurse Ratched practically screamed. She reached for her cell phone before Emma stopped her completely. Walking up to the nurse Emma waved her hand.

“I was never here, you never saw me. Go upstairs and take a break. A long one. Do not come down here no matter what you hear for at least thirty minutes.”

Nurse Ratched said nothing, her eyes glazing over and her body moving to the end of the hall to do as Emma instructed. 

Looking through each window she stopped for a second to wave at King George. The blonde briefly thought of killing him for attempting to set up Ruby for murder but passed. He looked miserable enough locked away as Emma had been. He did not even have someone as beautiful as Regina to stay with him. Finally at the end of the hall she saw Arthur, looking so sad. His beard wasn’t as trimmed as it had been, the poor thing.

With a flick of her finger the door unlocked and opened. Arthur looked hopeful at first but his face turned to one of fear quickly.

“Dark One?”

“Not quite.” Emma told him with a smirk. “I’m a whole lot worse. Tell me Arthur, have you ever given any consideration as to the manner of your death? I have thought about mine. I wanted to be burned, ash, nothing left. But now I have a problem. I am pregnant, so it wouldn’t be just my life that was ending, it would be my precious baby girl and that cannot happen. Instead I plan to cleanse the Earth before her birth.”

Emma pointed her gun at the disgraced King.

“What is that?” I’ve seen it before, Davd has one! It is a gun!”

“Got it in one, Arthur.”

Emma fired four shots into his stomach, watching as if through someone elses eyes while he stumbled back and hit the floor. Walking up to his figure lying on the cell floor she smiled down at him, laying, bleeding in his sad blue hospital scrubs.

“Not exactly the ending you had in mind, is it King?”

Emma stayed until the light went out of Arthur’s eyes five agonizing minutes later. Gunshot wounds to the stomach were one of the most painful deaths, the blonde had heard. A hooker she had known while living on the streets of Minneapolis had been shot in the stomach and Emma watched her die, unable to do anything but hold dirty rags to her wound until the ambulance arrived. By that time, the kid, for that is what she had been, had mercifully died.

Sealing the room with blood magic, Emma disappeared. She had things to do and supplies to gather. Before she could visit Snow and James she had a few more stops. One in particular to a magical hat maker who had once kidnapped her and her best friend Mary Margaret.

First she needed to check in with her sister and make sure she was okay. Elsa was powerful and could take care of herself but the two of them together were unstoppable and despite her time here before, Elsa was still in a strange land and Emma’s responsibility.

While this was going on Regina had stormed into Granny’s, bypassed the old woman and walked straight up the stairs, Emma’s door swinging open for her. She walked in and saw Elsa.

Naked on the bed.

“What the hell do you think you are doing?” Regina asked, her possessive nature yearning to be set free and destroy the young blonde tart on Emma’s bed. Had this royal tramp seduced Emma already?

“I was taking a nap. What are you doing? Barging into our room, hoping to catch me in a state of undress Regina? Not very decent of you. If you wouldn’t mind stepping out so I can dress?”

Elsa lay on top of the sheets on her back, completely nude.

“Why are you naked?” Regina asked, walking inside, the door closing behind her. “Where is Emma?”

Elsa’s face finally showed a bit of disappointment.

“I don’t know where Emma is. She said she would be back by noon from work but I haven’t seen her yet.”

Regina watched snow swirl around the Queen and dress her in the very tight blue jeans the tramp had been wearing earlier this morning along with a skin tight blue turtle neck sweater. Judging by her hardened nipples, Regina guessed she was not wearing a bra.

“So you decided to wait for your emotionally disturbed ‘sister’, completely nude on the bed?” 

“Nothing she hasn’t seen before. I find the clothes of this land to be chafing. I honestly don’t understand how Emma wears them all day but I am glad she does. Did you know when I stayed with Emma the last time I was here, we shared a bed? Snow’s loft was small. I slept in the nude there as well and Emma never minded. Unfortunately she is more of a long shirt and panties woman but our legs brushed together often. She has the sofest skin, not that you would know.”

Regina’s jealousy raged but it would not control her. 

“So you decided to take a nap on top of the sheets completely nude? I thought you would have more tact than that, Elsa. Emma needs help and you know it!”

“I plan to help her!”

“I can see that! Your idea of help is not what she needs though! She needs medical help, not being dry humped by the Ice Queen!” Regina countered.

“I see your jealousy written all over your face. You know you can’t compete with me Regina. She will be mine and I don’t care how badly you think she needs your help. I will take these magic potions you say can help her make the visions go away with us. As much as she needs, until my potion masters can replicate them.” Elsa told her, anger showing on her pale but quickly reddening face.

“Potions? You don’t even know what medication is, you idiot! They are not potions she needs. Magic won’t fix this, only science will!”

“I suppose we will see, won’t we? If you truly care for her you will let me know where this so called medication is kept. We are running out of time. You may have destroyed my portal but it opened to my bedroom…”

“There is a surprise.” Regina quipped sarcastically.

“and once my sister sees it gone our wizard who made the first portal will make another.” Elsa finished, ignoring Regina’s implication.

“I’ll destroy that one as well. I am not letting her go.” the former queen told her.

“It is not your choice! She doesn’t love you, no matter what that damn letter said. As you have pointed out yourself, she is not in her right state of mind, no thanks to you and her so called family. Once I can get her away from this cursed land she will be fine. I will take care of her!”

Fire wrapped around Regina’s hands.

“Go ahead and attack me. Show Emma who your really are, Evil Queen. I will defend myself but I will not attack you. I am not evil. I love her.”

“I think it’s time you disappeared completely. You want to call me evil? You haven’t seen anything yet.” Regina said, her voice quiet and deadly. She knew she was being sidetracked by this whore, her mind should be focused on Emma’s welfare but this threat had to be eliminated first…

“Regina!” a voice screamed behind her.

“What?!” she turned to see Granny standing in the hallway. The worry on the old woman’s face snapped Regina out of the bloodlust she had been in seconds before. The mayor always knew how closely the Evil Queen lurked beneath her surface. It was a daily struggle at times not to take what she wanted, act as she wanted, but one she did for Henry… and Emma. Emma kept her grounded and Regina could not lose herself just because Emma was not here.

“If you could restrain yourself from burning down my diner I would deeply appreciate it. Something has happened at the hospital. Arthur is dead and no one can get into his cell. David and Snow are on their way.”

“How did he die?” Regina asked, dreading the answer, imagining Emma snapping the man’s neck. She had no love for the bastard but if Emma had killed, if she had crossed that line, there would be no stopping her. Murder was a drug as was revenge. Once a person of Emma’s power decided that line could be crossed, nothing was sacred. Regina knew this too well.

“Doc can’t tell exactly by looking in the window but he is lying in a puddle of blood, probably shot.”

“Why hasn’t Nurse Ratched opened the door?” Regina asked, eyes never leaving Elsa as the blonde realized who had done this.

“According to Doc, she is walking around upstairs telling everyone she has to take a long break. No one else can open the door, even with a key.”

“That doesn’t sound good.” 

The voice surprised everyone. Emma walked next to Regina, giving her a smile and then giving Elsa a once over, her eyes traveling straight to Elsa’s chest. The Savior seemed a bit surprised but shook her head and refocused on Regina.

“Sounds like I have a homicide to investigate.” Emma said casually.

“I think we both know who did this Emma.” Regina told her.

“Wow. Let me guess. Cora? No, Snow killed her. But Cora was the one who set you up for Archie’s fake murder, correct? Snow does have a history of homicide. I will take that into consideration. I wonder if homicidal tendencies are genetic? I’ll have to ask Archie the next time I hurt him. Elsa will you be alright for dinner? I left money in the top drawer.”

“I’ll be … actually I would like to come with you Emma.” Elsa told her.

“A crime scene is no place for a Queen of your delicate nature.” Regina told her, glaring, her insides in turmoil over Emma’s actions. Regina had recognized that Emma was dead set on her path to revenge but had not expected it to start so soon.

“Of course.” Emma told her and both of them disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Regina rolled her eyes and did the same, materializing right next to the two blondes under the hospital.

Regina attempted to open the door but was held back by a magical barrier. She recognized it immediately. Blood magic. She also recognized the lingering scent of Emma’s magic.

“Something tells me only you will be able to get into the room Emma.” Regina drolled.

“Why would you say that Gina? Running low on juice?”

Regina! What is going …”

Snow White stopped running and speaking when she recognized her daughter standing next to Elsa and Regina. David ran quickly up to Snow and pushed her behind him. Emma of course rolled her eyes.

“Protecting Snow White from your daughter David? Nice to know where your loyalty lies, not that I ever doubted it. The two of you are the most important people in the universe.Isn’t that how she cast the last curse? The heart of the one she loved the most. Of course it wouldn’t be her daughter. Splitting her heart in two, I suppose she risked the life of your unborn child on a chance of getting you back. Now why are you here?”

“Doc called us Emma. Please tell me you didn’t do this.” David asked quietly, even desperately, not thinking of the accusation in Emma’s statement. Snow caught it immediately and she felt as if Emma had slapped her again.

“Thats right, I forgot you were his number one knight, correct? You were knighted in Camelot when you were supposed to be helping me. Now I remember. Looks like you failed your king. Apparently the room is sealed with blood magic. I have no idea who could have done that. Hey Snow, why don’t you try to open the door? You do have a history of murder. I’m sure you have a good alibi though. David you can leave. You are no longer a deputy and have no business on a crime scene.”

“Emma please…” Snow started. Emma walked up to her brushing David aside as if he was a fly. She waved her hand over Snow’s yellow and purple, swollen face and it was instantly healed.

“There is the face of the fairest in all the land. Now off with you two. I need to take photos of the crime scene. Let the police do the police stuff I see on CSI all the time.”

“Emma, you don’t…”

Before Regina could finish a small camera materialized in Emma’s hand.

“Not now Regina. This is a special moment. Cruella wasn’t much fun. This is my first official premeditated murder and I want memories for my scrap book when I move to Arendelle.”

Snow White and David disappeared in a cloud of smoke while Regina and Elsa stared, both grim at Emma’s casual confession.

“Emma you murdered this man.” Regina said, not clear if she were speaking to the blonde or herself. Elsa said nothing, her eyes looking from Emma to the body and back.

“Yep. You going to try to arrest me Madame Mayor?”

Regina realized that while the logical side of her brain knew this was coming, the emotional side hoped that it wasn’t true. Elsa wasn’t even talking, just looking at Emma with concern but not disgust. Of course while Regina was trying to gather her thoughts the young blonde took the opportunity to further her own interests.

“Of course I won’t let her arrest you Emma. I’m sure this man … deserved… but Emma the entire town will know about this and come for you! We have to hide until Anna has a new portal built.” Elsa grabbed Emma’s hand but the older blonde refused to move. Instead she waved her hand, opening the door and walked into the cell to stand over Arthur’s body.

“All the times I saw that damn movie as a kid and never dreamed I would be the one who got to kill the pompous bastard. I guess Disney is right, dreams do come true. Don’t worry about the town Elsa. The case is under investigation. Whoever did this horrible crime is obviously a deranged psychopath and any attempt to apprehend her would place a normal citizen without magic in serious danger. Regina knows this, don’t you Mayor Mills? She covered for her mother when Cora tried to kill old man Rumple. I’m sure she will extend the same hospitality towards me.”

Emma kicked the dead King’s head and walked out of the cell.

“I’ve had a long day Elsa. Why don’t we go back to the room and hang out? I can always track down the people I need to speak with tommorrow. Oh Regina? Would you like me as the Sheriff to go to the Camelot camp and announce the tragic death of their king or should David? I mean he is technically King of this land right? Not to mention a proud knight of the Round Table. Or is that a Mayoral duty? The heirarchy of this place confuses the hell out of me.”

“Emma! This is serious!” Regina hissed, the sound of the blonde’s boot hitting Arthur’s head while his dead eyes stared at the ceiling, snapping her out of the fog she had been in.

“Lighten up Regina. Maybe you don’t remember him and your half sister having you tied to a tree and threatening your life unless I did as he asked. Do you need your memory refreshened?”

“No I don’t Emma, but you cannot just murder people!”

Emma turned toward her with a mischievious grin, reminiscent of one long ago when she first became Sheriff.

“What are you going to do Madame Mayor? Punish me?”

Emma snapped her fingers and the two blondes were gone.

Regina was left staring at the body on the floor, not knowing where to go from here. What would she tell Henry? What effect would this have on Emma? Was there any chance of bringing Emma back now? Had there ever been a chance? Doc rushed in once he was sure Emma was gone.

“What should I do, Regina? I’ve never done an autopsy. Is Emma going to really investigate this? I mean everybody … she is the one who killed him right? She wasn’t joking, was she?”

Regina calmed herself and retreated behind the confines of the Queen she is.

“Take the body to the furnace and burn the bastard, Give his ashes to David. He can give them to those Renfest holdouts in the forest and they can decide what to do with him.”

“And the investigation?”

“Suicide. He hung himself in his cell. Who knows what has happened besides those I already know about?”

“A nurse ran down here when she heard the shots from upstairs. She called me and two other nurses came with me. They have probably talked to a few other nurses. Nurse Ratched doesn’t know anything,almost like she is under a spell.

“Bring them all down quickly. Do not say a word to anyone else about how he was killed or what Emma said. I need to ask them all questions as to what they saw. Anyone who might know anything. Keep this quiet and do it quickly. Do not test me Dwarf.”

“Yes Mayor.” Doc scampered out of the room, rushing away from the horror scene. He had no stomach for dead bodies and was too afraid of Regina even after all this time, to disobey her.

Regina took her phone out and dialed David.

“Regina? Is Emma still there?”

“Listen to me, David. I am about to place a memory spell on quite a few people making them think Arthur was found hanging in his cell, suicide by bedsheets. If anyone asks you say the same and don’t say anything more than that. Make sure Snow keeps her mouth shut. I can contain this but I can’t place a spell on the entire damn town. His body is going to be burned and you are going to take his ashes to his people. Let your Dwarves know that Arthur killed himself and they will spread it around town like wildfire.”

“We are going to cover this up, Regina? Emma … she murdered…”

“David you are her father, now start acting like it. Don’t act like we haven’t killed hundreds before. We have both killed in war and I have killed many, many innocent people than one wretched king and you still allow me in your house. Emma is far less responsible for her actions than I was. I will contain this but I need your help.”

“I understand Regina.”

“I also need you to call Granny and tell her she was mistaken about Arthur being shot. Make it clear to her why she is mistaken. She is loyal to you correct?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Make it happen. I will wipe her mind as well if I need to.This needs to be contained quickly.”

“Regina if Emma keeps this up we won’t be able to contain it.”

“Let me worry about Emma and do as I say. You are going to have to trust me on this David. Do as I say and let me worry about getting through to Emma.”

“I will. Thank you.” Regina fought back a snort. Prince Charming thanking the Evil Queen for covering up a murder committed by his daughter. Her life would be hilarious if it wasn’t so damn tragic.

“One other thing David. I think we have until tommorow so it would be best done tonight. You know Jefferson of course? Snow certainly does.”

“Yes. What about him?”

“Go to him tonight and tell him to hide. Take his daughter and hide for a week or so until I can get a hold of this situation.”

“Why?”

“Because Emma wants a portal and in her present state of mind she is not above doing anything to make him open one, regardless of whether he can or not. Jefferson kidnapped Mary Margaret once and Emma to force Emma to make a portal before the curse broke. Emma’s mentality may be scewed but her memory is not. Hide him David. Do not let Emma get to him no matter what.”

Regina ended the call, hoping David is better at following directions than Snow. She sensed he was. David was many things, some good, a few bad but above all else he was a man of action. Asking him to plan was not a strong point but give him a mission and he will complete it.

Doc ushered in ten nurses and one janitor. Regina gave them all her best politician’s smile.

“If you would all follow me into the break room at the end of the hall, I would like to ask you each some questions.”

She turned without waiting, gathering up her magic. Wiping and replacing the memories of twelve people would take a lot out of her but it was worth it. It would buy her time. Whatever time Regina could buy now was precious. She sensed Emma’s was running out and the Ice Queen was not helping.

Emma and Elsa arrived back in their room after leaving the hospital.

“I know a guy who has a history of portal jumping. I am fairly certain with the right motivation he will do his best to make us one. I will see him in the morning, so long as I can get there before school starts.”

“Emma, my sister has noticed by now that our portal is gone. No doubt she has our wizard working on one as we speak. It took him two days to make the last one. I expect another at anytime. Anna will find us when it is done. There is no need to involve others.” Elsa reasoned, not wanting to think about why Emma would need to visit the man before school. The part of her mind she was desperately trying to supress knew what motivation Emma believed the man to need.

“True but I can’t leave yet Elsa. I still have things to do since our trip was postponed. If I take care of them now, I will never have to come back. This man can make a hat we can use whenever we wish. As long as we leave in private, no one can follow us.” Emma explained and kicked her boots off. Her jeans followed and she slipped under the blankets while Elsa watched. As much as she loved the sight of Emma’s body and bare skin, she wasn’t oblivious to the changes in the older blonde. Emma was tired and agitated despite her calm tone. She was very thin, thinner than Elsa remembered. On the bright side, she had noticed the Savior speaking to anyone who wasn’t there in the short time they had been together. Emma flipped on the TV, ushering Elsa to lay next to her and began explaining some television show. The two stayed quiet for the remainder of the night, inching closer to each other, Elsa eventually wrapping her amrs around and cuddling Emma while laying her head on the older blonde’s chest, who accepted the gesture of love from her sister, a gesture she had not had many of in her life.

Elsa was not having sisterly thoughts and her body tensed the closer she got to Emma. Not wanting to move her arms from around Emma’s waist as they watched the television, she knew it had to be done none the less. Darkness had fallen, Regina must have decided not to interfere tonight and she wanted nothing more to feel Emma’s body under the sheets.

“Emma I need to get ready for bed. We are both tired. I want you to know I am not … put off by what you had to do today. I have had to kill in war since we last saw each other. If you killed him he deserved it.”

“Thank you Elsa. I was a bit worried that you may not want to be around me but I should have known better. Of everyone I have ever met you are the only one who has never hurt me. I love you for that.”

“I will never hurt you, Emma.”

“I know. You are the only family I have. Soon you are going to be Aunt Elsa. My baby is going to have a Queen for an aunt. How weird is that? I guess not to you. Anyway we should get some sleep. Tommorrow is going to be an eventful day. Many interviews for the Storybrooke Sheriff’s Department to conduct.”

Elsa was a bit annoyed by Emma’s description of their relationship but not completely surprised. She knew it was only a matter of time. Despite Emma being hellbent on hurting everyone who had ever hurt her, she annoyingly refused to threaten or even express anger towards Regina. The Queen knew it was because the letter was true, Emma did love the woman, who Elsa admitted was beautiful. It did not matter. All she needed to do was get Emma away from Regina and her fascination with the damn woman would go away.

“Emma you know I hate wearing … to bed I mean…”

“I don’t care if you are naked. Get undressed and get under these sheets. I am exhausted.” Emma told her with a grin, rolling her eyes at the girl’s shyness. 

Emma drifted to sleep immediately while Elsa slid her body close to her, being as casual as possible, gently draping one of her legs over Emma’s. 

Emma did not notice of course.

Emma was in a different world. She woke suddenly, covered in sweat, in an unfamiliar room. It was dark but smelt familiar, decaying wet wood and cat odor. The sheets were rough under her back. At some point she had been undressed and…

Emma tried to move her arms.

Her wrists were tied with rough rope to the headboard. Looking down as best she could, her ankles were tied to the bed as well.

“Hey there little one. I suppose you won’t be kicking me or scratching me tonight. If you even think about biting me I will knock every tooth in your mouth down your throat. Now be a good girl and keep it quiet.”

Emma’s blood turned to ice.

No. Not him. He was the same. He should be older, that was over twenty years ago! He was still bald on top, still overweight, still in boxers and the tank top that was way too small. He still smelled like Old Spice and Whiskey.

Oh God he was over her. The bed frame creaked, the matress dipped and Emma screamed. She kept screaming, but she knew. No one helped her then and no one would help her now.

Elsa had been playing with a strand of Emma’s blonde hair when the Savior sat up in bed and began screaming. Emma’s arms started swinging, once connecting with Elsa’s jaw. She rolled off the bed and watched as Emma continued to scream, her eyes wide open but not seeing. The older blonde jumped off the bed and raced to a corner where she tried to curl up. Emma begged some unseen assailant not to touch her. Elsa tried to shake her, causing Emma to lash out once again, barely missing Elsa’s face. The door to the room opened and Elsa saw the old lady with a crossbow. Without thinking she raised her hand, sealing the doorway with ice, lest Granny get any ideas about firing a projectile near the two.

Elsa grabbed Ema’s hair and ran her hands through it, whispering to her to wake up. Through this all Emma never stopped screaming, nor shaking. Her eyes remained wide open and she begged not to be touched in between screams.

“Damn it Elsa, you know what you have to do! If you love her and want was best for her do the right thing before I do!” Granny yelled from the other side of the ice. Elsa listened as Emma’s voice began to crack and grow hoarse. Having no other option she left Emma’s side and reached for her the blonde’s phone. It was not hard to find the Regina button on the screen.

“What’s wrong Emma?” Regina answered immediately, despite it being 1 AM, Elsa noted.

“I can’t get Emma to stop screaming! I need… I need your help!”

Before Elsa realized no one was on the phone any longer, Regina materialized into the room. Ignoring the naked blonde holding the phone, she crouched down by Emma and used both hands to cup her face gently.

“Emma! It’s me Emma. It’s Regina. You are safe. We keep each other safe right? Thats what we do. Can you hear me? You aren’t there. You are here with me so come back to me.” 

Emma stopped screaming. Her eyes stopped looking at some man no one else could see. Instead they darted around and then locked with Regina’s.

“Regina?”

“Yes, Emma, I am here. We are safe, I swear.”

“He had me tied to the bed, Regina.”

“That was a long time ago. He isn’t here. If he was I would burn him.”

“It’s real.” she whimpered.

“No it isn’t. I’m real. Can you feel me? I am here and I am real. I would never let anyone hurt you. No one will ever tie you up again, I swear.”

“Regina, I’m scared.”

“I know. You can’t stay here anymore, Emma. You are going to come home with me. You are going to stay with me and we are going to fix this. Do you understand?”

“I’ll hurt you. I know I will. Everyone who loves me dies Regina. You have to stay away from me. Elsa doesn’t love me like that. It’s safe for her. I know you love me Regina and that makes you not safe.”

“I won’t die Emma. No one can kill me. No one will take me away from you.”

“Robin.” Emma whispered.

“No, Robin is gone, for good Emma. He won’t take me away from you.”

“Everyone I love dies. I never wanted to love, not after Lilly betrayed me, lied to me. I ran from her and she is still alive. If I run from you then you will be safe.”

“Everyone I have ever loved died as well Emma. But you are still here and I am still here. Thats because together we are stronger right? Who can hurt us Emma? If we are together who can hurt us?”

“No one.” Emma told her, the blonde’s voice getting stronger. “But I still have business to take care of Regina. I have to make sure no one can hurt you. Don’t trust Snow, Regina. Don’t trust any of them. Only Elsa and I are safe to trust. Promise me.”

“Emma, we can talk…”

“Promise me!”

“I promise. I won’t trust anyone but you, but you are not hurting anyone else until we can talk. Do you understand? You are coming to my home now. It’s going to be our home now. I’m going to take care of you”

“Henry’s there.” Emma remembered. “I can’t be around him. I’ve destroyed him.”

“He is stronger than both of us and far from destroyed. He loves you regardless, as do I. I am going to pack your clothes for you and then we are leaving here.” Regina told her.

“No! Elsa! Elsa where are you?”

“I’m here Emma.” Elsa knelt down next to Regina, tears in her eyes at what Emma must have seen and thought to be real. She was furious with herself that it was Regina that Emma was able to respond to. A part of her wondered if touching Emma while they slept had triggered this.

“I can’t leave Elsa, Regina. I have to take care of her. She is my family and I have to take care of her and my baby.”

The longing in Emma’s voice, the desperation, irked Regina but she knew that it was also a good sign. Emma was thinking about more than just herself right now. She was thinking of Henry, Regina’s safety and Elsa’s wellbeing. These were all good things, even if Elsa was included. When Elsa had called, Regina had been in her office reading everything she could find online about schizophrenia and not feeling better about what she was finding.

“Elsa can come too of course, Emma. You know I have many bedrooms. It will be fine. Now you are awake so you can watch me. I’m not leaving but I need to get your things. You aren’t coming back here, you are coming home and Elsa can pack her things. Just stay sitting and I will be done in a flash, okay?”

Emma nodded her head, eyes never leaving the fomer Queen. Regina motioned for Elsa to join her in the corner oppostie of Emma. When the blonde hesitantly reached her the Mayor whispered in her ear.

“Get rid of this ice so Granny can come in. You can come to my house but no more games Elsa. She needs help you can’t give. Stay if you want, but stay out of my way. Do not try to seduce Emma and do not enable her. You will sleep in your own damn room. Emma will be in mine and I will be in a chair watching her at night not in bed with her. You will watch her during the day and wake me the minute she acts strangely. Is all this getting through to you dear?”

“Yes.” Elsa whispered. “I’m sorry Regina. I’ll do anything to help her. I won’t try to take her to Arendelle until she can make a decision when she is… more herself. Whatever you want me to do, if you can truly help her I will do.”

Regina narrowed her eyes.

“What I want you to do is pack. But first put on some fucking clothes.”


	13. Family bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma agrees to get help, a meeting changes the power dynamics of Storybrooke and Emma, Snow and David spend quality time together.

Do not own OUAT. I apologize for any spelling mistakes. I’ve been up all night and am half asleeptrying to edit this but not doing a very good job. As always leave a comment if you like the story or if you think I could do something better. I am always looking for a beta also, as this is my first time writing in this fandom. Okay, here it is.

Chapter 13

Regina sat in the corner of her room, curled up in a lounge chair, watching Emma sleep. She was exhausted after transporting the three of them to her home, debating making Elsa sleep on the front porch then giving her half hearted directions to a guest bedroom, and magically fixing the hole in her bedroom wall. Regina had sat on the bed with a trembling, mumbling blonde until Emma finally passed out from exhaustion, before moving to the corner lounge chair. She briefly debated enchanting the house but decided against it. The mayor had to stay up tonight and hope that Elsa had enough common sense to wake her if Emma tried to leave during the day. However attempting to keep Emma here by magic would most likely just anger her and the former Queen had doubts on whether her magic was strong enough to hold Emma regardless. It would be best to try to reason with her. 

Regina just had to make sure Emma made it through tonight without any further nightmares or visits from hallucinations. When the sun rose Regina would summon Elsa, hoping the amateur nudist had some bit of sense in her to watch the Savior while Regina caught a few hours of sleep. It was 4 AM, when Regina could no longer stare at Emma to keep herself awake. She grabbed her laptop, put on her reading glasses and began researching places to get Emma help. She needed to find a doctor somewhere in this state that specialized in Schizophrenia treatment for pregnant women and throw money at the man or woman until a treatment for Emma could be found. She would take her there herself and they would not leave until this was under some sort of control. No more trusting Victor Frankenstein and his electroshock treatment or Dwarf doctors or pharmacists. While the Dwarves were not bad and loyal to David and Snow she did not want anymore rumors than were already floating around started about what may or may not be happening with Emma and Storybrooke despite its growing population was still a small town at heart. People talked and Emma did not need that. 

There was also the concern that if Emma killed again and Regina could not cover it up the town may try to rise against the blonde. In that event, Regina would defend the both of them by any means necessary, including murder and giving Emma free reign to do as she wished. Regina had changed and did not want the citizens to be harmed but her first priorities were Henry, Emma and Emma’s baby. The rest could burn if they were foolish enough to try anything. She sighed, hoping it wouldn’t come to that. 

Regina began researching doctors and clinics until the sun began peaking through the window. The next time the former Queen was aware, she opened her eyes and recognized she was in her own bed.

Sitting up quickly, fearing she had lost Emma again, Regina was surprised to see the blonde sitting next to her and smiling.

“Good morning.” Emma greeted her quietly.

“I thought you had left.” the mayor admitted.

“You didn’t look comfortable curled up in that hard chair so I magicked you here. I hope you don’t mind.”

Regina lay back on the comfortable matresses and breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Thank you for not leaving.” she told Emma.

“Thank you for not using magic to try to make me stay. I was a bit concerned when I woke up and saw I was here. Elsa is asleep in the guest bedroom. I checked. How did I get here?”

“You don’t remember?”

“I remember falling asleep with Elsa next to me and then…” Emma stopped and scrunched her forehead. “Didn’t I blow a hole in the wall of this room?”

“I fixed it.” Regina told her. “You had a nightmare last night and Elsa could not get you to calm down. She called me and I talked to you. You agreed to come with me. You said you would stay here with me now.”

“I don’t think thats a good idea Regina. What would people say?” the blonde asked, a hint of playfulness in her voice.

“The days of me giving a damn what peasants have to say has long passed. I can help you and you know it, Emma. I am not trying to keep you prisoner, I am not trying to take your baby. I will kill anyone who tries, but you have to let me in.”

“Its dangerous for you Regina.” Emma argued halfheartedly.

“Its dangerous for you and the baby without me. You may not think you need me but I need you. I need the woman who is selfless and brave and has always been there for me, not matter how much of a bitch I have been. How many times have you refused to let me walk away Emma? How many times have I tried to push you away and yet you still shoved back at me? I won’t abandon you now. I refuse.” Regina told her.

“Regina, you know what I have to do.”

“Yes I do. I want Rumple dead as well. But before you make any decisions on killing anyone would you please let me get you help, to stop these visions, to stop the voices and then think through this rationally?” the brunette asked, trying not to beg but prepared to if it was required. It seemed with this woman, pride would not keep her from doing what must be done even if it was begging.

Emma laid back on the matress with her hands behind her head. Regina noted that she had not changed from her nightshirt so had most likely not been planning a hasty retreat.

“You want me to stay here?” she finally asked.

“Yes.”

“You don’t owe me anything.”

“I don’t agree but whether I do or do not has no bearing on why I want you to stay.”

Emma did not speak for a minute, staring at the ceiling.

“I love you.” she finally said. “That’s dangerous.”

“I can handle danger. I am no stranger to it.”

“Do you love me? really love me? Because Hook loved who he thought I was. He thought I was his salvation. He never knew the real me Regina. He never would have loved me like this. When I was the Dark One he was obsessed with getting the curse out of me because he didn’t love me like I was. He loved his White Knight, his Savior. But you, you have seen me at my worst. Do you really love me?”

“I do.” Regina answered without hesistation. “However this is not the time for declarations of love. I am not trying to sleep with you, nor would I, not now, not until you get some help and can make decisions on your own. You need time to work on yourself and that is what I will give you. You don’t need romance now Emma. I don’t need romance. What I need for you is for once in my life to let me be the one to save you.”

“And if I get this help and still decide I want revenge?”

Regina closed her eyes and told Emma the truth.

“Then I will stay by your side while you do what needs to be done. You have given up your soul for me before. Don’t make the mistake of thinking I won’t do it for you as well. I will follow you to Hell Emma. I mean that.”

Emma rolled to her side to face the mayor.

“You would really do that?” she asked doubtfully.

“Yes. I wouldn’t like it, not because I care about the people you would hurt more than you, but because I worry what it will do to you. I went down that road and to be honest if not for you, and your encouragement to Henry to have me back in his life that path would have destroyed me. But you two will always come first for me. Three now I suppose.”

“Even if I want to kill Snow White and Prince Charming?” Emma challenged.

“I stand by what I said but I am not worried. You don’t want to kill them Emma. You would have done it already. You want them to hurt and to suffer and I have felt that way in the past as well but if you truly wanted them dead they would be. I could have killed Snow a thousand times in the Enchanted Forest and nearly did but something held me back. When you changed the timeline and saw me fireball Snow as she was tied to the stake, I never told anyone this, but I knew she had the fairy dust on her. I knew she would escape. I had hoped she would take the opportunity to run, with me thinking her dead but she didn’t. Stubborn women have confounded me all my life.”

“You are right, I don’t want them dead.” Emma told her, surprising Regina. “I would never leave a child an orphan. But don’t get to excited. I have something much worse in mind for the Charmings.”

“Emma…” Regina stopped. Talking about this right now would lead to a fight and Regina needed Emma calm as she was now. Instead she continued to ask her for reassurances. “Please stay here. Stay with me. Your so called sister can stay as well but I need you here. I want to know you are safe, that you won’t have a waking nightmare than no one can bring you out of. Just please stay.”

Emma frowned at Regina. “Why do you call Elsa my so called sister? She is my sister. She …”

“Emma, sisters do not crawl into bed nude with their other sister. I know somewhere…”

“Are you jealous?” Emma asked, holding back a laugh.

Regina’s cheeks turned red. “I am not jealous of her, I am angry at her attempts to seduce you, to thwart any plans to help you by taking you away from me. She admitted to me that she wants you. I just want you to be better and make informed choices for yourself when you are in the right state of mind. You are having memory problems correct?”

The blonde was unable to hide her surprise. “How did you know that? I mean they aren’t bad, it just seems like I have a lot I want to do and my plans get jumbled, sometimes I forget things that should be easy but I have a lot on my mind. I am pretty sure I planned to take Jefferson and his daughter and use her to force him into making a hat. I think that was the plan but I’m not sure now. I can’t really remember okay? Maybe my memory hasn’t been great lately but I have taken quite a few punches to the skull over the course of my life.”

“Its a symptom of Schizophrenia. It won’t go away without treatment. Do you really want to forget about your baby in a store or your car? Forget to feed her? Forget her name at times? Do you really want to spend your days talking to those that hurt you, arguing with people who are products of your mind and not even there, instead of playing with your baby? Do you think your child wants a mother who can’t take her to the park because she is exhausted, unable to sleep at night? Do you want your daughter to panic the way Elsa panicked last night?”

“Of course not.” Emma whispered.

“Then stay with me. Don’t kill anyone and let me find us a place where you can get help. It has to be outside of Storybrooke, the pregnancy aspect makes this a bit more difficult but I found a doctor who specializes with this sort of thing.I was researching physicians when I fell asleep.”

Emma stared at Regina for a long moment and then looked over Regina’s shoulder. Her face narrowed at the sight of Killian standing next to the bed on Regina’s side, scowling at her.

“Who is it?” the brunette asked, already knowing the look on Emma’s face.

“Hook. I don’t think he likes us being on the same bed.”

“He can get over it. What is it going to be, Emma?”

Emma took a moment to ponder Regina’s offer. Instead of answering she asked another question.

“When you thought you were all going to die, I asked you to come to Granny’s with me. Why did you refuse me for him?”

Regina closed her eyes and remembered the look on Emma’s face when she told the Dark One no.

“Because I wanted to protect that child from Zelena. Even if I wouldn’t be here I wanted to know she was safe.”

“And you will protect my baby the same as if she were your own?” Emma asked, slightly mollified but not forgetting the hurt the rejection had given her at one of the worst moments of her life.

“Yes.”

“Okay. Elsa has to stay with us for now since you destroyed her … you did destroy the portal right? That happened?”

“Yes Emma, it did. Elsa can stay with you during the day while I sleep and I will stay up with you at night.”

“I don’t need 24 hour watch Regina.” Emma told her, rolling her eyes.

“If you have another nightmare like last night you need someone to bring you back. You could have hurt Elsa and yourself last night. It isn’t safe for your baby. That’s what matter right?”

Emma nodded, the memory of the nightmare slowly returning to her and chilling her to the bone.

“I will stay and see these doctors but I won’t go to therapy, I won’t be locked up and I won’t be …”

“Won’t be what Emma?”

“I don’t know. I forgot what I was going to say. It doesn’t matter. So long as you understand the first two.”

“I do.”

“Okay. Lets get some sleep. I really am exhausted and if you could promise to wake me up if he tries to touch me again or ties me up that would be great.”

The former evil Queen’s heart broke at hearing that, but she nodded and watched Emma close her eyes. Within minutes the blonde was softly snoring. Regina wanted to sleep as well but first something had to be done. She slowly rolled over and retrieved her phone from the nightstand. Sending a text to Snow, she figured this could be done at 6, giving her a few hours sleep and then be back by 8 to take over for the tramp. Regina swore to herself if she found that whore naked around Emma once more she would kill the bitch.

Regina closed her eyes and relaxed. She was still exhausted and slept once again, feeling better that Emma seemed to agree to her plan. For the first time since the fire, Emma did not appear to be playing games. Regina hoped it stayed that way.

At 4 PM the former Queen woke groggily and reluctantly but did leave the bed to shower, pleased that Emma was still asleep and had not suffered any nightmares so far. After the quick shower, she prepared her long hair, glad that she had decided to let it grow. Regina never admitted this to anyone but once in Granny’s Diner, Emma had made a passing comment about her Majesty’s hair, complimenting the length. She had worn it down and let it grow from that point on. After drying her hair and applying her makeup she walked into the bedroom to see Emma sitting up on the bed, rubbing her eyes.

“You look great. Where are you going? Big date?” she joked but there was an edge to her tone.

“I have a meeting at Town Hall. It shouldn’t take long. Why don’t you continue to rest or entertain Elsa and I can bring dinner back for us?”

“I want to go to the meeting. I mean I am Sheriff.”

Regina visibly deflated.

“Do you remember the talk we had this morning?”

“Yes?” Emma asked.

“The one about you staying here and working with me so you can get better for the baby and yourself?”

“Oh yeah. I definetly remember that one.” she agreed, relieving a bit of Emma’s anxiety.

“How do you think you are going to be Sheriff if you are being treated? We have missed a lot of time from our respective jobs lately. Besides how do you plan to protect your baby to the best of your ability if you are placing yourself in danger, like a Sheriff constantly is?”

“I will be damned if I let David take my job from me Regina! I need my job!”

“Why? You don’t need the money. I have money, you have money, we have all the money we could ever need. Isn’t it in Nimue’s best interest that you stay as safe as possible?” Regina asked in a very calm tone. The usual tone she used with Emma when she was being unreasonable may have set her off. She had thought of these arguments ahead of time and hoped the conversation would go as planned.

“Its not about the money! I won’t let that bastard take what is mine! The Sheppard thinks he is a fucking king and giving him any position of authority just strengthens that belief!”

“What if I told you that I guarantee he will not run for Sheriff?”

Emma’s face turned from rage to confusion.

“Why wouldn’t he?”

“Because as Mayor, I am appointing Prince Thomas as Sheriff of Storybrooke until an election can be held. David will not to run, you have my word. He does not want to anger you Emma. I spoke to him about staying away from the Sheriff’s Department because I knew you would react this way and he agreed. I want you happy and safe. Isn’t that what is important?”

“She is right Emma.” Elsa said walking into the room.

“Elsa?”

“Emma you don’t need the job and it is putting your baby at risk. Do you really want to lose the baby because some drunkard strikes you while you are putting him into your Squad Carriage?’

“Squad car Elsa, but thank you for the support.” Regina told her, doing her best to hide her irritation at the blonde’s intrusion in her and Emma’s conversation. At least she was helping, making Regina feel better about leaving Elsa alone with Emma.

“If… if I can’t be Sheriff because of this damn treatment or whatever, and you are going to be with me, why do you get to stay as mayor?”

“I’m not. Like I said, we haven’t been around much lately. Katherine has been the interim Mayor in my recent absences. Tonight, after appointing Sean as Sheriff I will be resigning as Mayor. Katherine will fill the role until an election is held, the same day as the Sheriff’s election. We don’t need this anymore Emma. We have more important things to consider, don’t we?”

Emma looked at the floor and moved back to the bed, lying down. 

“Fine.” she agreed dejectedly. “I never liked the job anyway. It was just an easy excuse to save your ass all the time.”

Regina and Elsa both laughed, relieved to see that Emma’s old humor was still there. Perhaps tonght would be a good night.

Perhaps Regina should have not been as optimistic.

She arrived to a packed Town Hall. Snow White certainly knew how to get word out to the citizens. To her chagrin she also recognized a few horses tied up front, no doubt belonging to the good people of Camelot.

Taking a deep breath she made her way to the back of the building, using her skeleton key to enter and avoid walking through the crowd. Katherine and Snow were speaking in her office when she arrived.

“Regina! Where is Emma?” Snow practically cried.

“At my house, with Elsa. I certainly wasn’t going to bring her here.”

“Elsa? She won’t … I mean, she won’t try to take her, will she?”

Regina wanted to laugh but couldn’t. Normally she would say there was no way Elsa could take Emma but she didn’t know what could happen. Everything, especially Emma, was too unpredictable at this moment.

“Elsa wouldn’t dare and Emma has been having a good day. I can’t rely on luck however. She has agreed to visit a clinic I found that specializes in pregnancy involving mental health issues. I will be driving her there tommorrow if I can set up an appointment in the morning. The clinic is in Bangor so it shouldn’t take long. An added bonus is Emma will not have magic there. At least I hope not.” Regina finished, remembering the headlights of her car bursting when Emma stepped onto the highway to confront Lilly, what seemed like so long ago. Of course it was less than a year ago but it felt longer.

“That … Regina are you sure that is a good idea?” Snow asked, surprising the former Queen.

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Emma wasn’t exactly less dangerous without magic. She could feel vunerable and lash out physically. At least in Storybrooke you can keep her safe and contained with magic. Out there, she may not have magic but neither would you and if Emma wanted to …” Snow stopped seeing the look on the Mayor’s face.

“What could Emma do if she wanted to Snow?” Regina asked, eyebrow raised.

“I think what Snow is saying is that Emma could kick your ass out there. Not to say you aren’t fearsome Regina but you aren’t exactly as physically strong as Emma. Plus Emma has many years of fighting behind her.” Katherine clarified.

“Emma would not hurt me. She has had many opportunities. I fell asleep before she woke and she used magic to lay me in my bed. Does that sound like the action of a woman who planned to beat me to death?”

“No of course not!” Snow said quickly, “Granny may have mentioned that Emma had a bad night and you had to come get her?”

“I didn’t have to do anything. I wanted to. I told you I will take care of her Snow and I will. Emma was lucid and responding to reason today. She was not speaking to anyone who was not there.” with the exception of seeing Killiam, “She is having memory problems though. She has so many things she feels she needs to do and they are getting jumbled in her head.”

This is probablya good thing, Regina reflected. Emma wanted to find Jefferson, wanted to kill Gold, wanted to get help, wanted to take care of her child and was hellbent on some sort of revenge on Snow and David that did not involve their deaths. While most of these plans were bad a couple were positive and as long as Emma was indecisive, it wasn’t likely she would act on any of them. At least that was the hope Regina held on to. Emma did however take about ten seconds to decide to shoot Arthur and watch him bleed to death.

“Let’s just get this meeting started. It appears it is a packed house.”

“Henry is here.” Snow told her, hoping that may calm her nerves down a bit before adressing all of Storybrooke. Snow wasn’t told exactly what this meeting about and Regina had shown up before Katherine could let her in on the conversation her and Regina had thirty minutes before she arrived. Henry wanted to come and Snow did not see a problem with this.

“Henry is supposed to stay at your home until I gave the okay for him to see Emma!” Regina hissed.

“He is staying with us! He wanted to come. If Emma wants to see him none of us can stop her whether he is here or at home. Plus Emma isn’t here, right Regina?” Snow defended herself. The Mayor admitted this was true to herself but this meeting had to many unknown variables an with the rumor mill swirling, who knew what the rabble would say about Emma with him present? He had been traumatized more than enough. Taking a deep breath she dropped her head and walked out onto the platform, standing at the podium.To her relief all talk died down. To her concern it died immediately when everyone saw her. Many, Regina noted regretfully, still looked at her in fear. She did not want that to be the way everyone looked at Emma but it may have been too late.

“Thank you for your attention and your presence tonight on short notice. I have a two announcements to make and we will be done.” Regina said shortly, not even bothering to show her patented politician smile, realizing how tired she truly was. In a moment of panic she could not remember if she had even put on makeup.

No, she had. 

Clearing her throat to adress the still silent room, the Mayor began.

The first item of business, many of you know Prince Thomas, or know him as Sean Herman. I spoke to Sheriff Swan today who has indicated to me verbally that she is stepping down as Sheriff of Storybrooke. Prince Thomas has been appointed interim Sheriff for the next three months, beginning immediately. In three months, open elections will be held, coordinated by the Mayor’s office. If you are interested in running there will be forms that need to be filled out at Town Hall.”

A chorus of hands rose and voices started talking over each other.

“I will not be taking any questions at this time.” Regina said firmly into the microphone in a no nonsense voice that quieted down the citizens immediately and caused hands to drop. She took in the first row and her heart hurt to see Henry’s eyes glimmering with unshed tears. Emma had always been his hero. The Savior, the Sheriff, the White Knight, defender of the realm. He loved Regina with all his heart, she knew this, but Emma was… Emma. The idea of her no longer being Sheriff must be a reality check as to his other mother’s troubles.

“The second item of business is the position of Mayor. As many of you realize I have been out of the office quite a bit lately.”

Despite not meaning it as a joke, a few chuckles were heard in the audience. Regina ignored them.

“In my absence, Princess Katherine has been doing an admirable job of managing the town’s affairs. While I realize the reason Storybrooke exists is because of my curse, I will say I have enjoyed leading the Town and being your Mayor. I appreciate the support I have received over the years since the curse broke and especially those who have allowed me to move on despite my past and helped me to become the person I am today. That said, I believe the time has come in my life to focus on family. So effective immediately, I am resigning as Mayor of Storybrooke. Princess Katherine has agreed to continue being Interim Mayor for the next three months and organize an election to be held at the same time as the Sheriff’s election.”

The hall was completely silent, unlike the announcement that Emma Swan was no longer Sheriff. The idea of Regina Mills giving up power was unfathomable to those who were not as aware of the changes she had made in her life as intimately as her friends did.

Regina took a deep breath and gave a small smile to Henry before stepping away from the podium. Before she had taken two steps the audience exploded with questions.

“Is it true that the Savior is still the Dark One?

“Is it true she and Elsa have been attacking citizens?”

“If Elsa is back does that mean there is going to be a wall of ice along the border now?”

“Is the whole population of Arendelle coming to Storybrooke? With all of Camelot here this town is getting pretty crowded. Are they going home any time soon?”

“Is it true that Emma Swan has gone nuts?”

“I heard she has gone crazy as a loon. Are we in danger from her?”

“Shut up!” Regina screamed back into the microphone. “I would remind each and everyone of you that Emma Swan has saved this town and its citizens many, many times. If not for Emma Swan this town would have been destroyed when the trigger was set off. If not for her we would all be living in the false life the Author placed us in. She saved us all from the Snow Queen! She has always put the interest of Storybrooke ahead of herself and has nearly sacrificed her life for each and everyone of you time and time again. For that she has received nothing! We keep asking and asking, and what have we given her? Nothing! If anyone has anything to say about Emma Swan you may address me with your concerns, mayor or not!”

Regina nearly snapped when she felt a hand on her shoulder, only relaxing when David whispered in her ear.

“Calm down. You are scaring people, including Henry. You may want to douse the fireball in your hand.”

Regina looked at her palm and recognized it was indeed on fire. 

Putting out the fireball, she looked at a very scared crowd. Only one was not scared and stepped into the walkway between rows.

“I am Sir Percival of Camelot. Since it was Emma Swan’s curse that brought us to this land, what is being done about returning us home? I believe we have a right to know.”

Regina was on her last nerve, despite David’s calm warning.

“Actually it was Killian Jones curse that brought all of you to this land. If you would like, I can arrange a face to face meeting with him.”

The Camelot crowd began to murmur and a few stood up until the doors burst open. No one said a word for a moment, waiting to see what force had flung the doors wide open so suddenly.

Emma Swan walked inside wearing a black dress, cut low on top, flared out at the shoulders belnding into a cape and form fitting all the way to her high heeled stilletos. Her blonde hair was in a pony tail, high on top and draping down her neck.

“Sorry I’m late.” 

Regina froze as did everyone else in the room, watching the Savior walk toward the front of of the hall towards Regina and a very wide eyed David and Snow, dressed in the same outfit Regina had worn on their wedding day.

“Due to a recent fire, my wardrobe is no more. Regina, I hope you don’t mind that I stopped by your vault and borrowed one of your dresses.”

“Emma, perhaps we can go outside and talk.” Regina suggested with a smile that hid the absolute terror she felt, not for herself but for the hundreds who had packed into this hall.

“I believe some people had questions, Regina. I need to answer them. Lancelot!”

The room went quiet, but Lancelot did move from his seat and walked up to the woman, whose very appearance struck fear into the crowd. To those who didn’t know before tonight, the hero of the realm was not feeling very heroic. 

“What can I do for you Emma?” Lancelot asked, mere feet from the woman. Despite her appearance and the conversation the two had the day before, Lancelot was not afraid. 

Emma’s hand suddenly held a potion jar. She handed the jar to Lancelot.

“I remembered how Merlin broke the spell he cast on the two losers next to my Queen. It was simple for him so obviously it would be simple for me. I had just forgotten.”

Merlin appeared next to Lancelot, smirking.

“Simple is defintely one way to describe you. You are not as powerful as you believe you are.” the wizard told her.

“No, I am most likely more powerful.” she told him, causing all to wonder who she was adressing. Emma ignored Merlin and focused on Lancelot.

“A powder is in that container that when blown in the wind will reverse the effect of Arthur’s spell. You can have your Guinivere back. As far as going home, my friend Elsa’s sister is working on a portal to allow her back to Arendelle. You can reach Camelot through Arendelle. It may be a bit of a journey but that isn’t really my problem. I do hope you brave knights can resist attempting to rape and pillage across the lands as your former King was so fond of doing.”

“I see. And when will this …”

“When it is ready Lancelot. That will fulfill our bargain. As for the rest of you people from Camelot, you should know what awaits you. Your King is dead, Excalibur has been destroyed and Merlin is dead. Have fun with that. Also without Arthur’s magic fairy dust he obtained from his wife, who in turn got it from the biggest evil bastard I have ever laid eyes on, and that is saying something, your kingdom will return to being the broken slum it was before. If any of you have any ideas about staying here and enjoying things like electricity, once the portal is open, you will have one day to leave before I start discouraging those who want to stay. Anymore damn questions about your fucking so called kingdom?”

Judging by the silence, no one had any questions, so Emma continued to look at the crowd.

“Hi Blue. I notice Marco and August are nowhere around. I will be seeing all three of you soon. Trust me, you are going to wish you had stayed in that fucking hat.” 

Emma did not flinch when Regina laid a hand on her adorned shoulder.

“Please let’s go home Emma. I want to go home.” the former Mayor whispered in her ear. A saddened look crossed Emma’s face. She hated to disappoint Regina. 

But some things had to be taken care of first.

“I’ll be home in a couple hours. Elsa is probably frantic looking for me. Snow and David.” Emma called out to her parents. Both stood on the stage, not breaking eye contact with their daughter.

“Wait a minute, sister!”

With a wave of her hand, not even spraing him a look, Leroy was thrown back into Astra before he had a chance to take two steps.

“Emma what are you going to do?” Regina asked, slipping her hand to Emma’s waist, hoping to hold her there or at least teleport with her, wherever she planned to go. The crowd did nto miss the asy and almost intimate interaction of the two. Emma broke her gaze at Snow and Charming and gave Regina a smile that sent chills down her spine, not an easy feet for a former evil queen.

“What do you think Regina? I am going to destroy their happiness, if it is the last thing I do.”

With a flash of light, opposed to the usual smoke Emma vanished in, she was gone.

So were Snow and David.

Panic ran through the crowd, most of them running out of the hall, tripping over each other to get out the front door. Regina, pulled her phone, preparing to call … she had no idea who to call. Instead she noticed a text message from Emma’s phone. She supposd Elsa had learned the art of texting.

/Emma disapeared! She was in shower. I checked after she had been there for an hour and she is not here. I do not know where she is. Please help./

Regina took a deep breath and prepared to leave the nearly empty hall. But where to go? Where would Emma take them? 

She would take them to their loft. It was where Mary Margaret lived with Emma before, according to Emma, Snow White killed her friend.

“Mom?” Henry’s small voice called her. Regina would not meet his eyes. She couldn’t right now.

“She was wearing one of your old dresses.” he told her.

“Yes she was.”

“If she was in your vault, could she have taken the dagger? That is where you are keeping it right?”

Once again despite the circumstances, Regina was amazed at his intuitiveness.

“She can’t get past the barrier.”

“Yes she can and you know it.” he stressed. “You have to stop her. She may not know it but she will regret killing Gramma and Gramps one day when she is better, right?”

Regina did not know if even a sane Emma Swan would regret that action. Still Emma would not kill them.

She would do something worse.

“I have to go Henry. Go to Granny’s and stay there until I come get you.”

While Regina was talking to her son, Emma sat at the dinner table in the loft with Snow and Charming on the other side. Both were looking at her in complete fear, despite their love for their only daughter and first born. 

“So where is my baby brother, Neal? I havne’t really had a chance to bond with him lately. I promise I won’t boil his milk bottle this time, Snow.”

“He is with a babysitter.” Snow answered.

“Who is good enough to babysit the little prince?” she asked.

Neither said a word. Emma quietly laughed to herself. “He is with Cinderella. Who else would be fit to watch royalty than another Princess? You are so predictable Snow. Hiding my brother? You really don’t trust me, do you? Finally you show some common sense.”

“Emma whatever you want to do, please do it to me. Please leave your mother and brother out of this. Kill me if you have to, I will still love you, but don’t harm them. Don’t leave Neal without a mother.” David begged.

“I can’t kill you David. You two share a heart. How fucking romantic. I kill you she dies and vice versa right?” Besides I haven’t come to kill you. I’m not a murderer.”

Neither commented on the fact that Emma was indeed a murderer.

“I actually wanted to spend some family bonding time.”

Three dream catchers appeared on the table, one in front of each of them.

“You have told me before that you regret not seeing me grow up, not being there for my first step, my first dance, my first blah, blah, blah. Anyway I have prepared a little gift for both of you. I am going to give you every memory of my childhood all the way to Henry’s birth. It will be like you have lived my life. You are going to see everything. Now please place the dream catcher in front of your face and let’s begin. I’m going to show Mommy and Daddy my childhood memories and you will never be able to forget them.”


	14. Memories

I do not own OUAT.

Chapter 14

Snow White and Prince James (Charming to Snow White) had always been considered the heroes of the Enchanted Forest. The two had fought all odds to be together, They had run to be together, They had fought to stay together. They had broken curses, waged war against a supposedly invincible evil Queen and her heartless army. No one had suffered more or fought harder for their people than the golden duo of the realm. Beloved by all, heroes to the core.

But at this moment Prince Charming and Snow White were not together and they were not heroes. Instead they were sitting at their kitchen table while they lived in the mind of their daughter. She was the Savior, the golden haired princess who would one day break the Evil Queen’s curse. The one who had defended Storybrooke from curses, villians, all manner of evil. She was the personification of hope, the love the two had for each other, a product of true love and the powerful wielder of light magic ever born.

Both were trapped in hell.

David watched through very small eyes, as he was dropped off at the foster home, told that he would be given a new home now. The Swans were having their own child. He clutched at his baby blanket, embroidered with the name Emma, his only possession on Earth. He was young, not able to remember exactly his age, but knowing deep in his soul that he had been replaced.

Snow watched through slightly older eyes, not much older, and felt the slap. The strike across her cheek for reaching for a cookie she had not asked for. She felt the burn, felt the tears, felt the fear that consumed her. She listened as she was told she was worthless, nothing, a burden who should be glad she was given a bed.

Snow felt the darkness of the closet, heard the man yelling for her in anger, threatening her with a belt if she didn’t come out now. He found her and Snow felt herself dragged across the carpet, not bothering to cry, knowing it would do no good. Snow could smell the alcohol on the man’s breath. She saw his wife, black eye and red marks around her throat. She felt the belt as it bit into her over and over again, until she pretended to pass out just to make it stop.

David felt the man enter his room, felt himself pretending to be asleep. Felt the weight on the back of his small frame. Felt the penetration and screamed. He saw and felt it happen again. He lay in the hospital bed and could feel his swollen eyes.

Sow screamed. She screamed every time the new foster father took her, until he struck her in the mouth. She tasted the blood. She felt the blows by another. Her head felt like it would explode and all she wanted to do was die.

David felt a foster brother pull his hair hard enough to cause a strip to fall out. He felt himself pushed off the top of the slide, he felt his arm break. He lay there for what seemd like days but was hours waiting for someone to come out to her. He was in the hospital again, both eyes swollen and his throat hurt. He also hurt down there. He burned.

Snow asked how her parents died. The nice case worker explained that her parents didn’t die. They abandoned her on the side of a road minutes after she had been born.

Both saw Lilly and both felt how she felt when they held her close. Both felt the devastation when they realized Lilly was just like everyone else, a liar.

Both felt the cold, the smell of trash, the screams of lunatics and knew they were living on the streets. They were old enough to hide now. At least until a cop picked them up after being beaten in an alley, near death.

Snow felt another rape, a vicious one, she felt the bites, the slaps, the rope on her wrists and legs holding her down. She had never felt so helpless in her life. She had grown but it did not matter. 

David felt another rape, this time remembering that he didn’t care anymore and thankful at least that this man had put her on birth control. She wasn’t worth the trouble a kid would bring.

A teacher yelled at Snow for thirty minutes after school, telling her how stupid she was, how worthless. Snow wanted to tell the teacher she fell asleep because her foster father kept her up all night, she had taken pain killers stolen from her foster mother, to help with the pain, to make her forget.

Neither Snow nor David could forget.

Both saw themselves living on the street again. This time a lunatic did catch them. They were beaten and their jeans were stolen. It was so cold outside, neither had any choice but to go to the women’s shelter where police would defintely be called and they would be taken back to a group home for troubled children.

Snow felt the joy at finding a family that was nice to her, until Lilly arrived back in her life and ruined everything. 

Both felt the happiness when Ingrid had taken them in, showing them the first love they had ever truly felt, until Ingrid pushed them into the path of a car and both ran, the feeling of betrayal probably the worst either had ever felt.

David remembered sitting in another alley, using the money he had pick pocketed to buy pain killer and a bottle of cheap whiskey. He took them all, praying for death. He woke in the same alley the next day, devastated to still be alive.

Snow remembered the people she saw who may or may not have been there. They would go away. Everyone went away.

Beating after beating, raped on the street, sneaking close to a trash can on fire, trying to get warm and hoping not to draw attention. 

Another house, this one not bad. No brothers or sisters to steal what was hers, not that she had much. Snow still held onto her blanket, whether in a home or on the street, it was hers. 

David remembered the women he clung to for comfort. They used him and left but at least he wasn’t tied up. It was mutual and he knew they would leave, they always did.

Snow and David remembered stealing to survive, stealing whatever they could get their hands on, candy, money, cars when possible. 

They remembered meeting Neal. They remembered the fear they felt being close to a man. 

They remembered feeling loved for the first time since Ingrid. Snow gave herself to him over and over in the backseat of the car because why not? He was gentle, he didn’t bite or tie her up. He told them they were worth something. It was just sex. Sex meant nothing to them. 

They both felt the fear when the police arrived, the feel of the handcuffs, the fear of being confined, trapped, in someone else’s power once again. Neal had betrayed them. Both felt this deeply, the one person they thought would not leave them. David listened to the attorney explain that he had to plead guilty, he had no other choice. He never had a choice. Choices were for other people.

Snow felt the utter devastation when she found out she was pregnant. She felt every blow her cell mate had given her, the nights of hunger because her food had been stolen, the fear everytime she stepped in the yard. 

She felt Henry kicking inside her, giving her hope.

She remembered the night she realized she could not keep her baby and swore to herself that she would end it all as soon as she had the baby and was set free. David felt the deep sadness, the pain of childbirth and knowing he could not look at the child he had fought so hard to deliver or his resolve would break.

Snow felt the disgust when she was released from prison and saw Neal had left her with a yellow bug and ten thousand dollars, all she had to do was lose a child, the one person she hoped would love her and never leave.

Both hoped it was over, but the memories went on. Staying in her car, sleeping in parking lots, in rest stops, barely eating because the money had to last.

Sitting on a park bench overlooking a cliff with a razor blade, swearing to end it all and not being able to.

David remembered the first bounty he had ever caught. He remembered the shattered jaw and broken arm he received when a man was too large, too skilled and too violent for him to handle. Hoping he would end David’s suffering, he only recieved pain, not release.

He remembered every small apartment. Every birthday spent alone, every Christmas, every night he had cried himself to sleep many times after kicking a woman out of his bed because he didn’t want her to be frightened by the nightmares he had.

Snow remembered drunken one night stands with women whose names she didn’t know, just so she could feel something, anything. She remembered telling herself she was worthless, a waste of life, asleep alone, always alone.

Henry came to Snow, a reminder of the best and worse decision she had ever made in her life.

David remembered his feelings toward Regina, the woman hated him and he understood. Everyone hated him. The voices had started again at some point and reminded him of that constantly.

Regina hated her.

Snow remembered realizing that Regina was as broken as she was. Why wouldn’t Regina let her in? She had been devastated when Graham died, but she understood why Regina did it. Regina did what she never had the strength to do, strike back at someone who hurt her, betrayed her, made her feel not as good as everyone else.

David felt the bitter jealousy towards Robin. He felt the hurt knowing that Henry would not come back to New York with him.

He felt what he would never admit out loud. A part of him had been glad Neal died. A part of him that he felt was petty and vindictive but there none the less. 

Snow remembered Hook loving her. She realized that she could never have Regina but Hook loved her. Maybe he would live. He told her he was a survivor. Snow had to watch him die in the alternate dimension, the one where she had been guarded by Lilly, in chains and hopeless, wondering if this was her existence, wishing she had killed herself when she had the chance.

David remembered his relief when Hook was alive. Maybe this time someone would stay.

“I loved you.” he had told Snow when she was the Dark One. One more betrayal, past tense of course. He didn’t love Snow, he loved who he thought Snow was. Were these Snow’s memories? She thought so.

David watched as the Dark One across the street while those he loved celebratd Regina;s victory insde Granny’s without him.

Both of them felt the blade slip into Hook by there own hand, the way his hard abdomen had given so easily. Regina had been with Robin and Henry watching when Snow and David were forced to kill Hook, another happy ending gone. 

They had enough. No more. Snow’s body would be gone. David cast the barrier and lit the house, then laid on the couch. He felt the fire but the smoke suffocated him before the fire got close. Snow couldn’t breathe. Strangely she wasn’t afraid. Regina would be okay. Regina was strong in a way Emma never could be. Regina didn’t need or want either of them. The Queen was strong enough to protect herself. She had her son, she had her lover, she had the happy ending both had promised her. Now it was time for them to go.

Both felt the relief when the darkness took them. Both felt the panic when they woke up restrained, trapped in a nightmare that would not stop.

Regina had arrived to late, knowing that breaking the connection could shatter the minds of the participants. Judging by the tears and moans streaming down the faces of Snow White and Prince Charming, the former mayor knew what Emma had done. Meanwhile the Savior sat silent and still as a stone, her face never changing, reliving the memories she was planting in her parent’s minds. She didn’t appear affected but Regina knew better. Emma had to live through hell again. Now though, her pain was a weapon.

The beam of light connecting the three dream catchers disappeared and both Snow and David vomited on the table. David was trying to pull his hair out while Snow slammed her head onto the table top covered in her own vomit. Emma had told Regina that she would not kill Snow or Charming, but the Queen wondered if they would kill themselves.

“Would you like to give them your memories Regina? Would you like to show Snow what it was like to be raped by her father every night? Abused by Cora? Betrayed by the little bitch and forced to watch Daniel die?”

“No Emma. I want to take you home.” Regina told her softly.

“I have no home.”

“Yes you do. We have a home.”

“You will leave me or die. Everyone does.”

“I’m not everyone.”

“I’ve heard that before.”

“Never from me.” Regina retorted.

Emma took a deep breath.

“I would like to go to your home. I would like to take some sleeping pills. Do you have anything that can stop dreams?”

“No, and you can’t take sleeping pills. Those could hurt the baby.” Regina told her softly.

“Baby? I have a baby?”

“You are pregnant Emma. Remember Nimue?”

Emma did. She wouldn’t give her baby up. Not again, not ever. Her baby would come to New York if she asked. Her baby would go anywhere with her.

“I remember. I’m tired Regina.”

“Come with me. I will take you to bed. It is going to be okay Emma.”

Emma stood then stopped and stard at her mother who was still banging her head against the table. David had fallen to the floor and was whimpering, curled into a fetal position.

“You may want to put a pillow under her head. I’ve done that before and all it does is give you a horrible headache in the morning. The voices don’t stop.

Regina was surprised that Emma gave a damn until the blonde’s smile let her know that she actually didn’t give a damn. The former Mayor flinched when Emma walked up to Snow but she did not interfere.

Emma whispered in her mother’s ear.

“Take good care of your son. Make sure he never has to grow up like I did. This is the last you will ever hear from me. Never talk to me again, never let me see you. You don’t deserve to see me, do you?”

“No.” Snow squealed.

“Look on the bright side. You saved your fucking kingdom.”

Emma stood and stumbled a bit, prompting Regina to grab her arm. The brunette took a look at the couple, wanting to help, but her priority was Emma. With luck she could take Emma past the town line towards Bangor tonight. At least Emma would not be able to slip off as easily. 

By the time Regina had gotten Emma down the stairs, still wearing one of Regina’s Evil Queen dresses. Emma had become nearly catatonic for a few moments before drifting off to sleep. Regina took the opportunity to call Eugenia.

“Regina? What did she do?”

“Eugenia you need to go to Snow’s loft. I would recommend taking Archie but no one else.”

“What did that child do?!”

“She did the worst possible thing she could do. Emma gave Snow and David her memories. All of them.”

“Oh no.” Granny whispered. “Are they… okay?”

“What do you think? I’m not sure if they will ever be okay again and at this moment I don’t give a damn. Why aren’t you asking if she is okay? She had to relieve it too. Just get over there and help them if you can. I am going to try to get Emma to the clinic tonight. I feel her magic is drained from her memory spell. I am going to call Elsa and have her meet us outside with the scroll. I have to get her out of here.”

“Take help Regina. Even without magic…”

“Let me worry about that. Just get to your King and Queen.” Regina told her, irritation in her voice threatening anger.

“Okay. Thank you for calling. Keep me informed.”

“Of course.” not. Emma was Regina’s responsibility. Quite frankly the former mayor was irate that Granny seemed more concerned about Snow and Charming than the Princess. Of course she should have expected no different. Snow and Regina had mended their differences over the past couple years, even close to being considered friends. But she admitted as far as revenge went, they probably got what they deserved. For some reason Emma never held the curse against her. Emma loved her and Emma would be lovedin return.

After a quick call to Elsa who asked to come and was told no, under no certain terms would she be coming alone, Regina magicked Emma’s familiar clothes onto her. The sight of the Savior in that dress, or any dress of Regina’s chilled her. The former Queen kept those dresses in her crypt as a reminder of what she was and what she never planned to go back to. Now perhaps it was time to burn them. That could wait. 

Emma remained asleep, whimpering at times and shifting in her seat but never woke. She slept through Elsa handing the scroll through the car window with tears in young blonde’s eyes and slept across the town line. Once they had passed it, Regina felt the familiar feeling of something being ripped away from her. Her magic was gone, but instead of feeling empty she felt free. A part of her contemplated trying to talk Emma into staying with her out of Storybrooke for good, having Henry join them once the visions were handled, but Emma would never go for it. Regina had to make use of this time to get her illness under control. Once that happened, she hoped Emma could be reasoned with. If she couldn’t, Regina had a feeling Storybrooke had not seen the last of their fallen Savior.


	15. The calm before the storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma and Regina check into the clinic in Bangor while Storybrooke tries todeal with the repercussions of Emma's actions the night before.

Do not own OUAT.

Chapter 15

Emma woke feeling hungover, not a new experience for her by any means, but one that caught her by surprise this morning. She had not been drinking. She wouldn’t do that. Emma was pregnant and she planned to do things right. She would show everyone that she could be a good mother.

So why was her mouth dry and her head pounding?

For that matter where was she? This didn’t feel like her car or a bed at Granny’s or even Regina’s sinfully comfortable bed. Opening her eyes, she gazed upon an unfamiliar bare white ceiling with a sprinkler head, one of those that were in place in the event of a fire. She usually saw them in hotel rooms or…

Emma jerked up in bed, panicking. She was in … where was she? What happened?

“Good morning.”

Regina’s voice, managing to sound sultry even upon waking caught her attention. The brunette was sitting in a chair in the corner of the simple but pleasant room, obviously belonging to some clinic or another, with her legs curled underneath her, garbed in a black pant suit and purple blouse, heels on the floor next to the chair. Emma jerked her wrists up to check for bonds.

“What have you done, Regina?” Emma whispered.

“What do you mean? You told me you would let me get help for you. For the baby? Memory problems, visions, hallucinations, any of this ring a bell?” Regina told her, unable to hide the exhaustion from her voice.

“So you locked me up in a damn mental hospital?!”

Regina quirked an eyebrow in disbelief but after a second realized she should be used to Emma’s confusion and mood swings.

“I haven’t locked you up anywhere. I drove all night while you slept, exhausted no doubt from that little trip down memory lane you magically subjected yourself to last night and we arrived in Bangor three hours ago. You wouldn’t even wake up to walk in so I made a nurse grab a wheelchair. I just finished the paperwork twenty minutes ago and the nurse is processing you as a patient. Luckily I had the right to consent to medical treatment for you.”

“So if I go to that door, you won’t stop me from leaving? It won’t be locked?” Emma asked, her, desperation evident in her voice.

“Nope. We aren’t in Storybrooke, there are no magical seals or prisons or magic at all for that matter. I have no desire to be physically beaten so I won’t stop you from leaving. I will never let you be locked up again Emma. Ever.”

Emma stared at the door but began to relax a bit.

“If I’m not locked up why is the door closed?”

“I assumed you would not want people looking at you sleeping as they strolled by. You told me you would agree to this. Last night was a very bad night for you. Do you remember what you did?”

Did she? Emma remembered Snow and Charming … her memories. She gave them to the prince and princess. Unfortunately to do so, she had to relive them all herself. The magic it took was sizeable, enough to account for her hungover feeling this morning.

“I gave them my memories.” Emma told her plainly.

“Yes you did. Do you remember the town hall meeting or borrowing my dress? One of many I plan to burn if we go back to Storybrooke, I might add.”

Emma’s brow furrowed in confusion. Did she remember that? It seemed like it happened long ago.

“Seriously, you can’t remember the reenactment of the Evil Queen’ greatest hits you pulled off? I for one loved it, dear.” a voice in front of the bed asked her.

Emma glared at Cruella. Of all the ghosts she would have to put up with, this was one she gladly would take. Killing her had felt wonderful.

“My God you are as hideous dead as you were alive.” Emma told her.

“Who is there Emma?” Regina asked, tensing.

“No one.” the blonde replied shortly. Instead of challenging her, Regina just sighed, causing Emma to feel guilt, an emotion she seemed to reserve for the former Queen.

“Sorry. Cruella. She is gone now. I guess I made a scene at your meeting?”

“Don’t worry about it. It will give those idiots something to talk about for the rest of the year. The rabble do need their amusements.” Regina’s voice did not carry the disapproval Emma suspected it would, so perhaps everything was okay between the two.

“So you want me to stay?”

“Yes, I would very much like you to stay. We are scheduled to meet with a very accomplished doctor this morning who is an expert on treating pregnant women with Schizophrenia. I think she can help us.”

“Us?” Emma asked, catching that, catching every word that has ever left the woman’s mouth, good and bad.

“I think you have figured out by now, at least I hope you have that we are a team. You have always had my back and I will always have yours. If you go down, I go down. Right now we are going down Emma, but I think we have a chance to stop it or at least slow the descent.”

“They are going to want me to talk. What am I supposed to tell them?” Emma asked.

“Tell them truth up until your time in Storybrooke. No matter what you do, do not say anything about fairy tales, Dark Ones, magic, pirates, Neverland, Camelot or Evil Queens. You should probably leave out dragons and ogres too. If you say any of those things we both may be locked up. A lot happened to you before Storybrooke. Our purpose for this visit is not to fix everything Emma, or help you deal with the past. Our purpose this time is to find a medication that can help you stop seeing people who aren’t there, stabilize your moods, help your memory and do so in a manner which does not harm your baby.”

“Okay.” Emma agreed, feeling certain that Regina was not trying to trick her. “You should get some sleep. Come to bed and I will sit in the chair.”

“I’m not going to lay down in that bed. If I do I won’t wake up for hours and the doctor is scheduled to meet with us in two hours. I do need some coffee though. Would you like to walk to the cafeteria with me? Maybe you can handle a glass of orange juice?”

“I can leave the room?” Emma asked again, momentarily surprised. She believed she wasn’t locked up but did not think Regina would encourage her to move around.

“This isn’t prison, Emma. I don’t know how long we will be here or how long it will take your medication to take effect and even the correct dosage, so I would suggest we familiarize ourselves with this place.”

Regina stood and straightened her deep purple blouse and black pants. Slipping on her heels, she turned toward the door, glancing back at Emma and reaching her hand out towards her.

“Coming? You can shower, brush your teeth whatever when we get back if you want. I will take care of myself after the doctor leaves, then I plan to sleep for hours.”

Emma stood slowly, realizing she was in a simple pair of blue sweats and comfortable sneakers.

“Why are you doing this Regina? Is it for Henry?” the blonde asked, sort of curious and sort of dreading the answer.

“Because I love you. I’m hungry, are you coming? I may pass out from sheer exhaustion if you don’t help me walk.”

Emma grinned and reached for her hand. The hungover feeling disipated some with Regina’s words. Perhaps she wouldn’t have to be alone. 

There was still unfinished business in Storybrooke. Blue, Marco, August, and epecially Gold were never far from her mind. Today though, she would do whatever it took to make Regina happy. The beauty was correct. Emma did not need these ghosts distracting her from the work she had to do. If this doctor could make them go away, give her some control, then her mission to clean this world of all who would want to harm her baby would be easier.

A memory of the night before hit Emma as she walked down the hall, hand in hand with Regina. A memory of a black dress and a dagger.

How would Regina react when she realized Emma had hidden the dagger?

She would worry about it later. Right now she had to focus. Regina loved her. That was enough motivation to get through this day.

One breakfast for Regina, an apple for Emma, which Regina appreciated the irony of and a slow walk back to the room, Dr. Eva Taylor was waiting for the two.

“I apologize Doctor. I thought you would be another thirty minutes or so.” Regina told the woman politely, wanting to start off on the right foot. Dr. Taylor was a short woman, mid fifties, slightly overweight for her height and had short slighltly greying dark hair and deep brown eyes. She had a look about her that took Regina a moment to recognize but when she did it was obvious. She had the same look in her eyes as Emma did the first time Regina really met her. Not the night she brought Henry home from Boston but the next day, when standing in a tank top and panties she told Regina she planned to stay. A toughness, hardness even, that let others know this was no Ivy League trust fund baby. She had grown up tough and seen things.

“Not a problem Mrs. Mills. I got through some rounds earlier than expected and was hoping to catch the two of you before breakfast. So you are Regina?”

“Yes.”

“And this must be your wife Emma then?”

Emma froze. Wife? When the hell had they gotten married? Seeing the look on Emma’s face, Regina could have slapped herself. In her exhaustion she had forgotten to tell Emma this one very important detail of their cover story. Regina had power of attorney over Emma but for her to be let in completely and privy to all of Emma’s treatment records a simple marriage certificate had been conjured up before she crossed the town line to make the flow of information go a little bit smoother.

“Yes this is my wife…” Regina started before Emma could say anything “… Emma.”

Okay, I can handle this, was Emma’s first thought. But was she? Had she forgotten? No, Regina would have told them this to avoid any questions as to why the woman was with Emma the entire time.

“Its a pleasure to meet you Emma.” Dr. Taylor reached out her hand and with the best smile she could muster, not a great one albeit, Emma took it.

“Thank you Dr. Taylor.”

“Now the two of you go by Mills?” the doctor asked.

“Swan-Mills.” Emma answered immediately to Regina’s surprise and relief. “But Emma and Regina work just fine.”

“Excellent. Now why don’t you two have a seat on the bed and I will take this chair. We need to get some logistical issues out of the way. The desk clerk informs me the two of you are from out of town … a Storybrooke?”

“Yes.” Regina answered smoothly.

“Funny I have never heard of it. I thought I knew all these Maine towns.”

“Its difficult to find. Very small, very secluded.”

Difficult to find is an understatement. Without a certain scroll it was impossible to find, Emma thought and manage to contain her snort barely.

“Okay, Regina will you be staying with Emma here or at a hotel?”

The former mayor was caught off guard by the question. So much has happened in such a short time, she was amazed at how unprepared she actually was for routine questions.

“I’m not staying if she can’t.” Emma told the doctor, seeing the hesitation on Regina’s face. Emma would sleep in the damn chair if she had to.

“I’m not saying she can’t. I simply want to move you both to another room. The bed in this one isn’t large and I would suggest the two of you have seperate beds. Until I know the reaction you may have to certain meds I am sure you wouldn’t want to risk your wife being injured should you wake up in a violent fit. Not saying that is going to happen, just that it could. I believe it is important for spouses to be a part of the healing process. That said I have no idea how long your stay will be. It could be a week or even two weeks. We are going to start you on a small dosage today of Clozapine. Either I or a nurse will be in at least every two hours to see how you are reacting and whether the symptoms are having relief. We may be using a combination of second generation meds to deal with the symptoms but we will help you. I won’t lie to you, ever. There are going to be side effects, I cannot tell you what they will be because in the case of anti psychotics and anti depressants the side effects are different for everyone. If the hallucinations persist, become worse, let us know. You will be asked over the next couple weeks how you are feeling over a hundred times. Get used to it and saying fine is not an option. If you have any and I mean any, suicidal thoughts I want to know about them immediately. Whether you are suicidal or not some of these drugs could make you feel suicidal. Do you understand? This isn’t just about you Emma. My job is to get you to the best optimal mental health possible while not harming your baby. Keep in mind that you will never be healed. This is a disease and requires medication for control. If you want to be the best mother and wife you can be then take this very seriously. Do not hold anything back. I know you are a guarded person, its all in your eyes but this is the life of a child we are talking about. Understand?”

Emma was taken aback by her blunt words but sensed she could trust the woman. She nodded her head in agreement.

“That’s your problem. Everyone you trust betrays you or leaves. Haven’t you figured it out yet Emma? You are too broken to be of any use to anyone. Regina is most likely at her breaking point with you also. Its a matter of time Ems.”

Emma did her best to not look at Neal, standing in a corner, arms crossed with that damn smirk on his face. Her eyes betrayed her though. Even in her exhausted state, Regina noticed. She had become an expert on Emma’s eyes and could almost feel every emotion the blonde felt just by meeting them.

Before Regina could ask, Dr. Taylor jumped in.

“Who are you seeing right now?”

Emma thought of trying to lie to the doctor but decided not to. Regina’s words were having an effect on her. The woman had done so much already that she did not have to, and the Savior would do her best. Regina was all she had left, outside of the baby growing inside her.

“The father of my son.” she answered. Regina’s eyes widened at the honesty in Emma’s approach. Perhaps this could work after all.

“What did he say to you?” Taylor continued. Emma took a deep breath and met Regina’s eyes. The eyes that were begging her to tell the truth. At this point she had nothing to lose.

“He told me that everytime I trusted someone they betrayed me and left and Regina would do the same.”

“Is he gone now?”

“Yes.” 

“Is the father of your son alive?”

“No.”

“Do you always see people who are dead or do you see some people who are alive?”

“I don’t know. I mean I see people I know are gone but others are just from my past and I have no idea if they are alive or not. I hope not.” Emma admitted, cringing internally, thinking she had gone to far. Instead Taylor smiled at her.

“An honest statement. Do you know why you trust me Emma? I’ve been where you are now. I grew up in the system, I know what it is like. Everyone’s experiences are different but I have a pretty good idea of what you must have gone through. I have also dealt with Schizophrenia since I turned thirty. I had just made it out of medical school and had to delay my internship because of it. I thought my life was over but medication and therapy are a part of my life instead. It is why I have dedicated myself to this profession and specialty.”

This stunned both Regina and Emma, but Emma recovered first.

“If you grew up in the system how did you become a doctor?”

“Hard work, drive and scholarships. Plus a multitude of student loans that took me ten years to pay off. I know you have not gotten enough sleep since this made itself known. I want to talk to you more and hope you will be as awesome in our conversations and open when you are rested. I am mild sleeping pill to help you rest until dinner and after that we will start on a very small dose of Clozapine. I know your wife must be exhausted and the both of you need sleep. You will have to share a bed this once but I don’t see any danger to her at this moment. When you both wake you can have dinner and be moved into your new room. Sound good?”

“Yes, thank you.” Emma replied.

Dr. Taylor moved towards the door but stopped once more and looked at Emma.

“The next time you see one of those assholes tell him or her to fuck off. I’m not going to give up on you and I can tell your wife loves you and would never leave you.”

“Yeah, I know.” Emma told her half hearted.

“You really don’t, but you will. I’ll have the nurse bring you your pill shortly. One other thing. I am assuming you were artifically insementated. Were you give the donor’s medicial history? Any problems I should no about?”

“No, he was very healthy.” Regina answered quickly.

“Thank you. Have a nice afternoon ladies. If you need anything do not hesitate to call a nurse.

Left alone, neither woman said anything until Regina broke the silence first.

“Thank you.”

Emma quietly laughed but no humor was present.

“Shouldn’t I be thanking you? I mean, I don’t want to be a lunatic but I have work to do. You of all people should understand this.”

“I do Emma, but you need to get better before you decide on anything and it means the world to me that you are doing this. Not for Henry, not for me but for you and your baby.”

“Don’t you mean our baby? I mean you did marry me apparently when I was passed out.”

Regina smirked. “You know me. It’s only fitting that a Queen should marry royalty as well.”

“I’ve put you through hell. I don’t understand why you just wouldn’t let me go to Arendelle.”

“Because I didn’t feel up to finding a way to make a portal and follow you nor defeating Elsa’entire army if I had slipped through hers. I would have too. I won’t lose another person I love. I’m going to take a shower and change into something more comfortable.”

“Sexy nightgown?” Emma quipped.

“I was thinking of the jeans I brought. I didn’t have much time. I will buy us some other clothes in town. We can come and go as we please if you are interested, but should probably not be gone long while we see what effect these medications have on you.”

“Fine.” Emma told her, rolling her eyes.

“Then we are going to figure out a way to share that tiny bed and both take a nap. If you have any visitors from the past while I am gone please do me one favor.”

“Anything.”

“Act like the Emma Swan I love and follow the doctor’s advice. Tell them to fuck off.”

Regina walked into the small bathroom in the room, leaving Emma speechless. Regina just said fuck and was planning on wearing jeans. 

Emma really had broken her.

Regina emereged from the shower feeling slightly refreshed. Emma was already asleep and the presence of a paper cup that was not there before indicated she had most likely taken her pill as directed.

The former mayor checked her phone before lying down and noticed it had died sometime in the night. She plugged her charger into a wall outlet and the device came to life again. She saw 15 missed calls, one from Henry and 14 from Granny. Immediately worried that something had happened to her son, she walked into the hall and tried Henry and when recieving no answer called Granny. The old woman picked up on the first ring.

“Regina thank God. Where are you? Did you really take her out of town?”

“How is Henry?!” Regina asked trying to remain calm but picturing him as a Henry ice statue since he was probably in the house with Elsa.

“He is fine. He is staying at the inn. Regina you have to leave Emma wherever she is and come back now!”

Regina pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at it, frowning.

“I am not leaving Emma! Are you out of your damn mind?!”

“Regina do you know what she did to David and Snow?”

“Yes.” the Queen answered simply.

“You do?! Why did you leave? Emma has gone too far! You have got to undo whatever she did to them. She placed some sort of crazy spell on them. Snow is in a closet curled into a fetal position and mumbling to herself. She refuses to come out and screamed about being bad when Archie and I tried! David has been buying alcohol and drinking it by the gallon. He refuses to talk to anyone, even Snow! Sean had to lock him up to prevent him from drinking himself to death in one night! Now he is just in the corner of a cell on the floor crying. What did she do Regina?”

“She gave them her memories, Eugenia.”

Silence for a moment.

“All of them?” the old woman whispered.

“Everyone she has had since her earliest memories. She relieved them herself and they relieved everyone last night as if it happened directly to them.”

“Regina… but thats… horrible. Emma had years to deal with her… issues. She gave all that to her parents in one night? Thats… you have to fix this. You have to remove the memories from them.”

“I can’t.” the Queen answered quickly.

“You can’t or you won’t?”

“I’m not sure if I could without giving them both magical lobotomies but I won’t even if I could.”

“Regina, Snow and David have become your friends! Family! Why would you turn on them now? I know you love Emma, the entire realm knows this, even while you two had your daliances with Robin and Hook but Snow and David don’t deserve this and you know it!”

“I won’t do it, not because of any animosity between myself and Snow or David. I hate that it happened but that was Emma’s choice. It was a decision that she made and until she is better I won’t unmake it. She will decide for herself. Why don’t you try to find the precious Blue Fairy? I’m sure she would love a chance at getting back into the Charming’s good graces.” Regina suggested, knowing that fly couldn’t help with this.

“After what Emma did to Gold last night, Blue went into hiding. She is afraid of Emma and what she will do to her and everyone who has ever looked at her wrong.”

Regina felt a chill go down her spine and actually shivered. Deciding it would be best to pull the band aid off, she asked.

“What did Emma do to Gold?”

“When we couldn’t find you we went to his shop. He was hanging fro a noose by his neck. Sean cut him down and once he could breathe and his face went back to normal he told us Emma visited him last night in that damn black dress holding the dagger.She told him he had to hang himself and remain there, not breathing, in pain, knowing he was immortal and wouldn’t die. We tried to stop him from poofing a new noose but he stopped us and hung himself again. We couldn’t reach him so we left. His face kept turning blue, his tongue… Regina that girl is evil!”

 

Emma had the Dagger. If she broke Regina’s spell on it in the vault, of course it called to her! Emma had it in her possession and after seeing Gold must have hidden it somewhere protected by her magic. Gold would be compelled to follow her command as long as it was in her possession or her magic’s. No one would be strong enough to break her seal if they could even find it. Elsa said she called Regina immediately on finding Emma missing but the brunette wondered if Elsa had been time frozen. Either that or Emma had been very fast. In the spur of the moment, or had it been planned, Emma decided how to make Gold suffer while she determined her course of revenge on him.

“Do not ever call her evil again.” Regina warned in a low threatening voice Granny had not heard in years, putting aside questions about the Dagger for now.

“She is on a rampage. She is the kind of evil we have always fought, Regina. I thought you were a part of that too. I thought you were a hero.”

“Think what you will Granny. I am not a hero or a villian, I am a mother to the child we share and I do love her. I will protect Emma and Henry from anyone and anything. My first loyalty always will be to the two of them. Those who she seeks to have revenge on, understand I cannot nor will I stop her. It is what is due to her. Their best hope would be to pray that the medication has made her more forgiving and beg for forgiveness or run. I doubt they would get away.”

“Regina are you bringing her into the light or is she dragging you back to the darkness?”

“Maybe you should start thinking in shades of grey, Granny. I have to go. Please let Henry know I will call him tonight after we have gotten rest. It has been a very tiring night and day. Just please warn the citizens not to do anything stupid to try to stop Emma when we return. Take my word for it, they can’t.”

“Be careful Regina. The only reason that girl isn’t coming after you is because she loves you. If one day she doesn’t, she may blame you for your part in all this.”

“Then I will take what I have coming to me, if she decides to do so.”

Regina ended the call and turned back to the room door, only to be greeted by a smiling Emma, standing in the open doorway. She had most likely heard everything.

Emma walked up slowly to the brunette and gently kissed her on the cheek.

“I’ll never doubt you again, my Queen. Come lay down with me.”


End file.
